Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Much ado about a Child, a forthcoming nuptual and a play

What a start to 2011 indeed Sisters....

The Lord and Child are apparantly "besotted" with each other and are planning to tie the knot in an unspecified location on New Year's Day scarcely less than a twelvemonth from now.

An unnamed "source" has spilled a few tasty morsels of this news to Her Majesty's Gutter Press and they have had a feeding frenzy which apparantly had greatly displeased the Lord. He has relayed a message to his fans via the DT forum that we are not allowed to speaketh about the forthcoming event, nor are we allowed to send any form of congratulatory statements as would be the norm in such cases. This doth appear to many, including the Sisters, to be somewhat over-reacting on the part of the Lord. In his attempt to maintain a clear line between his public persona and his private life, he is now starting to  look faintly ridiculous. When one of the Child's friends openly congratulates the Happy Couple on twitter and yet the Lord refuses to even acknowledge the fact of the engagement, one must wonder about their possible future together.

Neverthless, in these circumstances, as ever Lord, we will of course do your bidding. We are more than happy to ensure that this website, in due deference to your Lordly words, will mention your engagement no more. Take note please Acolytes.

That will not stop us however, observing your life, private or public, with the usual irreverence that you would expect from us! We have been accused over the years of not being "proper or true fans". As Fan is derived from the word Fanatic meaning "to be marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion", then yes wholehearteded we are NOT proper fans! We believe Lord, that you respect followers of your work who can see your mortal foilbles and hold a mirror up to reflect those back to you over those sycophantic fans who simply stare open mouthed and glassy eyed and believe that every word you speaketh and every move you maketh is deserving of a reverent sigh or (god forbid) a SQUEEE!

And so on to the really exciting announcement that you were prepared to make this week - on BBC breakfast news no less - about a new project with the lovely, funny, talented, (ginger) Ms Tate.

It seems that as a dynamic duo, you are both so powerful within the Industry that you can raise the funding and persuade a theatre to put on a play by the Bard directly in Londoom's End of West without having to tour, or go to an off-Londoom venue for previews, market testing etc. Mr Cameron Mackintosh has given over his lovely Wyndhams theatre on the road of Charing Cross for 6 months for you to declaim the Bard's words as Benedick to Catherine's Beatrice.

The Sisters, and quite a few Acolytes I do believe, were amongst the first in the queue for tickets on Saturday morn. Despite the meltdown of the website and the phone line, tickets have been secured for two audiences with the Lord over the Summer vacation. Preparations are being made for such a memorable occasion and of course you will all be kept informed of how these preparations are progressing over the coming months.

Finally we are tantalised this week with a rumour being put about that the Lord has been offered a part in the fantasy classic The Hobbit. This rumour has been circulating for some time now, but the revered IDMB is showing the Lord as Lord Thranduil. We have long considered the Lord would look mighty fine with long hair and pointy ears shooting a long bow from horseback. Our fantasies may come true in 2011.

Keep the Faith followers, 2011 is gonna be a bumpy ride!



Anonymous said...

Well, if we are giving entries from the dictionary...

Dictionary Meaning and Definition on 'Besotted'

Besotted Meaning and Definition from WordNet (r) 2.0

besotted adj : very drunk [syn: blind drunk, blotto, crocked, cockeyed, fuddled, loaded, pie-eyed, pissed, pixilated, plastered, potty, slopped, sloshed, smashed, soaked, soused, sozzled, squiffy, stiff, tiddly, tiddley, tight, tipsy, wet]

Besotted Meaning and Definition from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Besotted \Be*sot"ted\, a. Made sottish, senseless, or infatuated; characterized by drunken stupidity, or by infatuation; stupefied. ``Besotted devotion.'' --Sir W. Scott. -- Be*sot"ted*ly, adv. -- Be*sot"ted*ness, n. --Milton.

Besotted Meaning and Definition from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Besot \Be*sot"\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Besotted; p. pr. & vb. n. Besotting.] To make sottish; to make dull or stupid; to stupefy; to infatuate. Fools besotted with their crimes. --Hudibras.

Oh, I feel mean now...


Acolyte McSkinny said...

Another great blog...as per usual!
What,in my opinion is also a bit pathetic is when you are a member of Twitter,yet not a fan of the Child or her work,her Spooky,congratulatory friend who likes a bit of Lip Service (also gushes her love for the Child and wishes her goodnight)blocks you from following her (not that she's remotely interesting in the first place) as many people have found out.Patheitc indeed!

woosters said...

