Thursday, 6 November 2008

Berowne, Hammy and full frontal thrusting. Act 1

Sisters, let me recall recent events...

Tis a week since we made the journey from the far flung corners of lil old Engerlaaand and the Isle of Emerald to converge upon Shakeyland. One by one the sisterhood arrived and made their way to the little shop in order to purchase items of a visionary nature before entering the grubby long necked swimmy thing and partake in numerous communal wine and voddys. Many hours of devoted contemplation took place and a plan of worship developed. Once the plan had been agreed the sisters staggered - sorry, walked back to their temporary holding cells for a brief moment of solitary contemplation with the spatula.

Darkness fell over Shakeyland and the sisters made their way to the ghostie tour in the hopes of sighting ol' Billy Boy seeing as it was All Hallows Eve when the veil between the living and dead is at its thinnest. Luckily Billy Boy didn't want to talk as this sister had a few choice words to say regarding the suffering his works have caused millions of children thoughtout the years. Our ghostie guide was also an undertaker during daylight hours and made it known on more than several occasions to Sister C and myself that he was laying with another woman... like that is going to stop us! The sisters felt overall that the only spirits present in the haunted house were safely inside Chastity and Shagwell!

We bid farewell to the ghostie guide and promptly made our way to a "withered spoon" were the sisterhood ate the last supper(of the night). We said (dis)grace before breaking of the chip and drinking more communal wine and voddy. Many discussions took place regarding our beloved and soon it was time for the sisters to make one of many pilgrimages toward the area where our Lord was addressing the great unwashed of shakeyland. We arrived at the gates of backstage to find that the barrier had not been erected therefore our love would not be coming amonst us with the sharpie that evening. (I suspect he might have been "bobbing" for apples). We stood for a few moments then decided to haul ass back to our holding cells.

As the sisters were also girly guides we were prepared with the instruments of idle gossip should the Lord decide to use the stealth mode that the devil's own chariot (penismobile) has installed. Alas, poor sisters, we were not rewarded. However news did reach our ears that our Lord's good father had come to pay call upon his youngest to check whether he was washing behind his ears.

It was at this point that Sister C felt she needed to preach the word of the Lord to all that reside in Waterside (that rhymes!) Some say many are still looking up some of the adjectives used. Indeed upon our arrival the sister was so overcome with great love for our Lord that she fell to the floor in adoration.

To be continued. ...

Tennant x

1 comment:

Sister Chastity said...

Sister S, How pleased I am that you have felt the touch of the muse and scribed the events of that fateful all hallows eve, for I fear that the spirit of our *time* Lord hast come unto me and removed all memory of the events after the *withered spoon*

I trust that I acted with suitable (dis)grace as befits a true Sister of Pervitude and that my ASBO is now winging its way towards the land of Thomas Hardy.

I have today, sent a Holy Communication to the Lord *praise be his name and 10"* via the Her Majesty's Post. It contains fine words, wonderful words, perfect words of the joy that the Lord brings unto us and entertains the hope that he might walk amongst us once again in the New of the Year.

I now return to my Sisterly duties looking forward to Act 2 and when the curtain rises on the Thrust Stage, may i recall his appendectomy scar in all its glory!

Tennant xx