Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Meanderings of a Sister at the close of another twelvemonth

 Speccy Love Pics....

So we are finally bidding a fond farewell to the twelvemonth of 2010 which has seen our Time Lord *praise be his name and Ten-inch* take his leave of the Tardis, venture less than successfully across the pond and end up doing some very dodgy sleb impressions on the fourth channel for a not-very-amusing quiz show hosted by an animated turd. It has certainly been a year of lows and even lowers for our Lord...a year not to remember too fondly perchance.

The Sisters too have suffered greatly this year. In May, the great unwashed of the UK did vote into Westminster the unholy alliance of Dave and Nick since when the Sisterhood has been subjected to many funding cuts and has had to make efficiencies. Gone is the golden cloth which is draped over the 40" altar, gone are the works of art depicting images of our Lord adorning the walls of the chapel of the faithful, gone also are the many images of our Lord cast in durable plastic with poseable arms and legs. Instead we are reduced to fashioning images of the Lord out of toilet roll holders and sticky back plastic as befits the Blue Peter generation. We do promise though that no matter how tough it gets in 2011, the front-line services provided by this Blog and on which so many vulnerable and needy females of the world rely will continue unabated and uncut!!

It is tradition at the end of a year to take some time to review the events of that year or the good works carried out by the Great and the Good. However, bearing in mind that Single Father is probably the Lord's the best of the year, I decided to break with tradition and instead I would take a fond look back at a decade of the Lord's sex life. Perhaps somewhere in North Londoom, the Lord is doing the same thing with a view to commencing 2011 footloose and fancy free once again. 

Anne Marie - the original blonde now married to a tall dark scot
Natalie - another blonde now shacked up with a tall dark shakespearean actor
Kiera - A bit off piste for the Lord - a brunette this time
Soppy Sophia - the posh blonde totty - ran away to the US; dumped by text
Jennie - the ever faithful fuck - buddy
Bethan - the *let me try a welsh non-actory-type* blonde
Jennie - Back to the fuck - buddy again to keep the Ten-inch in shape
Kylie - We all know he did....

...which brings us to the Child, the elf and the wannabe-in-laws of whom I am loathe to speak on the Blog.

So to the Resolutions for the new year:

For the Sisters: Continue to unite red-blooded women everywhere in pervitude of the Lord Ten-inch. At the annual collective in the warmer months there will be much talk of Ten-inchs, sidies, stubble and chest hair.

For the Acolytes: Keep up the pervitudeness and spread the word to needy women at work, out shopping, cousins, aunties and even your granny. Let's get 100 Acolytes in 2011!

For the Lord: Get a decent job for fucksake!! - one that requires many sex scenes, nudity and wetness and dump the albatross round your neck or you'll never win another BAFTA.

And finally not in the words of Rabbie Burns....

Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,

an nivir brocht ti mynd?
Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,
an ald lang syn*?

Fir ald lang syn, ma jo,
fir ald lang syn,
wil tak a cup o kyndnes yet,
fir ald lang syn.

An sheerly yil bee yur pynt-staup!
an sheerly al bee myn!
An will tak a cup o kyndnes yet,
fir ald lang syn.

Tennant xxx

The TimeLord *praise be his name and Ten* logs onto
Blogger and gets a surprise!


Cindy said...

Yes, yes, yes! Happy New Year sisters and praised be his name and 10 inch!

Anonymous said...

How true Sisters. If the lord doesnt buck his ideas up soon he will be guesting on midsomer murders with the wannabe father in law. I think 2011 needs a fresh start for him without the leeches.
Happy New Year to all the Sisters and Acolytes


Anonymous said...

Perhaps Decoy Bride will prove The Lord's finest effort in 2010 (although we won't know this to be true until 2011.) This year of 2010 was difficult for many, The Lord (praised be his name and 10 inch!) included, it seems. We shall go forth from here into 2011 with hope of a better year for one and all.

A Happy New Year to all Sisters, Acolytes and Anonymouses amongst us.

Acolyte Bobbi of The Lone Star

Anita Marie said...

Happy New Years Sisters!

Acolyte McSkinny said...

May the New Year bring new beginnings for our Lord Teninch...in more ways than one.

