She has returned....

Sisters,

I have received news via the instrument of idle gossip that Novice Strumpet is home after being deported from foreign lands. The vessel that delivered her safely to our fold was delayed as the captain wanted to see the last sermon from the book of Blackpool.

Officials from Viva Espania are now talking in tongues of Scot and proclaiming great joy and adoration of our beloved. I do believe that our Novice has "done the lad proud" and truly spread the joyous word of our (Time) Lord.

Word has also reached the Sisterhood that our Lord may choose to appear before the great unwashed of shakeyland and bestow his most holy word upon the writings of ol' Billy boy before he takes to the great thrust altar to deliver the evening sermon from Denmark. I hope that the great unwashed listen with intent at the mutterings of the Divine One and look upon him with revered awe although their eyes should not be worthy to see such vision before them. On your knees, wretched souls and bow your head before our Lord 10"

Pray Sisters.....

Tennant x

I return baring Spatulas........

My Dearest Sisters


I have spent many weeks in spiritual retreat, set adrift amongst many impure thoughts of Our Lord 10" ( Praise Be!). I fear I should be punished severely for my sins of partaking in these impure thoughts and not sharing them with my Sisters *bends over for punishment* (Oops! Sorry - slipped back into some of those thoughts again!)

Our Lord has indeed graced us lately with many visions of loveliness - and his appearance on stage will be viewed with solemn adoration by the SOP in November.............who am I kidding - it'll be spatulas and life boats at the ready!

Apologies, I allow my fanny to speak instead of my head - I fear my lady garden may require irrigation before I partake in any further prayer.

And so....I leave the altar with depraved thoughts again (many thanks to Sister Chastity for her many lewd descriptions of our Lord in action) but also with a promise that I shall commit these depraved thoughts to the blog!

And so my Sisters, I leave you with this picture (a firm SOP favourite Im sure you will agree!) and the assurances that this Sister will arrive for worship on time in the future!

SpottyMania

Sisters

As you know I have recently been suffering terribly from a constant problem of seeing spots in front of my eyes. I think that I have found the cause in the form of the Lord in one particular shirt which he favours.

The cure is simple... I must meet the spotty Lord in person and divest him of said garment slowly and purposefully. Only by going through this ritual will I be cured of my debilitating syndrome!

*Goes in search of more spots*

Tennnant Sisters xxx

The Novice departs for sandy shores

Sisters

Yesterday we bade farewell to Novice Strumpet as she boarded a flying machine for the sandy shores of the balearics. Our thoughts are with her and we trust that whilst she is away from the Sisterhood, she will not forgo her vows and be tempted into gyrating along to the devil's music of the 'Loife boys.

In the meantime, whilst we await the Novice's return, the Sisters continue with their charitable works, sharing the Lord's love amongst those less fortunate. Although Sunday is the Lord's rest day from being Prince of Denmark, the sisters work tirelessly scavvying pics - these come from T'other Site and is the Lord in all his glory yesterday!

Tennant Sisters xxxx

Something wicked this way drove past Sister C...

Sisters, we have heard Sister C's full and frank confession and we now pray for her 'depraved' soul and destroyed bloomers. I was glad to learn of her safe return to us after our beloved drove past her in the devils chariot as he was in muchness of a haste to return south and pay the babysitter. (Bet you wished you had a Tardis now!) Indeed the instrument of idle gossip was working overtime outside the exit of luvviness until we heard that the great book had been signed by our love. Infact during the act of drive-by said instument was in meltdown as the tale was sent to the far flung corners of Limerick and Miseryside.

She has seen our beloved address the great unwashed of Shakeyland and she marvelled at words of ol' Will's wisdom, spoken with such skill that she has decided to make the pilgrimage once more with the sisterhood this November. Indeed this joyous day has known no ends; drinking in the sisterhood base camp for the November pilgrimage, wandering around Shakeyland per chance for a bit of 'Lad spotting'.

