Happy Birthday Lord

Yes, of course, today has been the day that we celebrate our Lord's twenty-nineteenth birthday. We trust that He has spent the day in commune with his wondrous family in the place of his birth as befits such an auspicious occasion and that he has eschewed the company of a common fame-hunter and her wretched hangers-on.

In celebration of the Lord blessing this earth and all females who do walk upon it, Sister Shagwell and I thought some pictures of our Lord clad in nothing but what his mother and father gave him would be appropriate. However, not wanting to scare the children who may visit this site by accident, we settled on the following.

Happy Tennant Day to one and all

The Sisters

xxxx

Happy Easter to all our followers

Dear Sisters

And so as we exit Lent with an uplifted heart and our souls cleansed, ready for another year of perving the Lord *praise be his name and teninch*, the Lord himself has furnished us with a glimpse of the future.

Some pics of the filming of Single Father in his native Glasgow have been decorating the T'interweb this week and they gladden the Sisters' hearts to see the Lord clad in leather and denim and rolling in the hay with yet another blonde!

There are whispers of concern that the Lord is looking thin(ner) than usual and a little gaunt around the eyes. The picture taken at a recent event with the Child and mother-in-law has caused many fangirls to send food parcels to North London. I want to reassure all the Lord's followers that all is well and it is simply that the Lord has given up eating for Lent. Once he tucks into the deep fried pizzas and Cadbury's creme eggs that his fellow scots enjoy so much he will soon look his usual svelte self.

I regret to say that I will be going into seclusion for part of this week. I must make a visit to the Mother Superior in the wilds of the flatlands of Suffolk for a few days of contemplation and redemption.

I promise to return re-invigorated and ready to once more take up the mantle of serving our Lord David Tennant *praise be his name and ten-inch* to the best of my ability and to unceasingly and without complaint piss off the kiddies on Who's Dating Who!

Lord Teninch Bless you all

Tennant x

"The Ex" is Coming Home

Sisters, Acolytes and Followers

Early this morn the Sisters were in receipt of a missive which doth please our hearts greatly. The Daily Fail did write upon the T'interweb that Sophia Myles (aka 'Soppy' or 'the Biatch') is coming home to Eng-er-land to favour her considerable *talents* upon the set of Spooks, thereby replacing the indomitable Hermione Norris and taking her rightful place beside Richard *Sir Guy of Gisbourne* Armitage. And why doth this please the Sisters so, I hear you cry at your laptops? Well being that you asketh us so politely, I shall tell, though it is a sad story and may upset the wee ones. 


Sophia was a young, blonde actress, lured to the bright lights of the BBC Welsh Wales studio in Cardiff. The BBC kitted her out in a cast-off dress from Dame Helen Mirren and made her snog the Time Lord *praise be his name and Ten-inch*. What chance did the poor mite have? After the Lord rode in on a white stallion and saved her from the robot men, He then took his reward from her in the suite at the St David's Hotel and Spa. 

After a couple of years doing the showbiz rounds of premieres (Harry Potter); V Festivals; and charity pop concerts, (although even here the Lord managed some *backstage time* with the scantily clad Pussycat Dolls), it seemed that the couple were destined for each other: a girl who was clearly in love (and who can blame her?) and the Lord Ten-inch who was quite happy with a bit of blonde skirt on his arm.

Then disaster struck! Dun..dun..dun....

Soppy was offered a career in a vamp sitcom across the Pond. Oh what to do? Stay with her Lord and master or let British Airways whisk her away to fame and fortune? Surely the Lord would wait for her? Alas! How wrong she was! No sooner had she unpacked her cases in the hotel room in LALAland than her mobile rang. How dare she get a career in Hollywood before Him! Didn't she realise that He was the famous Actor in this relationship?

It was over. She bought a dog and complained to all her friends about how homesick she was. Her vamp series lasted a while, then got cancelled by crappy, american TV execs and gradually her name faded into the past. The Lord however, went from strength to strength being crowned *greatest Time Lord of all time*. His greatest frustration however, was that no matter how hard he tried, Hollywood doors remained firmly closed to Him. He took a new blonde to keep the Ten-inch entertained and worked all the hours in the week voicing adverts for cheap mobile phone networks and soup-making machines just to keep her in crayons and colouring books.

And now Sophia is BACK! We are anticipating tantrums in Twickers and maybe a *school reunion* or two in the back rooms of the Ivy!

