In atonement for my sins

Dear Sisters and Acolytes,

I have been remiss of my pervitudely duties lately and need to beg the forgiveness from my fellow sisters and acolyte followers of this meagre attempt at communicating with the perving masses. Not only have I not put fingers to keyboard in weeks except in toil and twittering, I have been unfaithful to the Lord in the shape of a shirtless Bradley James (Prince Arthur) on the past two sabbath eves.

I have no excuses with which to temper my sinful behaviour, I have simply been idle in the times between bouts of toil in the land of *cut, cut and cut again* and have taken solace in the visions of a younger, blonder manchild. I trust when the Lord returns to the 40" altar next month, he will cleanse my soul and wash away all thoughts of such young, smooth flesh and I will be reborn into his glorious service. 

I will take such punishment as the Sisters deem fit for these sins and await my fate stoically and with some perverse excitement.

In the meantime, in the world of our Lord *praise be his name and Ten-inch* excitement is building for Single Father following a successful showing to the great and the good of our British goggle-box industry. Auntie Beeb is being curiously reticent about publicising this worthy work of our Lord. As yet, no trailers have been seen across the network, and an airdate has still to be confirmed. Let's hope that the full marketing machinery of the BBC is behind this drama and the Lord takes to plugging it at every available opportunity - breakfast tv, the one show, richard and judy...OK maybe not R&J!

Also sneaked out is a publicity shot for Peter Vincent in Fright Night. What a turn-up! Little did we know that Ghost of Christmas Present would indeed be a blueprint for a gothic magician vampire hunter! Little more needs to said about this ... fangirls must do what fangirls must do when presented with a picture like that!

I hope that I have made some small atonement for my sins of the past few weeks and await my cleansing by the Lord.

Tennant

Addendum dated 23rd of this month of September

Sisters and Followers, it seems I have been depriving you all of visions of the Lord which have been released on the t'interweb. I understand that the need for these craven images is great in the sisterhood so sparsely has our Lord graced the lens of cameras recently. I am further informed that this very day the gracious souls of the BBC press office wilst release the first date whenst the Lord's creation Single Father will be let loose to fly over the airwaves and onto the 40" altars in our domestic living quarters. Such date will be revered and rejoiced upon by all in the Sisterhood and we must commence our plans for the Mass of Jubilation which will be performed on the eve of such a momentus event. In honour of this day, please feast your oculatory organs on the beauties below. Several of these I believe were lovingly constructed by a fellow devotee on a certain social networking site - may the TimeLord bless her and keep her Photoshop in pristine order.

Tennant x

The Lord walketh upon a carpeting of red

Sisters, Acolytes and Followers


As you all have discovered, our Lord *praise be his name and Ten-inch* did step out amongst the luvvies of Hollyweird at a little annual shindig called the Emmy's on Sunday eve.


Many fangirls were heard to utter a little *sigh* when seeing the Lord all clad in Gothic black with those pointy boots upon his size 11s. Discerning fangirls also muttered quietly about the lack of suitable seamstress in the locale of The Angels who could have taken a few centimetres from the sleeve and the trouser legs. Maybe we can forgive the tailoring - it must be difficult to concentrate when measuring the Lord's inside leg.


The moving images of the Lord wending his way along said carpet of red doth show that he is still a little uncertain of the american way of doing things. Whilst other males and females of the species, many clad in gaudy attire of reds, blues and silver did sway and swagger along, posing for the many watchers of such preening to capture their image in full High Definition megapixels, the Lord seemed more thoughtful and somewhat shy even. I wonder whether he felt himself to be a "bit of a fraud" having yet to land a success on the other side of the Pond. Your time will be upon us soon Oh Lord. Indeed, Single Father is already being heralded as a potential BAFTA winner next year and it has yet to be perused by the eyes of the great and the good let alone fed to the great unwashed of our shores!


So in closing, I give thanks  to our Lord for braving the awfulness that is an award ceremony and for giving us yet more gorgeous visions to adorn laptops, smartphones and other *ahem* paraphenalia. I believe there may be more to come (no pun intended) if the tweets from the wilds of New Mexico are to be believed!

Tennant x

The wait (sic) of expection

Sisters, Acolytes and followers,

News has reached us that the publicity machine for one of the Lord's great works is starting to swing into action. Tomorrow, the wondrous pamphlet the Radio Times (other listing magazines are available but i wouldn't bother) has printed the Lord's name on it's front cover to ensure that an additional 100,000 copies are bought by hormonal women who are gagging for news of the Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* to break the drought since he disappeared from the 40" altar last New Year.

It seems Auntie Beeb is planning the Autumn Schedules and Single Father will be broadcast to the great unwashed sometime during the season, though naughty auntie is teasing us by not providing a date as yet. As we know the Lord is a media whore when it comes to publicising his new shows and I am wondering (in the absence of Wossy) where he might turn up... BBC Breakfast... GMTV... The One Show... Loose Women? No, not the last one I think, far too tempting for the ten-inch!

This expection is some small consolation for hearing that he has been replaced in Retreat, though I was never keen on that story. I do hope that this means that he has some new project lined up from September, otherwise I fear it will be back to School Runs and watching wannabe-mummy-in-law in panto with her toyboy husband. Oh Lordy!

