Sisters, Acolytes and followers,
News has reached us that the publicity machine for one of the Lord's great works is starting to swing into action. Tomorrow, the wondrous pamphlet the Radio Times (other listing magazines are available but i wouldn't bother) has printed the Lord's name on it's front cover to ensure that an additional 100,000 copies are bought by hormonal women who are gagging for news of the Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* to break the drought since he disappeared from the 40" altar last New Year.
It seems Auntie Beeb is planning the Autumn Schedules and Single Father will be broadcast to the great unwashed sometime during the season, though naughty auntie is teasing us by not providing a date as yet. As we know the Lord is a media whore when it comes to publicising his new shows and I am wondering (in the absence of Wossy) where he might turn up... BBC Breakfast... GMTV... The One Show... Loose Women? No, not the last one I think, far too tempting for the ten-inch!
This expection is some small consolation for hearing that he has been replaced in Retreat, though I was never keen on that story. I do hope that this means that he has some new project lined up from September, otherwise I fear it will be back to School Runs and watching wannabe-mummy-in-law in panto with her toyboy husband. Oh Lordy!
And as the heavens open once more above the Isles that we call British, I wish all our followers a lovely Summer Bank Holiday (or whatever the equivalent may be around the globe).