I am concerned over the mental state of our Lord as the gutter press have visions showing him seemingly walking into a red phone box..... we need to remind our beloved that he is infact a Lord of Time and not a man of steel - for he is some cheap hamburger a go-go land creation that pales into comparision next to a Timelord. And what of the not so buxom wench that walks at his side? Was our beloved displeased that she had forgotten to put a skirt on before they left the house as body language would tell that this is not a couple who are luuuuuuuuurrrrrrrved up. It'll all end in tears......

Come sisters, your Count - ry matters. Let us pray.

Novice Strumpet - why have you not posted your confession this week? Make a hasty retreat and watch Blackpool as punishment.

Tennant x

The Play's the Thing

Sisters

I have returneth from my pilgrimage to bow down in front of the Lord in Shakeyland. Mine eyes have been blessed and mine bloomers destroyed. I will provide full and frank details in our special place later. In the meantime here is a *spoiler*.

The e'en ere my arrival at the Lord's cathedral known as the Courtyard, He was visted by shepherds and kings in the form of the critics of the British Press. I have seen that they brought the Lord gifts in the form of praise, wonderment and awe.
That he deserves such gifts was never in doubt, but it was pleasing to read them nonetheless.

Of mine own trip, I had a wondrous time in Stratford, dinner in the Dirty Duck, and then the experience of a lifetime in the theatre. My paltry words cannot do justice to the magnificance of the whole play. I fear that only Shakey himself would find the words to describe how the Lord turned into the mad, moody Dane.

Following the curtain call, my converses took me at breakneck speed around to the stage door (which is on the left of the Theatre as you stand and look at the entrance. I am sad to report that I did not get a spot at the metal barrier which had been erected to keep the rabid wenches apart from the Lord's person. However, being a Sister of Pervitude that was not going to stop me. I saw the Lord dressed in a T shirt of most ecological green, come out the stage door. Fighting the urge to shout out "Shag me David" I awaiting his coming to my position with bated breath. When his vision appeared in front of me I squashed all those infront to shove my programme into his face! He held onto the other end as he signed and i felt every movement of his pen...

Floating on air I then set off back to the car for my return journey to my own altar, not expecting a further encounter with the Lord until November. I was surprised therefore when I noticed a Black Prius kerb crawling me. The driver was shouting and gesturing at the slow traffic infront of him and seemed to be in a state of turmoil as if he were in a hurry to get somewhere. I looked and noticed that the driver was dressed in a green T and wearing glasses. He had ruffled hair and then it dawned on me that it was indeed our Lord in his popemobile. I did not have time to use my phone to take a pic as he turned the corner and disappeared into the night. I did have the presence of mind to write his car reg on my hand!

So my night was complete. All tasks accomplished. I am dead, sisters; poisoned by the tip of the Lord's weapon of mass destruction.


To the nunnery Sisters....

Tennant xxx

To sleep, perchance to dream...

My dearest Sisters

It is only one more sleep now till I wend my way to Warwickshire and Shakeyland. I feel certain that I will witness something very special indeed inside the house of 1000 people called the Courtyard Theatre.

I promise to regale the Sisters on my return with tales of swashbuckling, murder, dark secrets and winsome wenches and I will hopefully discover what EXACTLY is rotten in the state of Denmark!

Until Thursday then my Sisters.

Tennant xxx

Get thee to a nunnery

Welcome Novice Strumpet.

I see that Sister Chastity has bestowed the 10" commandments upon you. Learn them well as the path to enlightenment is littered with many false trails that lead to the sullying of young wenches. Beware of the boybands as they are indeed the devil's own creation. As is the devil's mode of tranport; under no circumstances be lured by lusture of a Prius. It is wrong and a mortal sin to consider it eco friendly. The devil fools you with such lies.

The sisterhood takes their vows of pervedom to our Lord very seriously and there are mandatory calls to perve at the 40" altar when our beloved chooses to broadcast his greatness to the great unwashed. We also scan tinterweb on a daily basis looking for visions or text about our beloved and his greatness. At present we have learnt that people are making a pilgrimage to Shakeyland to see our Lord in action performing the great words of 'ol Shakey as Hammy. Such is his presence that many have flocked to the doors in hope of being granted an audience with our beloved, and I believe that some have had the holy armpit stuffed into their face - such joy!