Anonymous said...

With love and best wishes for the New Year to the Lord, the Sisters, Acolytes and Anons! May the Dear One Beloved of Us All [all hail his blessed smile and teninch] soon rise in glory on the 42" altar and cinema screen to reveal anew - to devotees and non devotees alike - his genius, intellect, talent, wit and terminal cuteness. Pairrsonally, I've Had Enough of the one dimensional amateurs and wannabees who are infesting the ent. ind. at present. Let us see and worship again the Divine Light of the Tennant for he is a Real Actor. A True Man.
Acolyte Agatha, still immured in Paisley-on-Sea

Anonymous said...


It's only a rumour at this stage, but Gallifrey Base and D_T on Twitter are both highlighting the rumour that DT and Catherine Tate are to play Beatrice and Benedict in London, between May and Sept, directed by the brilliant Mark Rylance!!!!!!! A commercial West End production, not one produced by RSC or NT.

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sister Chastity said...

Excitement indeed! Let's hope that these are not false rumours placed on the t'interweb just to excite and then thwart the delights of womankind. We will be monitoring the theatreland webbies with a close eye over the next few weeks to confirm the Lord's feet upon the Boards of the End of West. Indeed, Wyndhams theatrical palace is most commercial, currently playing host to that most comical of beings Mr Bill of the Bailey. Sadly however, this doth also bring a downside - the price of a ticket for any event which starreth the Lord and Ms Tate will be many golden coins more than the revered RSC doth charge the great unwashed. The Sisters may need to sell the family silver to purchase our seats. Still as L'oreal would say, He is so worth it!
Tennant x

Acolyte Martha said...

For all that is written about his love of young blonde bimb, uh, blondes, looking over your list that isn't really true. Anne-Marie is a natural brunette and was brunette when they dated, older than him, a proper serious non-famew****y actress, and was his longest romantic relationship to date, and they are still friends. He spoke in interviews about falling in love with her and wanting her to move to Stratford so they wouldn't be apart while he was away working. (Insert bitchy aside about how nowadays he seems to only accept jobs involving months away solo.) Jenny is a brunette, only 4 years younger, intelligent and successful professionally, and they have been practically inseparable and loyal friends for years. Arabella Weir he's been besties with since he was 23. How many young blondes have these woman seen come and go?

He appears so much closer to and happier around his friends than around the blonde du jour, and to spend much more time with them. He takes his friends to premieres, parties, awards, plays, festivals, etc etc etc all the time and they even go with him to promo appearances, sometimes a girlfriend (now and previous girlfriends) is there too but often it's friend(s) and no girlfriend, sometimes friend(s) and girlfriend, rarely girlfriend and no friend(s).

I don't care for the young blonde fetish but I respect a man who can maintain close lasting friendships with women and who appreciates intelligent, accomplished women regardless of looks or age.

Anonymous said...

So the child has got her prize (and the wannabees will be gleeful) The Lord being his usual private self has decided against an announcement but allowed the gutter press to leak it on his behalf possibly having been told by his new family that thats how its done . Oh dear. will this be swiftly followed by the stork.
The childs smirk will be even worse now
I hope he will be happy but well we shall see.

weedledeedle said...

Good Evening Sisters, not that the news of they day is good. So The Child has now got her mitts firmly and tightly upon Lord's Tenninch itself. Let us pray that our Lord will chance upon a Father of Salvation and will tell him not to go there. We can but hope.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to think she is genuine, but here's hoping he has the sense to get a pre-nup!

Anonymous said...

Well sorry I worship the ten inch but has he lost the plot . His romantic news of not being able to wait to tie the knot is leaked by a certain rag and confirmed by friend of the smirking child yet the Lord will not allow his ardent fans to post congrats to him because the news is private?????????? Does he realise how ridiculous this sounds . Could he not have leaked the news through to a less tacky rag and in a less tacky way
I think said wedding will also take place much sooner than next year - a little red herring there I bet.
Funny how hes in such a rush to marry his beloved after over 2 years and hardly spending time with her. I bet there will be no hopping around the globe anymore . Bet the child is wetting herself with excitement that she has played the game and won (however me sees rocky times ahead unless he decides to dumb down completely

sorry for the rant sisters keep the faith
Juliet x

Anonymous said...