This is why I love your blog - the very fact that you are NOT "proper" fans...Plus being improper when it comes the Lord is MUCH more fun ;) While I do worship the Lord (praise be his name and his ten-inch), he has participated in the odd stinker or two.

I am filled with both envy and excitement that the Sisters will have audience with the Lord this summer.

Anonymous said...

Love the blog as usual . Hobbit seems a bit of a stretch now methinks what with the 'besotted' couple wanting to rush down the aisle and all. Then there is also the other rumour of yet another little slip up from the child ( mean 2 slip ups is just well dare I say deliberate)which will keep the Lord in Londoom forever which I will hate because he needs to spread his wings and work with lots of different folk.
Juliet x

Acolye McSkinny said...

Pray tell of this 'slip up' by the Child...we are intriged!

Anonymous said...

slip up meaning of the birth control kind. If sightings and mutterings are to be believe

Anonymous said...

Well sisters its happened. Always knew it would. The Lord has got to change every single aspect of his life for the little madam. She of course as we all know has planned this from the beginning. Like one of the tweets one of you wrote (sorry I read them but havent a clue how to tweet) what a numptie. Will he ever wake up - probably but too late now. Will he be happy - probably not (except for a while with all the excitement and of course wanting a baby). Will he have a glittering career - hope so but well this is when he should be reaching the heights and he is reaching for nappies instead.
The father in law prob had the cigars bought from the beginning.
Keep the faith sisters. Although it does seem our Lord is maybe not as intelligent as we supposed

Acolyte McSkinny said...

Our Lord has been well and truly knobbled.The Child knew if she bided her time all would be hers.

Acolyte Martha said...

It falls to me to me the lone voice of dissent. Sisters, I see this not as a reason for wailing and rending of clothes. Examine the details. His reaction to the pregnancy? Not to immediately propose and settle down, but to hop on a plane to the US for two months solo, hare it to Uganda, then accept another film role (United) away from home, not to mention his partying in London. Planned pregnancy my foot. What a coincidence, someone leaks a story to the tabloids saying they're engaged and planning a long engagement just days before the pregnancy news blows. Who waits till month 7 to get engaged and move in? (Tweets show he was still living in t'End Christmas week.) Not that I am suggesting the engagement story is untrue and planted in the tabloids to turn a potentially nasty and damaging story into a sweet positive one, but NYD 2012 is a long way off. A play may mean him staying home for 6 months, but it's still a pretty gruelling schedule and rehearsals start weeks after the baby is due. No paternity leave for this one.

Acolyte Martha said...

I am sure he is thrilled to be having a child and that a child, which by his own past comments he desires, will be a blessing and wonder for him. But I see no evidence he is bowing to pressure to settle down or abandon his career dreams. If anything I am surprised how ruthless he is being. Many of us assumed if she had an 'oopsie' he'd run her up the aisle straight away and make sure his commitment to them was known. Not leave her alone almost the entire pregnancy while fans stare at her bump and wonder, 'Where's the daddy?' His best friend once said, "Steeliness is his defining quality." He probably will take fewer jobs involving long overseas stints, but I do not believe he would let a baby halt his career plans, or that he would stay in a relationship or marry just because of a child. The nonsense from the old Fail article so many took to heart of him wanting to recreate his parents' relationship already is proven untrue.

To be honest he's never struck me as someone for whom relationships are that important, work and friends are his passions. They have spent hardly any time together the past 2 1/2 years. No reason they can't continue as they have done, him working and pursuing his career ambitions, which surely are ambitious and multitude, her staying home with the baby and daddy's money.

Anonymous said...

also I think she is way more than five months gone; shes probably dumped the elf and visited him on set somewhere.
One rag states they have been trying for a baby . Sorry dont believe it or the new house etc would have come sooner. I think one of them was trying for a baby maybe after reading his script for single father.
The Lord is looking somewhat a fool.

What on earth is she wearing in the pics? The small one loves to flaunt her legs

Anonymous said...

Well it looks like for once it's the lords side that has spilled the beans! The paisley express has been spoken to by his holiness Sandy McDonald. Seems he likes the child!....amazing....?!?!

Anonymous said...

Notice the Rev said about finding out over the Xmas period when the smug DJ said he had known a while and very obviously so did her family. Surely his family havent been last to know
The new spin seems to be its somethign they have been trying for all along (yeah right)
The way he has handled the whole thing I am afraid is not something I could ever admire him for. The gutter press getting the information its treating his fans like we are all idiots
The fact that he is forever to be part of that clan is something that also fills me with dread. I mean how can he think so highly of puff daddy davison?? Hes such a nasty piece of work.
Also the five month gone is a load of old bollocks shes way further on than that

Nat said...

