Friday, 28 November 2008

Why are Blog posts like the 207 bus?

... Coz you wait ages for one and then three come all at once!

I have been working in the Nunnery today rather than out and about with the Care in Community folk. As part of my labours, I have gathered together some of the recent visions of our Lord as have appeared on the T'interweb and worked my picture editing magic on them so that we can worship them over and over again this coming end of week.

I must also confess that recently the (time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"* came unto me in my dreams and told me that I must leave my current flock and move to the Local Authority of the Dolphin as their needs were great. He told me I would be required to be a-preaching and a-praying for their souls and that only in His Magnificance would they be saved. Obviously I heeded his words and am now packing my Hammy posters, DW calendar and precious visions of Stubble to take to these needy people as soon as possible. They will indeed by saved!!!

So sisters, as another week of weary toil has passed and we look forward to our weekend of Pervitude and communal wine, I give a toast to the 10". May he foreswear the company of Children and forever take his pleasure at the feet of the Sisters!

Tennant Sisters x

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Acolyte gossip...

Dear Sisters

It seems we have an Acolyte of some notoriety amongst our followers. I note (with envy) that Acolyte Sebrina was at LLL recently and was chosen to be the special favourite of our Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch*

As we ourselves witnessed at the matinee performance attended by the Sisters and Gutter friends, the Lord did chose a willing female to receive his wit and repartee and we believe even corresponded with some of these females by way of a reporter's notepad during the performance.

Acolyte Sebrina, please confess all to the Sisters and your name will be sung in the highest praise as a true follower of Pervitude!

Let us pray for enlightenment.

Tennant x

He returns to his f***k (that's F L O C K!)

*Time*Lord forgive me. It has been 17 days since my last blog.


I have been seriously delinquent in my duties to the Sisterhood of late. I must confess that I have had other matters on my mind and for that I am truly sorry. That said, I come to the blog bearing good tidings of great joy to the unwashed of the T'interweb.

Over the coming mid-winter festive period a great star will descend from the heavens and come to rest over the 40" altar. This Star will herald the presentation of a Man to light up our living rooms at this Christmas time. This Man will be an Actor of great repute, a wise man whose utterances upon the great stages of ShakeyLand and the West End of Londoom have been greeted by tidal waves of appreciation by females in the audience. A Man for whom the words *credit crunch* mean a smaller BBC payroll from amongst whom he chooses his daily *prayer* companion. A Man who thinks nothing of appearing in public looking like a hack with a bad crack habit (see above).

Yes Sisters, rejoice for this Man is no other than the Lord himself made flesh on this earth. He shall appear before us on Christmas day, and at other sundry times over the holiday season, when we most need his love and ten-inch to give us sustenance to continue being nice to the 'rents and the rest of the clan that we only see once a year!

Sing Hallelujah Sisters - The Lord returneth!!!

Monday, 10 November 2008

Prepare for new Visions of the Lord


November is indeed a blessed month. The Lord will grace the 40" altar on two separate occasions within the next two weeks. Spatulas at the ready sisters.

On 14 November we will be treated to a whole 2 mins of as yet unseen footage of two Davids galvanting around a well known West Country cathedral city with white flaky stuff clinging to their sonics. *The Next Doctor* as RTD has skillfully named this eppy will be trailed on the programme for needy children. It also stars the Irish bint from Ballykissangel who is married to that rather nice looking RP-J (aka Grimani). I feel obliged to ask *Is there anyone David hasn't worked with* and *when is it the Sisters turn*?

No sooner have we worshipped the (time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"* on Friday then on Saturday 22nd November he once more graces the 40" altar in the guise of Arthur Stanley Eddington - a gay scientist. Well whatever turns you on! Friends with Albert Einstein and living with his glamourous sister and wearing very british suits and little round glasses, this does nto promise much in the way of 10" action on screen for the sisters. However, the Lord does make cricket seems a way more interesting game that I ever thought possible!

So sisters, it is with a lighter heart that I blog today. Shakeyland and the Thrust Stage may have come and gone, but we have new visions to look forward to between now and Santa's Day.

Raise up thy voices in song Sisters!

Tennant x

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Berowne, Hammy and full frontal thrusting. Act 1

Sisters, let me recall recent events...

Tis a week since we made the journey from the far flung corners of lil old Engerlaaand and the Isle of Emerald to converge upon Shakeyland. One by one the sisterhood arrived and made their way to the little shop in order to purchase items of a visionary nature before entering the grubby long necked swimmy thing and partake in numerous communal wine and voddys. Many hours of devoted contemplation took place and a plan of worship developed. Once the plan had been agreed the sisters staggered - sorry, walked back to their temporary holding cells for a brief moment of solitary contemplation with the spatula.

Darkness fell over Shakeyland and the sisters made their way to the ghostie tour in the hopes of sighting ol' Billy Boy seeing as it was All Hallows Eve when the veil between the living and dead is at its thinnest. Luckily Billy Boy didn't want to talk as this sister had a few choice words to say regarding the suffering his works have caused millions of children thoughtout the years. Our ghostie guide was also an undertaker during daylight hours and made it known on more than several occasions to Sister C and myself that he was laying with another woman... like that is going to stop us! The sisters felt overall that the only spirits present in the haunted house were safely inside Chastity and Shagwell!

We bid farewell to the ghostie guide and promptly made our way to a "withered spoon" were the sisterhood ate the last supper(of the night). We said (dis)grace before breaking of the chip and drinking more communal wine and voddy. Many discussions took place regarding our beloved and soon it was time for the sisters to make one of many pilgrimages toward the area where our Lord was addressing the great unwashed of shakeyland. We arrived at the gates of backstage to find that the barrier had not been erected therefore our love would not be coming amonst us with the sharpie that evening. (I suspect he might have been "bobbing" for apples). We stood for a few moments then decided to haul ass back to our holding cells.

As the sisters were also girly guides we were prepared with the instruments of idle gossip should the Lord decide to use the stealth mode that the devil's own chariot (penismobile) has installed. Alas, poor sisters, we were not rewarded. However news did reach our ears that our Lord's good father had come to pay call upon his youngest to check whether he was washing behind his ears.

It was at this point that Sister C felt she needed to preach the word of the Lord to all that reside in Waterside (that rhymes!) Some say many are still looking up some of the adjectives used. Indeed upon our arrival the sister was so overcome with great love for our Lord that she fell to the floor in adoration.

To be continued. ...

Tennant x