Monday, 15 February 2010

The Lord searches for gainful employment


Firstly we give thanks for our recently joined acolytes. To the Sisters' surprise we have now reached a grand total of 60. It seems that the Lord continues to attract followers to His Church e'en though he is no longer providing personal sermons from the 40" altar. May our new acolytes gain some semblance of solace and comfort in the House of Pervitude whilst the Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* seeks gainful employment at the Gordon Brown Centre for Jobs in glorious Crouch End.

As you can see from above he is perusing daily London's Evenin' Standard for a reason to get dressed in the morning. So far he has been turned down for School Crossing Patrol Operative and Pizza Delivery Driver. His options are dwindling so the Sisters have stepped in to assist the Lord in his search.  

We have acquired, through the usual nefarious means, a copy of the Lord's latest CV which he has uploaded to We felt that a wider publication of His skills and experience might be help to find Him suitable employment.


Name David Tennant (aka The Lord Ten-Inch)

Age 38 but acts like a teenager on heat most of the time

Skills and Knowledge

Excellent understanding of equality and diversity issues through spending last 4 years travelling in a blue wooden box meeting many diverse cultures.

Excellent with electrical equipment. Ability to fix almost anything with a couple of wires and a sonic screwdriver

Very fit. Always running around. Manual handling may be a problem due to a long standing back injury

Excellent work ethic - never sleep or eat.

Ability to motivate others and engender feelings of love and loyalty in both close work colleagues and wider society.

Able to speak in different accents - Estuary English, Scottish, Welsh and American are most practiced, though will give anything a go. Very popular for answerphones and SATNAV voice-overs.

Ability to make ladies (and gentlemen of a certain bent) to swoon and require an immediate change of bloomers with a single look. Excellent understanding of when to use this ability and when to hide behind aviators and a baseball cap. 

Clean Driving licence (since changing car to a Toymota Penis)

Can start immediately and would consider travel to anywhere for regular work


Extensive management experience having recruited several new personal assistants in recent past.

Experience of being a radio DJ having stood-in for the mighty Wossy on a number of occasions

Experience of taking clothes off on stage - would consider again in the name of *art*

Considerable childminding experience of late.

Please email me @ with any open positions.Will consider anything.


Let us pray Sisters that the Lord finds employment that will keep the wolf from the door and Himself away from the school gates for some months to come.

Tennant x x x


Merlin07 said...

Will he consider personal appearances at bachelorette or birthday parties? And can I pretend it's my birthday?

Sister Shagwell said...

Sister, I think that we should take the Lord in hand (!) and give him a months trial so that he feels he is making a gainful contribution to society and to the Sisters' general well-being.

A sound programme of activities could be arranged to occupy the Lord for a good 8 hours per day and the odd evening duty, if required.

Are we agreed?

Tennant x

Cindy said...

I'm on vacation this week. I am sure I could find some various activities to keep him occupied. ;)

Acolyte Mia said...

Sister Shagwell, a capital idea! Between the sisters and the many acolytes, we can ensure the Lord is properly occupied for many moons to come...and that we are as well.

Anonymous said...

'The odd evening duty' sounds deliciously promising, I must say!
Do we think he can negotiate a month's freedom from the household chores, to enable him to join the program Sister Shagwell has in mind?

Acolyte Agatha, Paisley-on-Sea, penance-queen extraordinaire

Sister Chastity said...

Sister Shagwell, I am sure that we can find some government funding for your excellent employment project. Anything to help Gordon balance the national books!

Anonymous said...

Sorry if this is posted twice got kicked off midway.
Maybe we could all club together and hire him? He would then have income and we would have him. It would be the perfect solution

Also anyone know what the child's mother has been up to on her book of face? Apparently private photos of the Lord with the child? Also comments about the Lord? Anyone shed light on what the comments where?

Once again little miss perfect stays untouched by scandal and lets friends and relatives do her publicity for her. She must be very annoyed that the gutter press arent yet showing any interest in her

Acolyte McSkinny said...

What is it they say about idle hands?
I could think of many things for our Lord to do to while away the hours...household chores nor childminding are NOT on the agenda.

Anonymous said...

That is a very impressive resume, Sister Chastity! The Lord (praise be and his Ten Inch) certainly does need work, and fast.

I would love to go down to NBC, and kick some arse to get some type of decision on Rex.. that would be some gainful employment, to get him out of the domestic scene. A man of many talents shouldn't let those go to waste..

Juliet, I was slumming on The Child's WDW forum, and was there when when The Child's Mother Book of Face was being discussed. No one printed any of the comments, but I was there for the brief moment when someone posted a link for a pic of The Lord (praise be!)and The Child that was on the Mother's Book of Face for a brief moment before it was deleted. ( I did save the pic btw)I don't know if it has been published or not. Now The Child's Mother either set that page to private, or has since deleted it.

