Thursday, 30 October 2008

And so we bid a fond farewell...


So much to say and so little time to say it.

As we bid a fond adieu to our homes for our pilgrimage to Shakeyland so does our(Time) Lord bid farewell to that most famous and coveted of roles at the BBC. It was indeed in shock and awe and sliding to the floor that I received the most distressing of news last night from out of the mouth of the Lord himself. Oh what a mouth, that pert top lip, that most suckable bottom lip (sorry I'm digressing). The Lord is indeed handing the key of the Tardis to some undeserving lowlife at the end of the specials.

And so, Sisters, it is with heavy heart and plodding step that I pack my vampy see through top, my hip-hugging black trousers and my fuck-me boots for our sojourn in Stratford. I feel in need of a group therapy session around a bottle of voddy in the Dirty Duck. If the Lord could join us, to comfort us each in tun with his 10", so much the better!

After the weeping and a-wailing and self-flagellation following the news of his departure, there is a growing realisation across the T'interweb that the Lord may now be seen in more "adult" roles which can only be watched by those who have a post-watershed bedtime. We will finally be rid of the Child and her little gang of followers who will soon forget the Lord and all his attributes and move back to boy bands and Iggle Piggle.

The Lord will once again be held in esteem in his rightful place on the 40" altar bearing his soul, his chest and, the Universe willing, wielding his 10" rather than a sonic screwdriver!

Bring it on Sisters!

Until tomorrow my friends. Au Revoir. xxx

Sunday, 19 October 2008

Seven Sunday Sins


I feel that as it is Sunday, we should have a Sermon, and what better topic than the seven deadly sins as applied to the (Time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"*

Naturally, being good and faithful Sisters of Pervitude, we are seeking ways to embrace the 7 into our daily routine of worship at the 40” altar and contemplation of impure thoughts and deeds., so that should an opportunity arise to practice any of these sins in the presence of our Lord Himself, the Sisters will be deemed worthy of His praise and the attention of the 10”.

1. Lust – Well Duh! The picture added to this post inspires lustful thoughts in all the SOP. Ah that the Bastard Face be turned on us when we stand in his presence.

2. Gluttony - Overindulgence on the 10"? Gluttony is most prevalent when worshipping at the 40” altar, Casanova, followed by Blackpool and finished off with Secret Smile.

3. Greed – The SOP are mistresses of this sin. We are willing and prepared to take the 10” any time, any place, any how! Just call us the Martini Girls.

4. Sloth – Sisters, this is the most taxing deadly sins. How can we be uncaring or apathetic about the (Time) Lord? We will need to be punished severely by the 10” for our failure. *Bend over and lift thy skirt*

5. Wrath – I think we have proven our devotion to the Lord by calling Holy Jihad on a regular basis. Organisations and individuals who stand in the way of the Sister’s work will be subject to our unending wrath. Those who criticize the Lord’s work (or call him *skinny*) will be similarly dealt with.

6. Envy - Ah indeed. This goes hand in hand with wrath. The Sisters do covet those who have unlimited access to the 10” and do declare Holy Jihad upon them.

7. Pride – We are proud of our (Time) Lord and all that he achieves: sexiest man, most popular actor, best actor in a drama series, blue peter badge winner! May he continue to be decorated with such honours and may the Sisters continue to bask in His Glory.

Here endeth the Sermon for this holy day.

Tennant x

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Bum, Bum, Bum


I have temporarily borrowed the above picture from someone lucky enough to get this view over the weekend. I promise to return it when we have finished with it, although it may be slightly soggy by then!
I leave you now for some solitary contemplation of the rear of our (Time) Lord. *Pass my Holy Spatula please*
Tennant x

Saturday, 11 October 2008

A Plethora of Pervitudiness (Pervitudity?)

The Sisters gathered around the 40" altar last night to:

  • Perve our (Time) Lord,
  • Plan for our Shakey pilgrimage; and
  • Plot our revenge upon those who seek to emulate and immitate us.
Our perving proved very fruitful. Many new visions have emerged from the Door that leads to the Thrust Stage. Some very bloomer-damaging moving images have also been captured on instruments of idle gossip and posted to the nefarious video website known as Youtube (or in Sister Burny's case You-can't-tube). Many splendid hours of research was undertaken by Sisters Chastity and Shagwell to discover the best place to stand at the barrier and the best approach to take to ensure a suitable response from our Lord (trade secrets I'm afraid).