And as the heavens open once more above the Isles that we call British, I wish all our followers a lovely Summer Bank Holiday (or whatever the equivalent may be around the globe).

Tennant x

In celebration of David Tennant's Arse

In the downtime between the end of Decoy Bride and the commencement of Fright Night, I feel that the arse of our Lord *praise be his name and tenninch* is in need of some attention. (By arse I mean his physical attribute upon which he seats himself, not the small blonde thing which is often appended to his body). So here are some wondrous sights that have graced the 40" altar, or been allowed to roam free amongst us on the T'interweb. Behold the Lord and marvel at his features for He is the Power and Glory that leadeth us into temptation. Amen and Hallelujah!

What a difference a week makes....

Sisters, Acolytes and Followers

I am sure that by now you will all have seen the visions of our (Time) Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* which have been liberated from the Island of the Man. I fear for the sanity of the costume designer on the set of Decoy Bride. Perhaps she felt that by cladding the Ten-inch in tartan and teaming this with a paisley shirt, she would cause permanent damage to the eyesight of the fangals. Not likely, the Sisters donned their Wayfarers and perved away to their heart's content.

It seems that working away suits our Lord as he looks relaxed and refreshed when compared to the recent visions from All my Sons and Legally Blonde. It seems clear that the absence of the energy-sucking limpet and her small offspring has given the Lord time to recuperate and return to his most gorgeous best. His hair looks shiny and ruffleable once more, his skin has improved and his developing wrinkles have retreated for the time being. There is a move to his native land shortly to continue the filming and I am sure that the late sleep-ins coupled with the natural scottish air will continue to refresh our Lord until he must return to that hell-hole of Londoom and the dreary luvvie world of the davison-moffett wannabies.

As the collective praying worked for the visions, I suggest that this week we go for a congregation on the Sabbath and pray for the ten-inch to come to its senses, wake up and smell the bullshit and finally leave the child for a proper woman. Sisters, Acolytes and Followers you know what to do. Altogether Now .... three...two...one...

"leave her...leave HER...LEAVE HER!!!!!"

Tennant x

Summer Lovin' ...

Sisters et al

I am given to writing this on my newly acquired Blackcurrant so forgive it's brevity and lack of craven images to worship. I will endeavour to add such beauties when I can surgically remove the daughter of satan from the laptop of holiness.

So it seems our Lord *praise be his name and Teninch* is sojourning is the Isle of the Man for a few weeks shagging the locals, who despite the name of their abode have never seen such a fine specimen of a male in quite some time. Some of these lucky females will even get paid for the privelige of appearing on screen with the Teninch. Let's hope that the script calls for many shirtless occasions, a few shower scenes and at least one serious shag!

Talking of the Lord's work, it has also been revealed this week that Fright Night will be released in 3D. How many bloomers will be destroyed as females around the globe find the Teninch coming towards them in the front row of the cinema. I for one will be sat there with my mouth open!

So as my thumbs develop cramp from typing on the blackcurrant's miniscule keys, I bid you adieu. Come on England (sorry to our US followers) and come on Andy! Sadly the Lord won't be at Wimbleborough this year :(

Tennant

Bye Bye May...

Dear Sisters, Acolytes and Followers

May has been a time of turmoil and troubles for the Sisters and hence we apologise for the lack of blogs. It is good to see the end of this month which has seen the satanic marriage of Dave and Nick resulting in chaos in local LALAland services for the wee ones. You will be pleased to hear that the Sisters are rounding off this month of mayhem with a pilgrimage to Welsh Wales. We will be paying homage to the Teninch at the exhibition of all things Who and smashing any craven images of the Child which we stumble upon.

We thank all the Acolytes for babysitting the kiddies in our absence and reward you with the lovely visions above.

Talking of lovely visions, I pushed the on-button on my 40" altar last eve to hear the voice of our Lord *praise be his name and teninch* pontificating about the phenomenon that is Harry Potter. Turning around at the sound of his dulcet glasgweigan drawl, Hallelujah! There he was in all his glory, sitting on the stairs, looking for all the world like a little boy kept out of the grown-ups party in the living room. Perhaps he had just put the Child to bed and was waiting for her to stop crying prior to joining the adults for the rest of the evening!

We are pleased to see the Lord seems to be filling his diary for the next few months with filming committments. We notice that his co-stars are becoming ever-more glamourous: Suranne Jones >>> Alice Eve >>> Thandie Newton. The Teninch must be in hogs heaven surrounded by such beauty and talent and should be very perky on set. We wouldnt be surprised to find some extra-curriculum activity occurring over the hot summer months - the Lord is away from home... the Teninch restless... the evenings are balmy... the pink champagne slips down... Beverley Craven is playing on the stereo... Need I continue?

Leaving you with that image... I will bid you all farewell until we returneth from Caerdydd.

Tennant be with you now and forever

xxxxx

Happy Birthday Lord

Yes, of course, today has been the day that we celebrate our Lord's twenty-nineteenth birthday. We trust that He has spent the day in commune with his wondrous family in the place of his birth as befits such an auspicious occasion and that he has eschewed the company of a common fame-hunter and her wretched hangers-on.