Sallee :-)

Anonymous said...

Put me out of my torment was the picture lovey dovey ? Almost dont want to know but do if you know what I mean.

I think we should all pray nightly for Rex


Anonymous said...

Sallee I suggest you erase that picture asap. The moderators of WDW have been informed about the leak and are finding the info on anyone who downloaded it. I saved the pic too and have been contacted by them. Oops! Just a heads up, Grace

Anonymous said...

Not lovey dovey at all. DT is staring at something or someone in the distance looking very alarmed, and GM is standing next to him looking and pointing in the same direction, looks like she's saying something.

Anonymous said...

You don't need to register or even use a real e-mail address to post there, and the url was one you had to copy&paste, not a clickable link. There's no way a website can tell if someone copied text from it. It's not illegal to save a pic posted to public Facebook profiles even if the poster made them public by accident. I am registered and saved the pic and haven't been contacted.

Anonymous said...

Copying pics goes on all the time all over the internet. I wouldnt worry.
I feel that the longer they are together and god forbid if he marries her, her family and friends will become even more vocal. Its like a drip getting bigger. They get away with it lay low and then it starts again. I notice a lot of the stuff is left long enough to cause a stir and then removed so it looks like they have made a mistake
Thanks for replying Sallee
Juliet x

Anonymous said...

Now the GM fans(or read maybe friends) on wdw are saying it was not just a dvd he bought her last week but a sparkly something.
Maybe the Lord should spend a few days with his own family and calm down.

Anonymous said...


There isn't any way for the WDW Moderators to find anyone who d/l that pic. The most they can do is delete the link, which the moderators have done already.

Sallee :-)

Sister Chastity said...

ahahaha the WDW weirdos are regurgitating the *engaged* rumour again for valentines day I see. Bless their cotton socks. I assume the *baby* rumour will also make its annual return shortly. They are clearly running out of things to say.

Radio 4 on Saturday afternoon Sisters - don't forget clean bloomers!

gossip girl said...

Few things you might not know of:

DT at wine bar on Tuesday night, said to be quite a romantic place, candlelit tables - in West London, where GM lives, wouldnt surprise me if she was there.

Wednesday - shopping in Central London. do you really think they were in Central London just to buy a DVD they could get easily elsewhere?

Friday - DT and GM in Central London again. It's quite feasible that this engagement rumour might have some leg to it this time! Going into central london twice in one week? There is more to it, I'm sure.

You might have forgotten but WDW was the first site to actually break the news about the BB break up and that DT was seeing the child.

Rarely, but sometimes there is truth amongst the crap.

Child spotted in Cheltenham, near Wales, no DT, but no sightings of him since last week, chances are he is with her but wasn't with the child at the time. Might have been with the elf.

Rhiannon said...

Firstly. Can I please ask why this last comment was even printed at all?

Secondly, DT was not in a bar near GM's house last Tuesday. I assume you know nothing of London, because relatively speaking, he was not particularly close to her's at all.

Thirdly.. Erm he lives in London went and shopping in HMV for Christ's Sake. He's always spotted in Central London, so what's the difference here?

Oh hang on...hold the front page.. I stand corrected... he was spotted in Central London...Again?????????!!!!!..What twice in a week????.... Jesus, you're right... There's only one explanation.. it all points to him getting engaged.

Seriously, I've seen some nonsense on the web but this is pure insanity.

All based around some loony who has clearly posted in WDW to wind people up 'OMGZ, my friend saw him looking at sparkly things in a jewelz shop last week!'

Christ, it beggars belief that people can be so stupid and strange, it really does.

Sister Chastity said...

acolytes - lets leave the rumour mill to run over at WDW and move to higher ground...

I think its time Holby City had a resident gynaecologist - put your marigolds on Lord - your hired!

Alternatively, if he wants to do more Charidee Work how about the new Let's Dance for Sport relief - the finale from the Full Monty perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Maybe the Lord could do Dancing on Ice. All those tight shirts. I did think maybe a judge but then he wouldnt be seen from the waste down which would not do at all.

Acolyte McSkinny said...

Glad tidings!
Our Lord has sought gainful employment and is making his way home North of the Border(for a wee while)to film a drama which he has been in training for of late...i'm sure the Sisters can word it much better!
I'm Glasgow bound in March...come hither Lord...cleanse this heathen...body and soul!

Anonymous said...

The Lord (praise be and his Ten-inch) has found gainful employment in Scotland! YAY! (I is doing the Snoopy Happy Dance! ) Hopefully while in Scotland, there will be times for him to visit with family there.

Once this programme is done and has been on the telly... I hope to find it somewhere so I may gaze upon him once again...

Sallee :-)

Anonymous said...