Plans are taking shape for the pilgrimage. The days (and nights) are being planned with military precision - 14 hundred hours, check in; 17 hundred hours have showers and decorate self with war paint; 19 hundred hours be scared out of our tiny minds; 21 hundred hours partake of satay chicken and prawn crackers. Sometime in the early morning I believe we will be opening the voddy and perving DI Carlisle (if not in the flesh, then most definately on the shiny round discs that show moving pictures).

Our hearts were gladdened by the news that Sister Chastity's letter has been received and responded to by the Lord. He knows we are coming! Her signed Hammy pic has been reverently placed with her other sacred relics collected over the past years.

Sister Shagwell's recent audience with the Right Honorable Mr R T Davies also proves that the Sisters are becoming increasingly well connected. Congratulations to the Sister on her gold star from the head of DW!

So the night was only marred by the disappointment that while the Sisters are attracting attention across the web, it seems that we are being imitated and our name is being taken in vain. This has caused some slight discord in the Order and we have set Sister Burnaholeinmyknickers on the case of these imposters and tricksters. Leave no stone unturned Sister in rooting out these unbelievers!

Until next week. May the Lord be with you and fill you with his soul and his seed.

Tennant x

Friday, 10 October 2008

Musings on a Friday.....


I have sucumbed to the virus that is prevalent amongst the great unwashed of the west country and think i might be high on Beechams powders so i apologise in advance if this makes no sense at all!!

I have been musing this morning about our (Time) Lord *praise be his name and 10 inch*. It seems that LLL has opened to almost universal critical acclaim. Once again, the massed press - broadsheet and red top - seem surprised that the Lord displays such a natural talent for the stage. I am mystified as to why this should be, but grateful that they have chosen to shower well deserved praise on the Lad. Please note the Captain of the Enterprise has not chosen to appear in TWO shakey plays concurrently! The fact that the Lord can do this says a lot for his stamina (!!!)

I am looking foward with barely concealed excitement and damp bloomers to our imminent pilgrimage to the sanctity of Shakeyland. Each, almost daily, report of our Lord's Stage Door appearances builds my anticipation to fever pitch, only to be increased by the visions of shaggability which accompany these reports. I have now even seen a moving picture image of the Lord amongst his followers, on the dreaded *Youtube* (Holy Jihad be called on said website until Sister Berny can also indulge in such pervitude). His informal banter with the hormonal women behind the barriers fills my heart with joy as i eagerly await my turn to try and persuade the Lord to place his holy lips upon mine for the sake of the Children in Need!

And so, as I snuggle further under the blanket in an effort to keep my burning flesh warm, I am kept hopeful that the Lord will appreciate his *presents* from the Sisters and reward us with his *presence* later in the place where we have chosen to rest our heads. (It takes great effort to pun when you have a headache the size of Vesuvius!)

May the (Time) Lord bless you and keep you.

Tennant x

Sunday, 5 October 2008

Nylon visions....

Today, Sister Chastity shared this rather endearing pic of The Lad sporting a rather flattering pair of nylons. Be still my beating heart. My head is full of inpure thoughts after worshipping in front of this picture for many hours. Praise be to the Lord 10".
Tennant. x

Stirring the Blood

It seems the blog has reached a critical mass of people now to start stirring debate as to what we post. We are not simply talking to ourselves after all!!!

I would like to say here and now that the Sisters who devised and made the Blog and continue to contribute to it, do it purely out of love for our (Time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"*. We post what we want, when we want to post it.

We make no secret of the fact that we scavenge the T'interweb, forums and other blogs, in our never ending search for titbits, images and gossip about the Lord so that we may share these with our fellow sisters, novice, acolytes and sundry other followers.

If you find something on here that belongs to you, be very proud. It means that it is the best on the web! If you don't like it, don't come back! It won't prevent us doing what we do on behalf of womenkind everywhere.

OK rant over. Sorry Sisters to spoil Sunday with a post like this, but I feel it may be time to call Holy Jihad on all the Whingers, Moaners, Spoilsports and general Pain In The Arses and tell them to Bog Off and leave the Sisters alone to their Pervitude.

I have chosen the above picture to remind everyone why we are here!

Tennant Sisters. Tennant x

Saturday, 4 October 2008

Holy Visions

Sisters, fall to your knees in worship of the vision before you.

I am in need of many hours of solitude in my cell with a spatula.

Prasie be upon him and the thought of stubble burn be with you for many days.....

