Sunday 10 October 2010

The Lord is a media whore (and we love him for it!)





As the world and her pet micropig know, the Lord *praise be his name and teninch* has been media whoring Single Father around the chat show circuit this week.

We have been variously treated to his dulcit tones on the transistor radio, and his gorgeous visage upon the 40" Altar both for Auntie Beeb and the other, commercial, lot!

When not busy promoting his works, he has been treading the boards with some cronies, doing impersonations of Richard Burton and David Cassidy, reading the most salacious parts of their autobiographies to some fortunate punters in Londoom.

He also graced the Royal Hall of Albert, to support his most faithful disciple John the Barrowman in his little singing show. What japes there must have been in the green room backstage after the show!

Indeed, so industrious has he been since landing back in Londoom from New Mexico, that one wonders where he has found the time to sleep, let alone become re-aquainted with the female in his life. This sister has pondered long on whether the need to spend so much time in the company of others is a defence mechanism against the other option of cosy nights in front of the goggle box watching re-runs of the Bill and Spooks Code 9.

Whatever the reasoning for his workaholic nature, we thank him for the hours of bloomer combusting material that he has released upon an unsuspecting world this past seven-day. With the promise of weeping, wailing and a much over-recorded sex scene to keep us entertained over the forthcoming four Sabbath evenings, I fear that womanhood may never be the same again. Certainly the image of the Lord being covered in micropig excrement is a live TV moment that I shall treasure for sometime to come! Oh to have been the lucky ITV employee who had to cleanse his lap with wetwipes, whilst Robbie Williams was singing *SHAME*!

The Lord has been teasing us this week with the promise of future goodies - a play perhaps, or a film musical? Whatever the future holds for you Lord, the Sisters will be here to ensure the T'internet never forgets you. Trending on Twitter is such an ephemeral accolade - one day David Tennant is #1, the next it's a dweeb from the xfactor - or worse still Anne bloody Widdecombe!

And so with a mere 90 mins remaining before the Lord takes to the 40" altar, I implore the Acolytes to gather unto you boxes of Kleenex, bags of minstrels and your smart phones and await the Lord in all his glory do what he does best!

Tennant x

11 comments:

Acolyte McSkinny said...

Another wonderful blog!
*snigger*

Anonymous said...

Love it!
Julietx

Anonymous said...

Me too! Love it and give grateful thanks for it. The Lord of our Dreams has indeed blessed us with manifest evidence of his many glories this past week. All hale him and the teninch. More please! Am also intrigued that apparently he hit the social circuit the minute he was set free from his BA first class sofa and flatbed [champagne and pj's complementary], but heh, the sight on tv of that dear face, charmingly tanned and sporting a crop of new freckles, has made my week and I am prostrate at this moment, offering up fervent thanks and praise.
Acolyte Agatha, Paisley-on-Sea

nat said...

Just so you know the child was present at John Barrowman's concert on Monday with the lord, and was also present in the audience of Celebrity Autobiography last Wednesday... the child's attention seeking mother was also at Celebrity Autobiography on the Thursday. Alas, he has been keeping the child entertained at night since he returned home, I fear.

Anonymous said...

Our dear one (bless his name and teninch) mentioned in passing to Christian O'Connell the other day that he would be "home until Christmas." Home doing what, I ponder?

A blasphemous thought occurs to me which must be banished from my brain and for which I beg the Sisters' and Acolytes pardon.

Keep busy with voice-overs and audiobooks, lord of time, and stay away from the Office of Registry!

Acolyte Bobbi of The Lone Star

Anonymous said...

Amen to that, dear Acolyte Bobbi. [Though I think that, given his background, the Lord would seek blessing of t' kirk rather than Caesar's.] BUT we know he abhors a vacuum and even one as accomplished as he must needs ensure his thespian skills remain honed. My guess is he is going to be as busy as usual. Hast anyone here heard the talk that the Lord of Time [all hale the Glory and the teninch] hopes to have a role in the forthcoming My Fair Lady film, to star Sally Sparrow? I am not sure if it is just speculation. I love him to distraction but I cannae see him as Prof Higgins; feel his gifts would be sorely wasted as Freddie; and he is not old enough for Colonel Pickering. Or perhaps I need to shift my thinking and stop being ageist.
Acolyte Agatha, Paisley-on-Sea

Sister Chastity said...

Yes indeedy I too have seen the rumours of such a collaboration fuelled in part by the Lord himself suggesting that a particular musical had caught his eye in response to a question from a wee fangirl via the transistor wireless contraption. He is a well documented fanboi of Her Highness Lady Audrey of Hepburn so it would seem to favour a My Fair Lady connection. I fear that this is simply wish fulfilment via the T'interweb, rather than a real opportunity for the Lord to serenade us with his dulcet tones. That said, With a Little Bit of Luck, Wouldn't it be Loverley!!

Anonymous said...

No it's not my fair lady that's just a rumour. I reckon he will probably break up with the child now, have a feeling. You know what I mean? Connor

Acolyte McSkinny said...

That's wishful thinking Connor!

Babe on Wheels said...

LOVED Sleb Autobiog - v funny! And He looked HAWT! :)

His Burton impression is legendary... (or, at least, it will be!)

Single Father, I thought, was excellent - felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach more than once. I SO look forward to the next episode.

And, if all has gone to plan, I shall soon be listening to His delicious voice and seeing His divine visage, as he reads a bedtime story...

Anonymous said...

I'm presently prostrate in the side chapel, in thrall to the image of Our Dear One [all hale him and the glorious teninch] as Single Father.
I'm repeating a prayer that's composed almost totally of moans and animal noises. Whooar.
Acolyte Agatha, Paisley-on-Sea