I'm offering up prayers and lighting candles to all the deities responsible for saving My Lord from idleness and the school run::all glory and honour be his and his Ten inch:: Sooo very pleased about the location shot in Glasgow too, as it will give him an opportunity to top up his lovely accent, while consorting with family and mates. All hale!

Lindsey said...

Does anyone have more details about this new drama?

Anonymous said...

Acolyte McSkinny it is indeed a celebration that the Lord is heading home to the land of his birth. I am sure his family will also be thrilled to have him near
Juliet x

Anonymous said...

Very excited sisters at the news of a poss new movie by the Lord to be filmed in Canada. Hope this doesnt go the way of Burke and Hare. He will be splendid in this

amberleigh said...

The new BBC project is titled "Single Father".

Did anyone else's heart stop when they saw David Tennant 'Single Father' in the Google news feed?

I'm still on my knees praising Jesus that it's a film project....

The Child is scheduled to be in L.A. this weekend at Gallifrey One ('First North American Event')

Maybe she'll meet a hunky blonde surfer boy & fall head over heels...

Anonymous said...

Well Amberleigh one thing I am sure of is she will never dump him. He is going to be even more famous before long and she will hold tight. She is indeed already in LA cashing in on her dr who association and no doubt giggling innocently when asked about her boyfriend . Granny is probably looking after her son - hopefully not the Lord
However the Lord will soon be very busy with his drama and new movie and fingers crossed Rex.

Anonymous said...

Someone elsewhere mentioned that DT was spotted at the theatre in London last evening. Not sure which one nor what he was seeing. Even the briefest of freedom is sweet, is it not? :) I have stocked up on candles and incense, and am ramping up my prayerful petitions that our dear Lord and Blessed Ten Inch doth do nothing in his life that is not his absolute will and choice.
Acolyte Agatha, Paisley-on-Sea

Acolyte McSkinny said...

The Child will be of interest only for the fact of who she spends her nights with.

Anonymous said...

He seems to go to the theatre solo a lot. Only at Legally Blonde and La Cage was she sighted with him. Serious straight plays he's usually reported alone. Shame when a couple don't share interests but plays do have all those long words...

Anonymous said...

The Child didst give voice, at the shrine of Gally in LA, and was heard to opine, in public too during interview with a high priest of the cult of The Doctor, that our Lord David the Tennant - blessed be he and his 10" forever - 'is as excitable at 6am as he is at 11pm' :O The wench is of a cheeky disposition, methinks, and liketh to drive less favoured females mad with the green sickness of thwarted desire.

[OR she may have been referring to our divine lord's demeanor when in his actorly persona. His devotees have received assurances afore now of his preternaturally chirpy disposition on set at all hours and in all weathers. I think, myself, that might be his only fault: the eternal cheeriness. The one that I'd have to remedy occasionally by a gentle slap around his head with a pascal candle.]
Acolyte Agatha, of the convent at Paisley-on-Sea

Anonymous said...

To be sure the child has been treated like a starlet in the land of the stars , 'sweet' and 'cute' she has been described as . Of course she would not act any other way being as its a nice little earner . Mentioned she wanted to work in Hollyweird. Really? Wonder what the incentive is. anyone would think her boyfriend may be about to up sticks .
She came down to earth I am sure travelling home standard class.

Anonymous said...

Sisters - it seems the Lord after feeding up wos and friends at an exclusive dinner at his own house, has gone to the big apple. Did he go alone? Prob not as the child will gleefully abandon her duties no doubt and go with him. Seems though he has momentarily forgotten his school gate duties . Fans (fan) of child is probably hoping for a NY wedding.
Updates of sightings of our Lord are eagerly awaited from any Sisters out there

Anonymous said...

It is being writ in profane texts called Twitter this day that our blessed Lord David has travelled across the oceans to the land known as America and hath been seen worshipping at a shrine on the Broadway. Can this be? Would our Dear One so enlarge his carbon footprint just to watch a play, even one which hath a good friend in the cast? Or is there More Afoot than carbon consumption? Let us pray for guidance and illumination. As the Lord's sister hath once opined in interview with a priestly deacon, Tennant Minor is one who keeps his secrets close to his divine chest until he chooseth to reveal all. [Now, that's what I'd call a revelation, ahem].
Acolyte Agatha, Paisley-on-Sea

Anonymous said...

Sisters, wherefore art thou? It has saddened me greatly that the Comment Section has been barren of late. What word of the Lord? I await with breathless hope recent news of the comings and goings of the Lord. We, in the nether reaches of the Earth, in the Land of the Lone Star, pray you, a kind update if you will. What say ye/ya'll? Have you news?

Acolyte Bobbi

Anonymous said...

So David is in New York if reports are true. Anyone know if the child is with him? You seem to know when she scribbles on Facebook... is she doing that?

Acolyte McSkinny said...

Child has hidden her self from prying eyes on the book of Face.