Friday, 22 August 2008

I return baring Spatulas........

My Dearest Sisters

I have spent many weeks in spiritual retreat, set adrift amongst many impure thoughts of Our Lord 10" ( Praise Be!). I fear I should be punished severely for my sins of partaking in these impure thoughts and not sharing them with my Sisters *bends over for punishment* (Oops! Sorry - slipped back into some of those thoughts again!)

Our Lord has indeed graced us lately with many visions of loveliness - and his appearance on stage will be viewed with solemn adoration by the SOP in November.............who am I kidding - it'll be spatulas and life boats at the ready!

Apologies, I allow my fanny to speak instead of my head - I fear my lady garden may require irrigation before I partake in any further prayer.

And so....I leave the altar with depraved thoughts again (many thanks to Sister Chastity for her many lewd descriptions of our Lord in action) but also with a promise that I shall commit these depraved thoughts to the blog!

And so my Sisters, I leave you with this picture (a firm SOP favourite Im sure you will agree!) and the assurances that this Sister will arrive for worship on time in the future!


Sister Shagwell said...

Praise be that you finally managed to get the Cillit Bang and spatula to release you from a lifetime of pervitude stuck to the sofa infront of the 40" altar.

We have dispatched Novice Strumpet to Gran Canaria to spread the word of our Lord, so far she has not been deported. However should she preach from the book of Blackpool we should expect her to return within the day.

Sister Chastity said...

I second Sister Shagwell's praise on your return to worship from your retreat. I trust that the rest has done you good and renewed your lust in the Lord.

I am sadly in my last week of summer holibobs and return to grind the wheels of industry next Monday. I shall be true to the sisterhood and bore the pants of my colleagues regaling them with tales from the bard of bare midriffs, lewd language and such depraved actions of a sexual nature that this sister was quite over'cum'!

In the meantime, I have penned a note to the Lord himself, expressing my true feelings on watching him perform on the stage of reflection. I hope to have a reply by the next time I visit the Temple in the Courtyard.

Tennant Sisters x

Sharon Brown said...

I'm glad you posted this picture on your blog. I have this picture along with 3 others, but have never had the balls to post it.