Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Meanderings of a Sister at the close of another twelvemonth

 Speccy Love Pics....

So we are finally bidding a fond farewell to the twelvemonth of 2010 which has seen our Time Lord *praise be his name and Ten-inch* take his leave of the Tardis, venture less than successfully across the pond and end up doing some very dodgy sleb impressions on the fourth channel for a not-very-amusing quiz show hosted by an animated turd. It has certainly been a year of lows and even lowers for our Lord...a year not to remember too fondly perchance.

The Sisters too have suffered greatly this year. In May, the great unwashed of the UK did vote into Westminster the unholy alliance of Dave and Nick since when the Sisterhood has been subjected to many funding cuts and has had to make efficiencies. Gone is the golden cloth which is draped over the 40" altar, gone are the works of art depicting images of our Lord adorning the walls of the chapel of the faithful, gone also are the many images of our Lord cast in durable plastic with poseable arms and legs. Instead we are reduced to fashioning images of the Lord out of toilet roll holders and sticky back plastic as befits the Blue Peter generation. We do promise though that no matter how tough it gets in 2011, the front-line services provided by this Blog and on which so many vulnerable and needy females of the world rely will continue unabated and uncut!!

It is tradition at the end of a year to take some time to review the events of that year or the good works carried out by the Great and the Good. However, bearing in mind that Single Father is probably the Lord's the best of the year, I decided to break with tradition and instead I would take a fond look back at a decade of the Lord's sex life. Perhaps somewhere in North Londoom, the Lord is doing the same thing with a view to commencing 2011 footloose and fancy free once again. 

Anne Marie - the original blonde now married to a tall dark scot
Natalie - another blonde now shacked up with a tall dark shakespearean actor
Kiera - A bit off piste for the Lord - a brunette this time
Soppy Sophia - the posh blonde totty - ran away to the US; dumped by text
Jennie - the ever faithful fuck - buddy
Bethan - the *let me try a welsh non-actory-type* blonde
Jennie - Back to the fuck - buddy again to keep the Ten-inch in shape
Kylie - We all know he did....

...which brings us to the Child, the elf and the wannabe-in-laws of whom I am loathe to speak on the Blog.

So to the Resolutions for the new year:

For the Sisters: Continue to unite red-blooded women everywhere in pervitude of the Lord Ten-inch. At the annual collective in the warmer months there will be much talk of Ten-inchs, sidies, stubble and chest hair.

For the Acolytes: Keep up the pervitudeness and spread the word to needy women at work, out shopping, cousins, aunties and even your granny. Let's get 100 Acolytes in 2011!

For the Lord: Get a decent job for fucksake!! - one that requires many sex scenes, nudity and wetness and dump the albatross round your neck or you'll never win another BAFTA.

And finally not in the words of Rabbie Burns....

Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,

an nivir brocht ti mynd?
Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,
an ald lang syn*?

Fir ald lang syn, ma jo,
fir ald lang syn,
wil tak a cup o kyndnes yet,
fir ald lang syn.

An sheerly yil bee yur pynt-staup!
an sheerly al bee myn!
An will tak a cup o kyndnes yet,
fir ald lang syn.

Tennant xxx

The TimeLord *praise be his name and Ten* logs onto
Blogger and gets a surprise!

Saturday, 25 December 2010

Here lies a witty Christmas Blog Post - RIP

There would have been a witty Christmas day blogpost here except that Blogger decided to crash and dump the whole thing as it was being posted.

So you will have to make do with this pic.

Happy Xmas - NOT!

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a quiz

Dear Sisters, Acolytes and other wonderful followers

I am full of apology this blog as I have neglectful of my Sisterly duties in duly reporting the comings and goings of the Lord David Tennant *praise be his name and Tenninch*. Long have the comments on the previous blog lain in my inbox, untended and unread by the masses and much do I regret disappointing the Lord's followers in this way.

I only have one thing to blame and that is the devil inspired unholy alliance of David (C not T) and Nick in the fair city of Londoom. The pain and strife that this dastardly duo have wreaked amongst the Sisterhood over the last few months has been most dreadful and has caused the Sisters to fall from the path of Virtue and Grace that leads to our Lord's Pearly Gates at the end of Crouch. However, the fate of this Sister has now been sealed and she will cease to be a servant of the people and become one of the great unwashed in the job centre as of the last day of the third month in the year of our Lord two thousand and twelve. Mark the day well, fellow Pervitudes as I will have much time on my idle hands with which to cause mischief and merriment a-plenty.

That time is not upon us though and we must continue with business as usual. This week, this involves a traditional Christmas Quiz - you know the sort of thing 12 D of C; WWYAMC; Gone off in a stable receptacle etc. The answers are all related to works of our Lord (naturellement):

1: Life in a Northern Town
2: She is Hot
3: Progeny of a General Practitioner
4: Lone Parent
5: Wordsmith's Cypher
6: Hidden Grin
7: Self help book for Herpists
8: Journey to Hell
9: Shh Books in here
10: Students not Teachers

These are just for fun... the only prize is your own smugness at getting them all! I will not post comments with any answers in for 7 days!