Sister Chastity will be departing to seek an audience next week and we shall perve until her safe return to the gutter with news of our Lord - and hopefully a signed programme. In November the sisterhood will collectively gather to worship at the thrust stage in Shakeyland. The mere thought of being before our love gladdens my heart. I have also learnt that a Federation Starfleet Captain of some repute is treading alongside our Lord, tis indeed an audience of intergalactic greatness.

Novice Strumpet - get thee to a nunnery and pray with your very soul that you stay true to your vocation.

Let us pray sisters.

Tennant x

The Dark Prince

Dear Sisters,

Novice Strumpet has completed her first task and diligently gathered new visions of our Lord in his Princely role from the Right Shagging Company's website. I must add my deep adoration of these pics to the general acclaim with which they have been received within the Gutter and on T'other Site. I particular love the one where his 'Halo', sorry, his Crown has slipped!

In other news, yesterday I observed the new flick The Dark Knight for almost 3 hours. High body count, rubber suit with wings and the trashing of a beautiful Lamborghini aside, it wasn't a bad film actually! I understand that the casting for the next installment is going on at the moment. I feel an email to the casting director with a picture of the Lad as the troubled Prince might sway them in his favour. Who better to play a rich playboy with a bevy of beauties at his beck and call and who has a tortured Dark Side which manifests itself in a fondness for dressing in rubber suits, driving fast cars and chasing bad guys across the rooftops?

I propose of course that the Sisters play the Bevy of Beauties! I think we could spare David for a few months to Hollywood in return for 3 hours of his arse in that suit on a big screen!

I leave you to ponder this possibility.

Tennant sisters x

Welcome to our new Novice

Welcome to the Sisterhood, Novice Strumpet.

As part of thy initiation into the Holy Order, there will be some tasks that will be given unto thee in due course to test thy faithfulness to the Lord. In the meantime, please make thyself comfortable at his feet and learn the 10" commandments by rote:

1. You shall have no other Gods but the 10". (This includes those 'liofe boys!)

2 You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it unless it be a vision of the Lord's gorgeousness scavvied from T'interweb or the Lord himself on the sisters 40" altar

3 You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. You can only use the name of the Lord in praise and song!

4 You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy. The Sabbath is for perving and ficcing.

5 Respect your father and mother. They bail you out when you have spent all your money on perving the Lord.

6 You must not kill except for Soppy, the Biatch, the Welsh Sheep-shagger, the Gremlin or Dead Meat or any future wench which attracts the interest of the 10"

7 You must commit adultery only with the Lord 10" himself

8 You must not steal unless it is merchandise related to the Lord.

9 You must give false evidence against your neighbour to ensure your place at the front of the queue at the Stage Door.

10You shall be envious of the Lord's goods. You shall be envious of his house behind red 56, his girlfriend, and anything that belongs to the Lord especially his A&F hoodie. You shall not be envious of his PRIUS!

See you at Evensong laters

Tennant xxx

So glad to be accepted into the holy order....

I am so pleased to have finally been accepted into the sisterhood. I am still a novice but am very eager to learn.

Praise be to the lord...

Tennant.

Vicarious Pervitude

Sisters

I am handcuffed to the taplop as I scour T'interweb and T'other site in particular for accounts of last night's magnificence on the stage at the Courtyard Theatre in Shakeyland.

I have changed my bloomers several times this morning after words of such power have been uttered through the ether. Words like: "Barefoot", "Tuxedo" and "appendectomy scar" have had my frail frame all of a quiver with excitement. I now read that he rests his head in my lap and I wrestle with him on a bed and grab a kiss... No sorry that was Ophelia and Gertrude the damn lucky wenches. Chant with me sisters..."a pox on both the bitches!"

I have yet to find any visions of his pulchritudinous, I swear on the Lord's 10" that should I find any, I will post them here for all to worship!

Now I return to my task, gruelling though it is.

Added later... I have discovered more wondrousness...

Hamlet gets tied to a chair and gagged OMFG!! Our Lord bound and gagged is almost too much for a mere mortal female to take.

