Dear Sisters, Acolytes and Followers,
This day, the eleventh day of the eleventh month in the year of our TimeLord *praise be his name and teninch* Two Thousand and Ten will go down in the Annuls of the Sisterhood as one of the darkest of our tenure upon this fair land. Yes Sisters, this is the day that an image appeared on the world wide T'interweb confirming our worst fears to be true. Such image is reproduced (excuse the pun) at the end of this Blog to enable Sisters to gather such implements as may be necessary to scrape the retinas of all sane women before setting ones eyes upon the travesty of nature.
Of what can I be referring? What can be so terrible as to require such extreme precautions to be taken? What can have made the Sisters' blood run cold(der) this wintry evening?
None other than a image which seems to confirm that Our Wondrous Lord hath been purchasing and using an inferior brand of condoms which hath resulted in an accident of monstrous proportions. Either that or the Child has put a pin through the packet. Whichever the reason, it seems that the Child has been the recipient of the blessed gift of the Lord's Sperm in such quantity as to render her with child. A gift I might add that the Sisters themselves had been preparing for these many long nights alone in their bare, spartan cells, with only a DVD of Blackpool for company.
Having gotten over the initial turmoil and trauma of such a sight, a series of questions have come to the forefront of our minds. Such as:
1) As it appears he is following his political allegiences and like Red Ed, not marrying the strumpet that is carrying his offspring, I wonder if this will also stretch to not being named on the birth certificate?
2) Will indeed he marry said Strumpet and will she walk down the aisle in virginal white or the more customary black? Will the wanna-be-inlaws insist on the film crew for 4 weddings be there as they were for their own wedding?
3) Will we have to put up with the Kiddies and the GM shippers gloating and cooing for the next 6 months?
All these questions and more will be answered in the realm of Social Media over the coming days and weeks. In the meantime, HOLY BOOK OF SUN and DAILY FAIL, pull your fingers out, this is a much bigger story that the XFactor rigged votes crap that has been adorning your front pages this week.
I can see it now
"EX-DOCTOR GETS DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER UP THE DUFF - friends of the couple say they are very happy though they have no plans to marry at this time. Georgia Moffett 25, trapped David Tennant, 39 whilst playing a bit part in the well loved Doctor Who series. Although her career has never taken off, she is happy to leach off the talent and charisma of her boyfriend. Her parents (wannabe luvvies Peter Davidson, currently starring in a west end musical alongside a dog and Sandra Dickinson currently doing Panto somewhere obscure) are said to be ecstatic that their daughter has finally landed the big fish. David's family refused to comment."
They say the darkest hour is just before dawn, let's hope the sun rises soon on a new day for the Lord.