Monday, 11 August 2008

Something wicked this way drove past Sister C...

Sisters, we have heard Sister C's full and frank confession and we now pray for her 'depraved' soul and destroyed bloomers. I was glad to learn of her safe return to us after our beloved drove past her in the devils chariot as he was in muchness of a haste to return south and pay the babysitter. (Bet you wished you had a Tardis now!) Indeed the instrument of idle gossip was working overtime outside the exit of luvviness until we heard that the great book had been signed by our love. Infact during the act of drive-by said instument was in meltdown as the tale was sent to the far flung corners of Limerick and Miseryside.

She has seen our beloved address the great unwashed of Shakeyland and she marvelled at words of ol' Will's wisdom, spoken with such skill that she has decided to make the pilgrimage once more with the sisterhood this November. Indeed this joyous day has known no ends; drinking in the sisterhood base camp for the November pilgrimage, wandering around Shakeyland per chance for a bit of 'Lad spotting'.

I am concerned over the mental state of our Lord as the gutter press have visions showing him seemingly walking into a red phone box..... we need to remind our beloved that he is infact a Lord of Time and not a man of steel - for he is some cheap hamburger a go-go land creation that pales into comparision next to a Timelord. And what of the not so buxom wench that walks at his side? Was our beloved displeased that she had forgotten to put a skirt on before they left the house as body language would tell that this is not a couple who are luuuuuuuuurrrrrrrved up. It'll all end in tears......

Come sisters, your Count - ry matters. Let us pray.

Novice Strumpet - why have you not posted your confession this week? Make a hasty retreat and watch Blackpool as punishment.

Tennant x


Amy said...

What sin would one have to commit before they were given Casanova (and a very cold shower) as penance, pray tell?

Sister Chastity said...

AMY - Welcome to Pervitude :)

The sisters have a strict tariff of punishment for sins of the flesh and mind: for example:

1) Failure to observe evening worship - 3 hail Lord 10"s and one episode of DW (not the Doctor's Daughter)

2) Dancing to the devil's music (eg the 'Loife boys) - 1 hour scouring T'interweb for new visions of the Lord and watching Secret Smile

3) Not having lustful thoughts of the Lord at least 60 times a day - Watching the entire series of Blackpool in one sitting

In order to be awarded Casanova as penance, you will need to have done something VERRRRYYYY VERRRYYYYY bad indeed - such as considered buying a devil's motorhome (AKA Toymota Prius)

Notwithstanding the above, you can also be rewarded for excellence in Pervitude. Secret Smile would be a Bronze medal, Casanova a Silver medal and Blackpool, of course, is equivalent to an Olympic Gold Medal.

So the sisters suggest that you aspire to the highest level of Pervitude rather than us have to punish your sinful thoughts!!

Tennant xxx

Sister Burnaholeinmyknickers said...

Tennant to that!!!