I am also led to understand that the actors use all the stage including the walkways that thrust forward into the Stalls. I think I shall be "coming" in the Stalls if the Lord steps to the end of the left hand walkway!

I shall be on the lookout for the glimpse of "tummy" that has also been forecast.

Tennant x

PS Thanks to a friend of the Sisters... this picture has emerged of the Lord signing programmes at the Stage Door. Pale and interesting!!!

Sizzling Summer Sexiness

Sisters

The Summer Holidays are now upon us. Young 'uns are clamouring to make sandcastles and swim in the English Channel, Wimbledon has come and gone and the Olympic Games is mere weeks away.

I regret that I have not posted recently, but being a Sister of Pervitude can be such a burden, can it not Sisters. Constantly scanning T'interweb for any news or new visions of Our Lord takes up a vast amount of time. Once found, any tidbits must then be shared with the rest of womankind in order to keep the shares of Marks and Spencer afloat in these troubled times. I feel sure that it is the constant purchase of new bloomers which is preventing the country from falling into recession.

Talking of new bloomers, a new signed pic arrived at work for us last week. Such was the excitment that the picture drew, i had to escape the building almost immediately in order to preserve the holiness of the image - women were queuing up to drool over it. The pic is above in all its glory.

I have been on my travels again in the last week. This time taking the word of our Lord up North to the land of the Tykes. So joyous was the news that I brought, that they have invited me to join their Clan in the CWDC (that's Children's Wishes Don't Count- a government funded organisation) for 25 days between September 08 and March 09 to deliver training on the Lad to anyone who will listen in the South West of England.

So I enter my summer recess from working for a living full of hope and joy for the future. My calendar is marked with major events not to be missed:

Anytime now expecting delivery of the next installment of Hiccup on audio book. 3 hours of the Lad explaining the adventures of a 12 year old ginger viking! Love it!

6 August - my first visit to the Royal Shagging Company to see the Lord portray the troubled Dane, followed by a sojourn in the Dirty Duck to reserve the best seats for the SOP pilgrimage in November. I have posted a rehearsal pic above - spotty shirt in view!

10 August - Witness at first hand the invasion of the Daleks predicted to occur at the Fleet Air Arm Museum near Yeovil. With the Doctor busy in Stratford it will fall to his children to save the earth. Fortunately one of his children will be in attendance in full tuxedo mode including new Converses to complete the transformation.

31 August - Sadly this Sister is unable to make the Sermon in the Courtyard as the Lord imparts his well chosen words with regards to the importance of Shakespeare to the new generation. I hope that t'Other Site can be relied upon for a full and frank report of his wonderful words of wisdom as well as some otherwise unseen visions of Tennanty goodness. The spotty shirt would be a double bonus.

I wish everyone a hot and happy summer holidays. Being that i shall not be grinding at the wheel of industry until 1 September, I shall try to spend my leisure hours researching, writing and generally perving the Lad on behalf of sisters everywhere. Enjoy the final pic - I like to think that he had that look on his face as he read our Birthday Card and logged on to this blog!

Tennant Sisters; Tennant xxx

We have been blessed sisters

Sisters

Our (time) Lord has bestowed his gorgeousness on us in the form of a signed S T U B B L E pic which landed on my doorstep during this week. On opening the envelope the vision left me breathless for a considerable period of time and in need of several pairs of new bloomers!

I have shown the expected level of respect for the pic, and after rubbing against my skin for hours on end, it has now been carefully stored alongside my other most prized possessions!

This week has been very interesting...

Saturday night Doctor Who - Stolen Earth - OMFG! Wondering what will happen this week - will the Lord regenerate into himself (yes, yes, yes) or will we be looking for an alternative place of worship?

Sunday - 2 Sisters joined together in pervitude in Londoom! A wonderful time was had. We first went to the natural history museum in search of the 8th wonder of the world (the ten-inch). Sadly we were informed that it was currently residing in a Shakespearean theatre in Stratford.

From there we raided the Doctor Who floor in Hamleys on Regent Street. A Sonic was purchased along with other memorabilia.

Finally a diversion into Ann Summers and we are now the proud owners of matching sets of luminous ten-inch earrings for our excursion in November.