He's doing Much Ado! Booked.

Guess with a baby he's not allowed to spend every moment jetting around the world anymore.

Didn't exactly look like a man who'd just had his proposal accepted by the love of his life, did he?

Sister Shagwell said...

I will just think of this nugget of news as a minor irritation - something like VD!

However, the Sisters are joyful as they have secured an audience with the Lord - Praise be his name and 10", during the summer months in the fair city of Londoom.

You are hereby given notice that the Sisters will once more be in the presence of greatness and the great unwashed.

Anonymous said...

Yes indeed, Sister Shagwell :) And a clutch of Anons and Acolytes as well! The Lord has smiled upon his favourites and saw that we deserved the reward of being summoned to an audience in His Glorious Presence, for an evening of merriment and the occasional tear, even if we must venture out into the bowels of Sin City to do so. Yea! ::capers madly about scullery, waving printed receipt for a tic in Stalls on a blessed date in early July.
Acolyte Agatha, Paisley on Sea

Anonymous said...

I'd bet every penny this announcement is the result of an unplanned pregnancy and that The Sun's source has the initials GM, PD or SD. He has worked non-stop always far away from London since March and when he is in London he is out all the time! The pregnancy rumors have been growing and growing and if they're true so has she. They need to get it out there that they're engaged before one of the tabs spills the beans. Think of the bad PR they'd both get if it came out he'd knocked up a girl with no plan to marry. The weirdly specific date is a long way off. Will it ever happen? This 'leak' establishes them in the eyes of the public/media as a committed couple, without him breaking his rule on talking about his private life. Once there is a baby no one will care if the 1/1/2012 wedding happens or is postponed indefinitely, and since he still hasn't even acknowledged this relationship openly, that protects him from future questioning. Very canny.

A baby is the biggest changing factor in a couple's relationship. To go from always having lived alone being workaholic jetting between film sets and solo trips to LA, out drinking or at the theatre concerts and parties every night, to living with a partner a newborn and 8-yr old is a massive change. This baby will either cement their relationship or drive them apart. Or they might decide they are happy the way they are, maintain separate homes and a mostly long-distance relationship.

Hooray for the theatre news though. If a baby keeps him on the London stage not LA doing crappy pilots and horror remakes it's all the best for us. Peace, Sisters.

Anonymous said...

Yea, verily! The acolyte contingent from The Lone Star State will journey across the pond to witness the lord and the fabulous CT treat upon the boards in mid-August. A dream come true!

Acolyte Bobbi of The Lone Star

Anonymous said...

Dear Anon, January 9, 10.24am, I think you may be my twin.

I just want David Tennant - whom I revere as an actor of rare and special talent and who seems like an intelligent, honourable man and a complete sweetie IRL - to be happy and contented whatever he does. That he's professionally prolific is a bonus for fans at the moment, but I think, for his own sake, he's going to have to slow down a little sooner or later. [Not just yet though, not just yet!]

Happen a major Shakespearean role in the West End is going to require some serious concentration by the Lord, and a massive commitment of his time, energy and focus, as these things always do, starting with rehearsals in April and going through to early September. Interesting.

I'm praying for all [whatever ALL may be] to be well and as He wishes it. Now and forever.

Anon here too

Anonymous said...

This whole thing stinks of GM and PD.I think this was all planned from the day PD did his stunt with our Lord of Time but He was dating Soppy back then so bided his time.The Child will have to cancel her Tax Credits now she is 'proposedly' going to be in the earning bracket of the rich(albeit from another source,she has never earned so to speak),yes,she has nabbed her money man.I think that the Lord will move from Crouchie and find lodging elsewhere with the Child and Elf.
I did notice on the tv interview with out Lord and his mate Catherine,that the Lord did look off camera quite a bit...no doubt the Child was onset.I for one would like to see the rock that she got...then agian,i'm just nosy!

woosters said...

Will anyone be journeying across the pond from the US to the UK to witness The Lord (praise be his name and 10 inch) in Much Ado. Desperate to go, but don't want to venture alone...