In celebration of the Lord blessing this earth and all females who do walk upon it, Sister Shagwell and I thought some pictures of our Lord clad in nothing but what his mother and father gave him would be appropriate. However, not wanting to scare the children who may visit this site by accident, we settled on the following.

Happy Tennant Day to one and all

The Sisters

xxxx

Happy Easter to all our followers

Dear Sisters

And so as we exit Lent with an uplifted heart and our souls cleansed, ready for another year of perving the Lord *praise be his name and teninch*, the Lord himself has furnished us with a glimpse of the future.

Some pics of the filming of Single Father in his native Glasgow have been decorating the T'interweb this week and they gladden the Sisters' hearts to see the Lord clad in leather and denim and rolling in the hay with yet another blonde!

There are whispers of concern that the Lord is looking thin(ner) than usual and a little gaunt around the eyes. The picture taken at a recent event with the Child and mother-in-law has caused many fangirls to send food parcels to North London. I want to reassure all the Lord's followers that all is well and it is simply that the Lord has given up eating for Lent. Once he tucks into the deep fried pizzas and Cadbury's creme eggs that his fellow scots enjoy so much he will soon look his usual svelte self.

I regret to say that I will be going into seclusion for part of this week. I must make a visit to the Mother Superior in the wilds of the flatlands of Suffolk for a few days of contemplation and redemption.

I promise to return re-invigorated and ready to once more take up the mantle of serving our Lord David Tennant *praise be his name and ten-inch* to the best of my ability and to unceasingly and without complaint piss off the kiddies on Who's Dating Who!

Lord Teninch Bless you all

Tennant x

"The Ex" is Coming Home

Sisters, Acolytes and Followers

Early this morn the Sisters were in receipt of a missive which doth please our hearts greatly. The Daily Fail did write upon the T'interweb that Sophia Myles (aka 'Soppy' or 'the Biatch') is coming home to Eng-er-land to favour her considerable *talents* upon the set of Spooks, thereby replacing the indomitable Hermione Norris and taking her rightful place beside Richard *Sir Guy of Gisbourne* Armitage. And why doth this please the Sisters so, I hear you cry at your laptops? Well being that you asketh us so politely, I shall tell, though it is a sad story and may upset the wee ones. 


Sophia was a young, blonde actress, lured to the bright lights of the BBC Welsh Wales studio in Cardiff. The BBC kitted her out in a cast-off dress from Dame Helen Mirren and made her snog the Time Lord *praise be his name and Ten-inch*. What chance did the poor mite have? After the Lord rode in on a white stallion and saved her from the robot men, He then took his reward from her in the suite at the St David's Hotel and Spa. 

After a couple of years doing the showbiz rounds of premieres (Harry Potter); V Festivals; and charity pop concerts, (although even here the Lord managed some *backstage time* with the scantily clad Pussycat Dolls), it seemed that the couple were destined for each other: a girl who was clearly in love (and who can blame her?) and the Lord Ten-inch who was quite happy with a bit of blonde skirt on his arm.

Then disaster struck! Dun..dun..dun....

Soppy was offered a career in a vamp sitcom across the Pond. Oh what to do? Stay with her Lord and master or let British Airways whisk her away to fame and fortune? Surely the Lord would wait for her? Alas! How wrong she was! No sooner had she unpacked her cases in the hotel room in LALAland than her mobile rang. How dare she get a career in Hollywood before Him! Didn't she realise that He was the famous Actor in this relationship?

It was over. She bought a dog and complained to all her friends about how homesick she was. Her vamp series lasted a while, then got cancelled by crappy, american TV execs and gradually her name faded into the past. The Lord however, went from strength to strength being crowned *greatest Time Lord of all time*. His greatest frustration however, was that no matter how hard he tried, Hollywood doors remained firmly closed to Him. He took a new blonde to keep the Ten-inch entertained and worked all the hours in the week voicing adverts for cheap mobile phone networks and soup-making machines just to keep her in crayons and colouring books.

And now Sophia is BACK! We are anticipating tantrums in Twickers and maybe a *school reunion* or two in the back rooms of the Ivy!

In honour of Soppy's return, the Sisters have corrupted this little ditty from the Eng-er-land Football team...

We still believe, we still believe, we still believe
She's coming home,
She's coming home, She's coming
Sophia's coming home


Tears for Lad dressed in grey
No plans for a wedding day
Stay in bed, drift away
It could have been all
Songs in the street
It was nearly complete
It was nearly so sweet
And now Im singing

Paul Smith on the shirt
Diamond ring still gleaming
No more years of hurt
No more need for dreaming


Talk about Sophia coming home
And then one night in the Ivy
They were strong, they had grown
And now I see He's ready for war
She's as good as before
The Lord's ready to score
And the Child is screaming

Paul Smith on the shirt
Diamond ring still gleaming
No more years of hurt
No more need for dreaming

We can dance the Lad's dance
We could dance it in France


She's coming home, She's coming home,
Sophia's coming home....