Monday, 15 February 2010

The Lord searches for gainful employment


Firstly we give thanks for our recently joined acolytes. To the Sisters' surprise we have now reached a grand total of 60. It seems that the Lord continues to attract followers to His Church e'en though he is no longer providing personal sermons from the 40" altar. May our new acolytes gain some semblance of solace and comfort in the House of Pervitude whilst the Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* seeks gainful employment at the Gordon Brown Centre for Jobs in glorious Crouch End.

As you can see from above he is perusing daily London's Evenin' Standard for a reason to get dressed in the morning. So far he has been turned down for School Crossing Patrol Operative and Pizza Delivery Driver. His options are dwindling so the Sisters have stepped in to assist the Lord in his search.  

We have acquired, through the usual nefarious means, a copy of the Lord's latest CV which he has uploaded to We felt that a wider publication of His skills and experience might be help to find Him suitable employment.


Name David Tennant (aka The Lord Ten-Inch)

Age 38 but acts like a teenager on heat most of the time

Skills and Knowledge

Excellent understanding of equality and diversity issues through spending last 4 years travelling in a blue wooden box meeting many diverse cultures.

Excellent with electrical equipment. Ability to fix almost anything with a couple of wires and a sonic screwdriver

Very fit. Always running around. Manual handling may be a problem due to a long standing back injury

Excellent work ethic - never sleep or eat.

Ability to motivate others and engender feelings of love and loyalty in both close work colleagues and wider society.

Able to speak in different accents - Estuary English, Scottish, Welsh and American are most practiced, though will give anything a go. Very popular for answerphones and SATNAV voice-overs.

Ability to make ladies (and gentlemen of a certain bent) to swoon and require an immediate change of bloomers with a single look. Excellent understanding of when to use this ability and when to hide behind aviators and a baseball cap. 

Clean Driving licence (since changing car to a Toymota Penis)

Can start immediately and would consider travel to anywhere for regular work


Extensive management experience having recruited several new personal assistants in recent past.

Experience of being a radio DJ having stood-in for the mighty Wossy on a number of occasions

Experience of taking clothes off on stage - would consider again in the name of *art*

Considerable childminding experience of late.

Please email me @ with any open positions.Will consider anything.


Let us pray Sisters that the Lord finds employment that will keep the wolf from the door and Himself away from the school gates for some months to come.

Tennant x x x