Tennant xx

Dear Sisters... is, but 4 weeks till we make our pilgrimage to the Holy land of Shakey. I am preparing myself for this mission by spending many hours online searching and admiring(and perving) over pictures of The Lad and spreading the Good Word of the might of the 10" all over the tinterweb...(and the Rhydian Forum! They love me over there.) I feel I am fully prepared to absorb the might of the 10" and marvel in its glory. And in its tights. (Humana Humana.) I would also like to thank Sister Chastity for her glorious images of 'The Tongue', which have filled me with many impure thoughts which all of my fellow sisters will be very proud of their Novice for having! Thanks, Sisters.

Tennant. x

Friday, 3 October 2008

Dear Sisters...

The Sisters, known for their wisdom and for calling an instrument for tilling the soil an instrument for tilling the soil, have been receiving an increasing number of emails from poor lost souls who need more clarity of purpose in their lives.

As always the Sisters are willing to help. Here is a selection of the Dear Sisters letters we received this week:

Dear Sisters, I am a victim of cyber bullying. I can’t leave the house for fear of being pelted with eggs. I think it may be something to do with the man who buys my rusks and milk. love Georgia

Dear Georgia... fuck off and leave the Lad to some real women!
Love, the Sisters

Dear Sisters, I came to America to seek my fortune but have ended up on a shit vamp show. should I return to the UK and get back with my previous boyfriend? Soph

Dear Soppy.... We advise you stay put as you have more chance of making a fortune than shagging your ex.
Love, the Sisters

Dear Sisters, I live in welsh Wales and had a fantastic relationship with my previous partner before he dumped me, was I being too clingy as his work often kept him from my bed, and apart from that my 'rents complained about the noise when he stayed over? B

Dear welsh sheep shagger, I fear that it was never destined to be true love between you and your partner. His job is his life and frankly you were just a convenient shag. Get over it, and for Thorssake move out of the 'rents or your never going have a decent relationship.
Love, the Sisters

Dear Sisters, I am a small aussie gay icon and I have fallen for a tall Scottish lad. We find it hard to shag because I am so small he can’t find me in the dark. Can you suggest any positions which we might try?

Dear Kylie, it is Kylie isn't it? Our advice is DON'T DO IT! if he is that tall you may end up be impaled on a weapon of mass orgasm and may never sing again - hang on, go for your life girl!
Love, the Sisters xx

Dear sisters, my name is… well people just call me Gremlin. I work for BBC welsh wales and have fallen for a colleague. Recently I caught him in the stationery cupboard with another co-worker. I feel so humiliated and ashamed. He has gone away to work at the moment but is due back in January. How can I cope upon his return? Please help me sisters.

Gremlin you say? Strange as I thought you spelt Jennie will a J. Our advice would be to carry on as if nothing had happened as I feel this colleague will do the same to the next available payroll number. Could you not transfer or alternatively ensure that your colleague is surrounded by men who are travelling on "the other bus" Maybe that way he will stick to the job in hand and not go looking to sharpen his pencil in another hole.
Love, the Sisters

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Here Come the Sisters


I have declared Holy Jihad on another multinational company today - Abbey Plc - who have singularly failed to call me when they promised and have removed £1000 from my account - leaving us penniless today. I am furious beyond description so have turned to our (Time)Lord *praise be his 10"* to pray for calm and happiness in the midst of my troubles.

I have been contemplating our upcoming pilgrimage to the Thrust Stage (assuming the bloody bank give me my money back) and feel we need a Sisters of Pervitude group song to sing whilst wending our way amongst the great unwashed on the streets of Stratford. May I humbly suggest "Here Come the Girlz" - SOP re-mix:

here come the girls...Mmmmm

oh yeah..Oh Vodka, I don't need no lemonade


Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)

Slippin' on our little black dresses
10 inches we're bound to impress
Turn it up, we're little temptresses
Monroe's got nothin' on us
Read our curves like poetry
Tonight we rule the world, beware cos here come the girls

Here the whistle as we walk by
Shine like a crystal all through the night
One look will make a grown Timelord cry
Step aside we got a starring role
Camera, Action, Here we go
Tonight we rule the world, beware cos here come the girls

We're filled with sexuality
With a sex-mad scotsman we feel complete
Stop speculating, we're Sisters of Pervitude
All independant women know
We got the guts to run the show
Don't let no Lad tell us nothing
We're in control

Sing out Sisters!!!!

Tennant x