In honour of Soppy's return, the Sisters have corrupted this little ditty from the Eng-er-land Football team...

We still believe, we still believe, we still believe
She's coming home,
She's coming home, She's coming
Sophia's coming home


Tears for Lad dressed in grey
No plans for a wedding day
Stay in bed, drift away
It could have been all
Songs in the street
It was nearly complete
It was nearly so sweet
And now Im singing

Paul Smith on the shirt
Diamond ring still gleaming
No more years of hurt
No more need for dreaming


Talk about Sophia coming home
And then one night in the Ivy
They were strong, they had grown
And now I see He's ready for war
She's as good as before
The Lord's ready to score
And the Child is screaming

Paul Smith on the shirt
Diamond ring still gleaming
No more years of hurt
No more need for dreaming

We can dance the Lad's dance
We could dance it in France


She's coming home, She's coming home,
Sophia's coming home....

The Passion of the Time Lord

Sisters, Acolytes and followers,


Please forgive the parcity of blog posts as of late. I doubt that I need to remind our fellow followers of pervitudity that we are currently in Lent. Lent is of course the period of the pervitudinal year leading up to that most holy of holydays - Easter, which is previous years has been the traditional time of resurrection of our (Time) Lord *praise be his name and teninch* to the 40" altar.


For those not steeped in the Holy Book of the Ruffle T, the purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Perving Week of the Death and Resurrection of the (Time)Lord. Thus the Sisters have been in seclusion, knelt in penance before the full size statue of the Lord Himself, cleansing their souls in preparation for the re-birth of the Holy Ten-inch in the form of A Single Father.


Conventionally, Lent is described as being forty days long - the length of time that the Lord endured temptation. Now we know that the Ten-inch can no more resist tempation than Sister Shagwell can resist winding up the kiddies, so in honour of all our followers who are mothers, we have broken our perving preparations to bring you a mothers' day smorgasbord of gorgeousness. If any acolyte has given up perving the Lord for Lent - please look away now!

After that I think we all need a bit of lie down, so go take the weight off your pins and sit down and meditate on the wonderfulness that is David Tennant - Lord of all heaven and earth and God of Pervitude.

Tennant xxxxx

The Lord searches for gainful employment

Sisters

Firstly we give thanks for our recently joined acolytes. To the Sisters' surprise we have now reached a grand total of 60. It seems that the Lord continues to attract followers to His Church e'en though he is no longer providing personal sermons from the 40" altar. May our new acolytes gain some semblance of solace and comfort in the House of Pervitude whilst the Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* seeks gainful employment at the Gordon Brown Centre for Jobs in glorious Crouch End.

As you can see from above he is perusing daily London's Evenin' Standard for a reason to get dressed in the morning. So far he has been turned down for School Crossing Patrol Operative and Pizza Delivery Driver. His options are dwindling so the Sisters have stepped in to assist the Lord in his search.  

We have acquired, through the usual nefarious means, a copy of the Lord's latest CV which he has uploaded to http://www.fish4jobs4luvvies.com/. We felt that a wider publication of His skills and experience might be help to find Him suitable employment.

_________________________________________________________________

Name David Tennant (aka The Lord Ten-Inch)

Age 38 but acts like a teenager on heat most of the time

Skills and Knowledge

Excellent understanding of equality and diversity issues through spending last 4 years travelling in a blue wooden box meeting many diverse cultures.

Excellent with electrical equipment. Ability to fix almost anything with a couple of wires and a sonic screwdriver

Very fit. Always running around. Manual handling may be a problem due to a long standing back injury

Excellent work ethic - never sleep or eat.

Ability to motivate others and engender feelings of love and loyalty in both close work colleagues and wider society.

Able to speak in different accents - Estuary English, Scottish, Welsh and American are most practiced, though will give anything a go. Very popular for answerphones and SATNAV voice-overs.

Ability to make ladies (and gentlemen of a certain bent) to swoon and require an immediate change of bloomers with a single look. Excellent understanding of when to use this ability and when to hide behind aviators and a baseball cap. 

Clean Driving licence (since changing car to a Toymota Penis)

Can start immediately and would consider travel to anywhere for regular work

Experience

Extensive management experience having recruited several new personal assistants in recent past.

Experience of being a radio DJ having stood-in for the mighty Wossy on a number of occasions

Experience of taking clothes off on stage - would consider again in the name of *art*

Considerable childminding experience of late.

