Friday, 18 September 2009
Sisters, Acolytes and stubble lovers of the T'interweb,
The leaves are turning golden, the nights are closing in and the weather has turned colder so I thought we all needed a bit of Gorgeous Lord Tenninch to cheer us up.
Firstly, a pic from his recent Tour de Force on the otherwise dreadful Christian O'Connell Solution show wearing a very familiar flowered shirt. You may notice however, that the Lord's shirt is even more tight fitting than usual. Whilst the glimpse of flesh from between buttons is most pleasing to my eye, it does lead me to wonder whether our Lord has been partaking too freely of the harvest festival offerings left for *resting* actors at the Church of the Latter Day Luvvies - aka the Ivy. If that is not the reason, then maybe he forgot to turn the washing machine down after boil washing the Child's nappies and bibs and shrank his best shirts. This could also explain why he was spotted in North London last week wearing an old grandad cardi which could only have been purchased in the nearest Help the Aged charity shop.
Moving swiftly past the latest fashion disaster, earlier this week I stumbled upon a sight so stunning that it left me in need of a nebuliser and several pairs of new bloomers. The pictures show the Lord preparing to preach to the great unwashed in LA LA Land. As you can see, his words of wisdom are written on parchment and he is sitting in the Great Wooden Throne of Hollyweird awaiting the arrival of the masses.
The pictures also show our Lord hanging around the back door of some hostelry or den of ill repute. Presumably, this was so that he could take the ladies of the night to one side and convert them to the ways of the Lord Tenninch and so forever save their souls. Praise be to the dedication of our Lord in his relentless search for willing converts. The Sisters are proud to be amongst his congregation and look forward to taking their turn in the Promised Land (somewhere not far from The Broadway, North London).
And so, good followers on the T'interweb we come to the part of the blog where we have to mention the "C" word. I realise that using this word causes much distress with grown women being known to start a-weeping and a-wailing and contemplating homicide. Nevertheless, the C word has become a familiar, if unwelcome, aspect to the Lord's life and as such we must comment on it in the same vein as his taste in clothes, cars and music (proclaimers and Kaisers excepted). So, we all cheered when the Child fell down a burning lift shaft in eppy 2 of Casualty - only to be dealt a cruel blow by hearing that she is to be re-incarnated as a medieval fairy in Merlin. I will spare your feelings by not publishing the photographic evidence of this travesty - e'en though the Lord was on set to see his buddies Richard and Anthony do their stuff in La France. As one of our dedicated Acolytes commented - Lets hope the Dragon is hungry for small blondes!
Well thats about your lot for now. September is rapidly coursing towards October and the marriage of Sarah Jane. Before we know it, Xmas will be upon us and Kleenex will make their best profits in a decade.
Tennant Sisters, may your bloomers always need changing. x
Posted by Sister Chastity at 18:03