Friday, 18 September 2009

Sartorial elegance...?






Sisters, Acolytes and stubble lovers of the T'interweb,

The leaves are turning golden, the nights are closing in and the weather has turned colder so I thought we all needed a bit of Gorgeous Lord Tenninch to cheer us up.

Firstly, a pic from his recent Tour de Force on the otherwise dreadful Christian O'Connell Solution show wearing a very familiar flowered shirt. You may notice however, that the Lord's shirt is even more tight fitting than usual. Whilst the glimpse of flesh from between buttons is most pleasing to my eye, it does lead me to wonder whether our Lord has been partaking too freely of the harvest festival offerings left for *resting* actors at the Church of the Latter Day Luvvies - aka the Ivy. If that is not the reason, then maybe he forgot to turn the washing machine down after boil washing the Child's nappies and bibs and shrank his best shirts. This could also explain why he was spotted in North London last week wearing an old grandad cardi which could only have been purchased in the nearest Help the Aged charity shop.

Moving swiftly past the latest fashion disaster, earlier this week I stumbled upon a sight so stunning that it left me in need of a nebuliser and several pairs of new bloomers. The pictures show the Lord preparing to preach to the great unwashed in LA LA Land. As you can see, his words of wisdom are written on parchment and he is sitting in the Great Wooden Throne of Hollyweird awaiting the arrival of the masses.

The pictures also show our Lord hanging around the back door of some hostelry or den of ill repute. Presumably, this was so that he could take the ladies of the night to one side and convert them to the ways of the Lord Tenninch and so forever save their souls. Praise be to the dedication of our Lord in his relentless search for willing converts. The Sisters are proud to be amongst his congregation and look forward to taking their turn in the Promised Land (somewhere not far from The Broadway, North London).

And so, good followers on the T'interweb we come to the part of the blog where we have to mention the "C" word. I realise that using this word causes much distress with grown women being known to start a-weeping and a-wailing and contemplating homicide. Nevertheless, the C word has become a familiar, if unwelcome, aspect to the Lord's life and as such we must comment on it in the same vein as his taste in clothes, cars and music (proclaimers and Kaisers excepted). So, we all cheered when the Child fell down a burning lift shaft in eppy 2 of Casualty - only to be dealt a cruel blow by hearing that she is to be re-incarnated as a medieval fairy in Merlin. I will spare your feelings by not publishing the photographic evidence of this travesty - e'en though the Lord was on set to see his buddies Richard and Anthony do their stuff in La France. As one of our dedicated Acolytes commented - Lets hope the Dragon is hungry for small blondes!

Well thats about your lot for now. September is rapidly coursing towards October and the marriage of Sarah Jane. Before we know it, Xmas will be upon us and Kleenex will make their best profits in a decade.

Tennant Sisters, may your bloomers always need changing. x

10 comments:

Delicate One said...

Oh...

The shirt of much tightness makes me happy, and if the dear one has been partaking of too many meals out, a tad more of him to love is most welcome. For let us face it, he is hardly a big lad and the cold winter is coming, as you said. However, I feel the boil wash scenario is more likely - he did mention it was his favoured shirt and that it had shrunk in the wash.

His vision in black was also most welcome, as that is one of my favoured shirts and black does suit him (I cite the recent appearance in the Masterpiece promotional film as evidence) It warmed the cockles of my heart (and many other places.)

As for other matters touched on, I cannot comment as I have taken a vow of silence about such things - it is best for everyone (especially me) However, I will say that I was quite looking forward to Merlin. Oh dear.

Carole said...

Lo' my bloomers have combusted and the others are in the wash over the many visions of Our Lord...i may in future need to buy in bulk!
I may partake of a sermon or two from our Lords father this Sabbath...my local place of worship has undergone refurbishment and Thy Father is a guest speaker...if i can persuade mt younger sibling to accompany me there,i shall be blessed in his prescence.
As for Merlin...yes,oh dear...may the Dragon not suffer any stomach upset while devouring the fairy.
I have not made a vow of silence.I must do my duty to thy Sisters and Acolytes.

Delicate One said...

^

Oh, my vow of silence is not for sake of certain people, but mainly for myself. I find I am prone to shouting foul words at the computer or TV screen, and my neighbours are becoming worried. Therefore, for sanity sake, I try to avoid the subject. Although I do vent when needed...

Sister Shagwell said...

Hail, oh devoted ones. The Lord is indeed a vision in all his assorted apparel. Some of it is questionable, but if there is stubble present on the Holy face he will be forgiven - just!

The most Holy vision in black did cause this Sister to be confined for many hours with spatula and undertake numerous extra bloomer washes. I was glad to hear that he personally found the time to loiter at the rear entrance of a house of ill repute to save the wretches of the night, and showing them the glories of the 10"

The week of visions was somewhat marred by the appearance of "it" wearing Tinkerbell's cast off. I believe that the Lord had travelled to Frog land looking for a bit of a giggle - and found it. He is greatness untold; asking his friends to partake in a little fantasy for her, thinking she had landed work. Bless him.

Tennant x

Carole said...

While in the prescence of Our Lord's father on Sunday morning...while he led the congregation in prayer,i orayed that thy Father would gude his son (Our Lord 10")from the wrong path and lead him to the light that is our Sisters and faithful Acolytes..i can only hope that they could be heeded to soon and he comes to join our fold!
At the end of his sermon,this lowly Acolyte was blessed to touch and shake hands with thy Father...as my Sisterly friend told me...it has touched the Lords botty as a baby and wiped away teenage tears.
'Blessed are the Sisterhood'

fiatpanda said...

I have a recurring nightmare. Well, I say it's a nightmare, it's kind of a nightmare/dream (as in "no" means "yes" sort of thing). Well, anyway, it's where I walk into a darkened room, through a door which suddenly locks behind me, and I realise that it's full of your readers.

Sister Chastity said...

Dear Sister and Acolytes

It would appear that our penchant for sleepwalking has returned. This time we have lured FiatPanda away from the security of her night-time cotbed and enticed her into a darkened secluded room, there to torment her night after night with our bloodthirsty and depraved blog convos. Its all rather *Bradford in her Dreams* if you ask me.

All I can say is "WELL DONE LADIES!" Keep it up and we will be rewarded in Crouch End by the Lord himself before the year is out!

fiatpanda said...

"her"? "HER?"

I'm clearly a "he" - look!

Sister Chastity said...

FiatPanda

So you are Captain Slow! Sister Shagwell was correct.

Look where btw? Your profile isnt available.... Come Out Come Out wherever you are......

Sister Shagwell said...

Sister, I think Fiatpanda would enjoy being locked in the room with the Sisterhood and their spatula collection. However I do not think that he can measure up to the glories of the 10", or he may expire with a smile on his face as he tried to compete.

Be nice Sisters and Acolytes, the wee mite has been beseiged with many tweets from Mr & Mrs Aggro on Twitter, who were most displeased that Fiatpanda had been toying with them. It did make for much amusement on Friday eve.

Fiatpanda, the Sisterhood welcome you here anytime, especially if you are Scottish, stubbly, skinny and had access to a TARDIS...If you happen to own 10" we may even forgive your bad taste in fashion.

Pray Siters.
Tennant x