Friday, 13 February 2009

Hell and Damnation


Sisters et al,


The Lord has chosen to test my faith this week. I hope that I did well in my dealing with the series of trials and tribulations that he sent to me over the last days. If more trials continue into next week, I will know that I am not yet the complete Sister of Pervitude that the Lord wants of me. On the other hand, if the trials cease and my world returns to some semblance of normality, I will know that I have passed and lived up to his high expectations of the Sisterhood. I will be several steps nearer to having the Lord reward me in person for my faithfulness and fortitude. In celebration, I swear that I shall be a faithful sister and perve the Lord for 2 hours every evening and all day Saturdays and Sundays.


I must confess that there were times in the last week that I wondered if the Lord *praise be his name and 10"* had abandoned me. Perhaps in his sojourn in Dubai he had become distracted by the sight of the deadender in a bikini and could no longer hear my worship... maybe he was too busy building sandcastles with the Child... Whatever the cause, i am hoping that he returns his attention back to the Sisterhood with all indecent haste and eases my current troubles.


Until next week sisters.... may all your troubles be 10" ones...


Tennant x

14 comments:

Sister Shagwell said...

Sister, indeed your week has been troubled and you nearly wandered from the path of pervedom. But never fear, our Lord 10" (Praise be upon his name and 10") will never abandon you, and nor will your Sisters. He maybe many miles away "servicing" the local talent but he hath not forsaken you.

Upon his return to our little land, (...to England. Wheeeeeee!!!) he will issue sacred words upon parchment and dispatch them to you post haste. I am sure that this will be your resolve to be the best Sister you can and that it will help to raise the 10" when required of you.

Now make haste to your local hostelry and partake of fine wine,song and men of the opposite sex, for this is the night of St Giacomo Casanova. Patron Saint of fooling around. This Sister will once more descend to her local in order to find out who was foolish enough to have left the rose upon my step this fair day.

I shall continue to pray for your return to pervedom.

Tennant x

Sarah said...

Dear Sisters and Acolytes,

I come here to share some true concern, and when i say true, i mean true...
While dutifully roaming the World Wide Web in search of new visions of our Lord, i came across the last homemade video he did while filming the new Doctor Who episode... and i was in shock !! He really did look exhausted and soooo skinny !!
Remembering DI Carlisle's love for pastries, i think the sisterhood could consider sending the Deadender a chocolate cakes recipes book or something along that line... ( Together with death threats if she doesn't take care of the Lord properly )
Thoughts ???

Acolyte Jealousy said...

Sisters, I have a different explanation for our Time Lord's look of exhaustion. He is searching for us and doesn't know it. I had a Holy Vision last night while I slept and have posted it on my blog for all to partake in (it is quite strange). He was quite clear in my dream. Perhaps he is searching our ranks to find a replacement for the Deadender and the Child. His searches could be taking a toll on his already full schedule, so we must continue to do what we can to have him turn his eye towards us.

Sarah said...

Dear Acolyte Jealousy,

I've just read your Vision... Lucky you, i can't wait for my turn to come ! :)
On a more serious note, i can't help but notice the "help me" call that the Lord is desperatly sending through this vision...
The repeated "Mc Donald" references express, without a doubt, his urgent need for a couple of hamburgers... and the fact that you see him with no legs at a point of your vision can only mean one thing : Our Lord is merely vanishing into thin air !!! If we don't do anything, he will just disappear and all that'll be left of him will be an empty sripey suit...
I won't allow that to happen !! From now on, I'll be keeping a plate of lasagnas under my pillow for him !!!!

Carole said...

I have a 'frontal' pic of the one shown..a bit smaller,i think..how do i post?

Sister Chastity said...

Carole,

Sadly the way the blog is administered, only full Sisters can post pics etc. However, if you would like to email me your pic I will be more than happy to post its loveliness for all eyes to worship in the coming week.

Send it to cassandrakitten1999@hotmail.com

Acolyte Lithium of the Order of St Judes said...

Revered Sisterhood, I too have had a vision and have posted it on my blog.
Behold!!
http://proudloony.blogspot.com/

Acolyte Jealousy said...

Sisters, I realize this might be a bit of blasphemy but I have come to the realization that I prefer the vampire to Cedric simply because I fancy the actor with an American accent. It then came to my attention that while I adore our Time Lord and his English accent, I enjoy him far better in his native Scottish. So, I can only hope that he will do something, someday with an American accent so I might see if my head and bloomers explode simultaneously. Then again, if the sisters know of a work of the Lad's that has him doing an American accent I think I'll happily curl up with that as soon as possible. Guidance please?

Sister Shagwell said...

Acolyte Jealousy

Our Lord 10" (Priase be upon his name and 10") has indeed tried his best to speak in tongues of those who reside in hamburger a go-go land. You can hear these words of wisdom upon the sacred book of audio known as the Resurrection Casket. However be advised tjat the Lord's attempt at speaking hamburger-y are a bit lame!

Now please excuse me as the call to evening pervedom has been given. Tonight's sermon comes from Smith & Jones.

Tennant x

Acolyte Lithium of the Order of St Judes said...

Sisters, our Lord hath spake in the American tongue in a play called Lobby Hero back in 2002 and behold it was so good, he was nominated for an Olivier Award for his role as Jeff.

Praise be the Sisterhood and our 10" :)

Acolyte Jealousy said...

Alas my searches have proven fruitless. My local library does not have the audio book and neither does my local bookstore. A search of Youtube turned up no results for our Time Lord in the recommended play. Holy Jihad upon living across the pond from the Lad.

Persephone said...

Acolyte Jealousy, I'm afraid I don't think much of your research skills. All I did was type "Resurrection Casket" at YouTube and a playlist with the entire novel appeared. Where's your determination, woman?

Acolyte Lithium of the Order of St Judes said...

Thou couldst also try UK Amazon who transport such wondrous visions and tantalising treats to the ear to faraway shores including the Land of Oz with expeditious haste. More than I can say for the revered noses of red. *sigh* :(

Praise be the Sisterhood :)

Acolyte Jealousy said...

I did not know you could get Resurrection Casket on youtube. Now that I know, I will modify my worship schedule tonight. I have not spent much time on youtube in the past but will certainly browse the files more frequently.

Unfortunately my husband does not appreciate my buying sprees so obtaining my own personal copy from amazon is just out of the question. An acolyte has to respect and obey her husband even if it prevents a more varied worship experience of the Time Lord.