Saturday, 30 May 2009

The Lord bestows great gifts

Sisters and Acolytes

*Praise be to the Lord and his Ten-inch*. Instead of sitting around drawing his dole money since leaving the set of DW last week, it seems the Lord has found gainful employment already (take note Child!!!)

This week has seen a flurry of Google News alerts for the Lord fill the Sisters' inboxes.

Firstly we had news that the Lord's vocal talents were going to be used once more in a cartoon version of the Doctor (to keep the wee kidlets happy). We ignored the fact that the Child had thrown a temper tantrum in order to be given the part of Cassie Rice.

We were then treated to news that the Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* was to *guest star* in a two part SJA adventure in the Autumn. So more fun for the kidlets.... when was the Lord going to take the Sisters' request for 18+ rated work seriously?

The move towards such work was nearer on Thursday night when it was revealed via little feathered tweety things that the Lord was in the BBC studios in a red velvet jacket trimmed with holly. It seems Xmas comes twice a year for auntie beeb! The Lord was recording on Sir Stephen Fry's quite magnificent game show QI. It seems out Lord wasn't averse to making some smutty comments such as:

SF: It starts with the human scrotum
DT: Doesn't everything

I do hope not too much of his smut ends up on the cutting room floor.

Finally, the news we have all been praying for came on Friday and the T'interweb went into meltdown. The BBC and RSC to film Hamlet with the whole Stratford ensemble on location. To be shown on BBC2 later this year (aka xmas) and DVD available after air date. The Sisters are rejoicing... memories of our Stratford weekend are surfacing from the depths of our minds. What was it again that I shouted at the Stage Door when the Lord didn't come out???

We are imagining the barefoot tux; the red T-shirt with midriff showing, the tighty whity fencing jacket; the tied to a chair *wheeeeeeeeee*; the "cunt - try matters" quote (oh wouldn't that be a fantastic ring tone!!!!)

It is now the weekend and this Sister needs to take stock of the weeks events ... in a darkened room with Casanova and a spatula!
Tennant x

Monday, 25 May 2009

Bank Holiday Blogging

Sisters and Acolytes

So another bank holiday has come and gone and the Lord has bestowed gifts upon the sisterhood.

On Saturday our (Time) Lord *praise be his name and Teninch* surprised a DW fan with an unscheduled appearance on the Tardis set just to remind everyone that it is still HIS TARDIS until 2010. The sisters' hearts were a-racing when he poked his head through the door and laid a hand on the fortunate's shoulder. We notice that the spacehopper T shirt seems to be in favour at the moment. Maybe our Lord is pining for Derren Brown?

As an added bonus to set us up for returning to the world of work tomorrow, the BBC sneaked a programme narrated by the Lord into the schedules this evening. It was by chance that this Sister, keen on hearing the news of dirty deeds from the Palace of Westminster, remained on the flagship channel one to hear the Lord's words of wisdom. He was explaining about doctors and everest and pulmonary odema or something. I didnt pay much attention to the images of rugged men wrapped in anoraks, I was marvelling at how the Lord can make near death experiences seem very sexy! He should narrate more BBC programmes, or read the news, or be the voice of the speaking clock.... Ok, sorry getting a little carried away and hysterical now!

So, it would have been a very acceptable bank holibobs (we even got some sunshine) if it were not for a certain Child causing trouble. And I'm not talking about the Princess of Darkness for a change. No I am talking about The Child of the Devil, popping up and spoiling the fun for everyone. Firstly she tags along on a boys night out in Cardiff. There is John happily shaking his booty for all to see, being supported from the balcony by best mate David and who is seen loitering in the dark? Yes, you guessed it, the blonde bimbo herself, looking less than impressed at the Lord making a fool of himself in a Team Barrowman T shirt and waving like a mad fanboi when the spotlight picks him out of the crowd!

As if this were not enough, we then hear news that she is to *star* in a new Doctor Who animated adventure with our Time Lord. As Jenny? I hear you asking. No, Jenny is clearly been left behind in time and space, abandoned, unloved, unwanted *snigger snigger* The Child is portraying a character called Cassie Rice - sounds like number 56 from my local chinese restuarant! Is this her swan-song? Will the Lord finally realise that she is leaching the life, the career and (as evidence from the Baftas would indicate) the awards from Him?

Sisters and Acolytes the time has come to pray for the Lord like you have never prayed before. Spatulas in hand I call to you to kneel before the 40" altar and chant with me

*Ditch the Child*
*Ditch the Child*
*Ditch the Child*

Lord the Sisters are waiting for you .....


Saturday, 16 May 2009

How quickly the Mighty Ten-Inch doth fall

Sisters and Acolytes

As we near the magical date of 22 May when the Lord of Time *praise be his name and teninch* will rise into the sky and transform into a floppy haired toddler, pictures emerge of how the Lord's life is undergoing a radical change.

On Thursday, our Lord Teninch is snapped emerging from F*cking Gordon F*cking Ramsey's place at F*cking Claridges clad in the Holy White Pinstripe Jacket being pursued relentlessly by the paps of her Majesty's Gutter Press. You will be pleased to see, Sisters, that as he is chased down the street, he does not stop to retrieve a Child, so either she was home in bed as it was a school night, or he was happy for her to be trampled by the photographers! Either way, it is a result!

Merely one day later, another picture emerges showing that the Lord is not adjusting well to the thought of life after *Who*. This picture shows our Lord, clearly the worse for drink, trudging the streets of Cardiff looking for where he parked the TARDIS.

It appears that he is about to revisit the dodgy curry he had in the Raj Mahal an hour earlier with the (female) producer of a quaint US show on Public Broadcast Service channel. She was impressed with his ability to *nail* his characters and he was persuaded to cross the pond by her promise to line up a whole new female payroll in Virginia.

We trust our Acolytes in the colonies will repay our generosity in the past, by uploading any visions and moving images of our Lord which appear on their screen to the sacred You-don't-Tube in the Fall.
Tennant (for now) x