Saturday, 11 October 2008

A Plethora of Pervitudiness (Pervitudity?)

The Sisters gathered around the 40" altar last night to:

  • Perve our (Time) Lord,
  • Plan for our Shakey pilgrimage; and
  • Plot our revenge upon those who seek to emulate and immitate us.
Our perving proved very fruitful. Many new visions have emerged from the Door that leads to the Thrust Stage. Some very bloomer-damaging moving images have also been captured on instruments of idle gossip and posted to the nefarious video website known as Youtube (or in Sister Burny's case You-can't-tube). Many splendid hours of research was undertaken by Sisters Chastity and Shagwell to discover the best place to stand at the barrier and the best approach to take to ensure a suitable response from our Lord (trade secrets I'm afraid).

Plans are taking shape for the pilgrimage. The days (and nights) are being planned with military precision - 14 hundred hours, check in; 17 hundred hours have showers and decorate self with war paint; 19 hundred hours be scared out of our tiny minds; 21 hundred hours partake of satay chicken and prawn crackers. Sometime in the early morning I believe we will be opening the voddy and perving DI Carlisle (if not in the flesh, then most definately on the shiny round discs that show moving pictures).

Our hearts were gladdened by the news that Sister Chastity's letter has been received and responded to by the Lord. He knows we are coming! Her signed Hammy pic has been reverently placed with her other sacred relics collected over the past years.

Sister Shagwell's recent audience with the Right Honorable Mr R T Davies also proves that the Sisters are becoming increasingly well connected. Congratulations to the Sister on her gold star from the head of DW!

So the night was only marred by the disappointment that while the Sisters are attracting attention across the web, it seems that we are being imitated and our name is being taken in vain. This has caused some slight discord in the Order and we have set Sister Burnaholeinmyknickers on the case of these imposters and tricksters. Leave no stone unturned Sister in rooting out these unbelievers!

Until next week. May the Lord be with you and fill you with his soul and his seed.

Tennant x

1 comment:

Sister Shagwell said...

Sisters, I am back amongst you after my abandonment with the Novice in AOHELL wilderness. For 24 hours we were unable to see the most holy of visions but we were not deterred and worshipped at the 40" altar for many hours.

I am worshipping the good book Blackpool and will endeavour to worship the holy visions to the end, or un til "always something left to remind me"

I see the good Royal of Mail has made haste with parcels of good news. Our Lord has signed a vision which is now placed upon the holy shirine, next to the 40" altar, AND he knows the sisterhood will be worshipping from the grubby, longed-necked swimmy thing during the weekend of All Hallows. I am certain that our fellow Sisters of Pyroville will make a brief appearance that eve.

As stated I was granted an audience with the Mind of Greatness, during a gathering in Manc chester. He did indeed bestow upon me a gold star as I dobbed in the mathematical one. He is a genius and long may he continue to bestow the kingdom of greatness such visionary delights that may entice our Lord to give his attentions.

May the visions of our Love be forever more etched on your eyeballs.

Tennant X
PS... Now go contribute to the great works of ACIR, or whatever it is called. Our beloved asks you to be involved and you wouldn't want to disobey a directive, would you????

PPS... We are the original and the best!