Tuesday Along with the vision that is S T U B B L E, my doormat was also graced with 4 rather special tickets. A further outing for the Sisters to theatreland in Londoom on 10 January to see our Lord the Prince of Darkness in his last performance as the troubled Dane. I feel sure that the Lord will have a "special performance" in mind for the Sisters as this is his last night!

Wednesday. My week is now complete. Tesco.com kindly sent me a copy of Takin' ove the Asylum which i have been watching every night so far. The young Lord is a wonderful sight and his singing and dancing have once again set fire to my heart. I am truly devoted to this wonderful man!

Thank the Lord for my wonderful week so far....

Tennant sisters, Tennant

I feel the need... the need for... the Lord

My Dear Sisters


I have had word that our Irish sister has landed on English soil and is right now heading towards Earl's Court to marvel at the many visions of our Lord that reside there.

On this most auspicious weekend, when 2 sisters will once again be joined in devotion to the 10", I say a prayer for our Miseryside sister who is required to stay at home for a clan gathering.

Join me in our devotions in front of the 40" altar this evening. We pray that the good Lord be diverted in his travel to Twickenham to see the Child tomorrow and instead visits his Agent on Oxford Street just as the Sisters are walking past!

*bend thy head and pray*

Tennant

O M F G !!!!

Sisters

NO WORDS....... Just marvel.......

May the Lord be praised for evermore

Tennant

Sisters

I bring to you new visions of our beloved. I liberated this vision during a "mission" to the t'other side. Perve with me...

I also tell fibs. What I wanted to share with you won't load so I shall have to post in the gutter!

Allons-y!

Tennant!

My guilty pleasure

!STUBBLE !

Sisters, may I share with you my guilty pleasure? As you are aware I have been rather concerned at our (Time) Lord's choice of female company in recent weeks. The mere thought of one so divine thinking with the 10" head and choosing to spend time with a young girl and her tiny tears rather than women nearer to his own age has somewhat gotten on my womanly bits. However I have seen visions of the stubble and I am now in a much better frame of mind, providing I do not think about said slip of girl.

Pray with me Sisters, that our beloved sees the error of his ways - however I do now fear for the womanly folk at the RSC - For he shall stoop and conquer any hot blooded woman and the British "press-ure" shall have many inches of print to shock the public.

Tennant

xx

Comment...

Well said Sister.

I only have one comment: INCEST!

Tennant.

A Sister's Wrath

Firstly, I would like to welcome Sister Shagwell into the Sisterhood, I hope she will be able to remain with us for some time... we seem to have lost her twin, Sister Virtue, to the technological wilderness... We Pray for Her Soul.

Now onto the serious matter of today's Red Tops. I fear that Sister Shagwell was somewhat premature in her worship of our Lord in his shorts on *Sun*day (pic supplied above). It seems that there was an ulterior motive for his buttons not being done up properly. His new squeeze is not yet old enough to have learnt how to dress herself, or him for that matter.

So far from being overjoyed at the view of our Lord's hairy legs and temptation of the 10", the image is now tainted with the knowledge that he has been spending his nights in Twickenham with the Doctor's Daughter! When he said, "You're My Doctor" to Peter Davidson, what he really meant was "You're my Dad-in-Law"

Not content with shagging his way through the female crew of BBC Welsh Wales, it seems he now feels the irrestible urge to add the female cast members to his ever growing bed-post notches. At 14 years his junior, he is either in denial about his being nearly 40 (David, take a good look at the cover of Takin' over the Asylum), or he is simply becoming a dirty old man!

I'm afraid the Sisters will have to take the Lord *in hand* far sooner than planned before he gets himself arrested for underage shagging. I feel certain the Child Protection Squad in Stratford have already made plans to keep a close eye on him during his sojourn with the Bard's company. After all, they married at 12 in Ol' Will's day.

In closing then, if you are driving on the M40 over the next few weeks, look out for a Toyota Prius in the outside lane with David Tennant at the wheel. He'll be driving to Twickers to get into Georgia's knickers!!

Bow your heads and pray Sisters

Tennant