I would expect they are keeping to a line. There is no way they only just found out over the holidays. They knew, more then likely, but are just saying that. Though some families to like to tell people face to face and if DT hasn't been to Scotland since he found out, months ago, he might have decided to wait till then when he saw them again. Possibly. I agree though that she is much further along though then the papers are reporting.

Sister Shagwell said...

Puff Daddy... I am so loving that! He'll be so puffed up he'll need bursting!

Let me oblige.... T*aT!

Anonymous said...

I will never be disappointed with DT - I think he's lovely, honourable, intelligent and no dummy - but I am alarmed by the way this whole saga [engagement, baby news] has been handled. Whoever advised him, or if it's all his/her/their own doing, it's a major Fail. The backlash is SO ugly at various places, and the way the press is snidely stressing 'recently announced engagement' in conjunction with mentioning her being over half way along with a baby - honestly, I feel bad for him.

He deserved so much better at this particular time in his life than rumour, innuendo, and people counting on their fingers. I could howl, frankly!

I want him to learn from this that there are better ways for high profile people to handle the release of personal information while still managing to retain their dignity and privacy. Salting 'nuggets' of diverse information [personal and professional] in the media at closely timed intervals is not the way I'd have chosen to do it.

I wish him - and GM too - all the best in the coming months. I really do,

Anonymous said...

I'm finding the whole thing a bit tawdry, to be honest, what with bloody CoC (great initials for him) giving it large on the radio, when DT himself has declined to comment. With friends like that...

I'm all for him being private and I can see why he wants such tight control, so I have problem with him refusing to talk. But he needs to get his so called friends on the plan and ask them not to say anything too (especially on GM's side)

I will also add here that I so want him to be happy, and that if GM or her 'family' cause him any kind of heartache or hurt... Well, my opinion of them will be completely founded. I just hope that it's really really not and he will get the happiness he deserves.

Babe on Wheels said...

I feel as many of you do - he is a decent man who just wants to live his life as privately as possible. I won't comment on the distaff side.
I find it odd, too about DT's family but i'm sure Sandy is a decent and honourable man, which is why I'm not sure why he spoke to the press. Strange, too, that the pregnancy was kept so 'under wraps' but see above.
As for the pregnancy - I have no idea how far along she is but people seem to think around 5 months - let's just hope it doesn't interfere with his career. If he ends up in The Hobbit he'll no doubt have to go to NZ, which wouldn't be easy with a small kid.
I wish I could say all this wasn't getting me down but...
At least I don't feel bad saying what I think here, but I wish I didn't have a bad feeling about it.

Acolyte McSkinny said...

This Acolyte has been taken to her sickbed since the Sabbath so has been devoid of 'new' news from the Lords camp.
I still stand by my gut feeling...he's been taken for a ride and played right into the Child's hands.
The idiot!

Anonymous said...

CO'C seems to be yet another blabbermouth, there is no doubt. My OH suggested his comment was part of the 'strategy' for getting the news out there but I prefer not to think it was anything other than what we would expect of a lightweight like CO'C. At least the Lord's own true kind, his longtime friends and more intellectual luvvies in north Londoom, have not betrayed him at this difficult time, so far as I am aware.

Babe on Wheels said...

I just feel sorry for him if that's true - but we need to remember, painful though it may be, that he was talking about starting a family at the start of LAST year - I suppose he had to clear the decks a bit first.

I hope he hasn't been strung along; as I said, he's a decent man and doesn't deserve that. I guess if he has he's not the first to be trapped and if he is then sadly won't be the last. I guess we just have to wait and see.

I've gone through a lot of emotions over this and not many of them positive but I, and we, have to remember that there's nothing we can do about it - we just have to try to focus on stuff in our own lives, although for me that isn 't a picnic just now either!

Babe on Wheels said...

Oh and yes, I agree that this was handled very badly but I suppose it may have been, for him at least, an attempt to keep his private life private, which is admirable.

I wish everyone were as dignified about their lives - I just hope there isn't a backlash against him.

Acolyte McSkinny said...

I may be wrong but i feel the Lord is not exactly proud of himself and the predicament(or mess) he has got into.
He should have realised that dating someone 'in the business' (particularly young,blonde,talentless and fame/money hungry)is to be avoided.
Still the idiot!

Helen said...

No-one got anything to say about the pics (including one v intimate one with the baby - now removed) which were on the Daily Fail site, then (and other hangers on?!)

I do have to say that there is a lot of bitchiness with some of the comments on there - a bit uncalled for. Some of it is, anyway.

I mean, we can be lary, but even so...