Please email me @ davidtennantislookingforwork@hotmail.co.uk with any open positions.Will consider anything.

_________________________________________________________________

Let us pray Sisters that the Lord finds employment that will keep the wolf from the door and Himself away from the school gates for some months to come.

Tennant x x x

Busy doing nothing....

Our Lord *praise be his name and Ten-inch* seems to be keeping himself busy doing good deeds and charity work whilst waiting for his call -up from the Colonies.

On Tuesday this week he was to be seen breaking bread and sharing a cup with the needy of the media world at the David Tennant Covers party - sorry I mean the Radio Times Covers Party. He was seen comforting the likes of Jimmy Nesbitt, Graham Norton and Ben Miller with the promise that Doctor Who will no longer grace the front of the RT for fear that the Toddler might scare the kiddies and if Amy were on the front in her belt that body doubles for a skirt, the magazine would need to be placed on the top shelf. We are not sure what was added to his beverage at the event but it had a strange effect on his facial expressions! This was likely to be a clear attempt at sabotage from the more beauty-challenged z list slebs at the party. We also noted with pleasure that Phil Collinson had descended from the Frozen North to attend the soiree. (there is no need to comment who else was there - the pictures were posted in the Holy Book of Sun two days running!)

It seems the Lord may have taken his charitable work a little too far and given nearly all his clothing to the homeless of our fair capital city. Earlier today he was seen lending a hand (and a few bob maybe) to the poor disheartened souls of the Party of the Common Man (and woman). As you can see from the pics he does not appear to have changed his shirt since Tuesday. Perhaps he is broke and has auctioned his attire on a well known internet bargain finding site in order to pay next term's school fees? Maybe Sister Shagwell has finally succumbed to her inner darkest thoughts and nicked them all? Maybe someone on the weird wide wonderweb knows the truth...

The Sisters have heard a rumour that Tosser is down with the flu and the dynamic duo may be in the seat for his Radio 2 show on Saturday. This has not been confirmed, but as the Lord has nothing better to do....

Till the next time Sisters

Tennant x

The Time God is victorious!

Sisters, Acolytes and Followers

Well, what visions we have had of the Lord this week. This Sister has been o'ercome with joy and lustful thoughts brought on by delicious and varied combinations of beard, neck porn and velvet.

Our Lord *praise be his name and teninch* began this pervfest by braving the arctic conditions which nearly brought the country to its knees barely a week ago and venturing out amongst the great unwashed of the West End. Channelling John *sing me a song* Barrowman, He sat amongst his fellow luvvies at the Gala Opening of the Legally (I'm shagging a) Blonde Musical starring the fabulous Sheridan Smith and the former Time Lord and prospective dad-in-law, Peter *I've had xmas dinner with DT* Davison.

New bloomerage was required when the pictures emerged and the Sisters discovered that the Lord's visage was clad in more than designer stubble. Many theories were espoused as to why the beard had emerged including - insulation to keep him warm in the snow; a disguise to keep the more rampant fangirls away; and preparation for a part in  The Hairy Bikers. The Sisters, of course, know the truth. The beard returned because the Lord is first and foremost a Man and therefore too damn lazy to shave everyday if he doesn't actually have to. Some days he doesnt even change out of his pyjama bottoms. Not that the Sisters would complain about seeing that vision buying milk in his local Sainsburys ;)

And so to the main event. The Lord once more graced the National Ten-inch Television Awards yestereve. The lucky Black Velvet DJ was on show, teamed with a currently favoured black shirt this year. He clearly listened to the Sisters and left the albatross at home, so the Sisters were sure that the awards had his name on them.  Unbeknown to us, the Lord had been chosen to present an award to Sir Stephen of the Fry - a moment to be savoured - brains and beauty on the stage at the same time.

Of course, the Lord's adoring public had voted in their thousands to ensure that Doctor Who and the Lord of Pervitude *praise be his name and Ten-inch* were duly awarded their rightful statuettes. The hormonal harridans however, stole the award destined for Captain Slow and the TG boys. I think those Loose Women should look twice before crossing roads in the coming months.

The Lord seemed on particularly good form throughout the proceedings, enjoying a night off the leash. A mischievious look in his eye perhaps betrayed the fact that there had been much quaffing of cherryade in the green room. There was more quaffing at the after show party where, it was reported, Sir Bernard Cribbins congoed many young lovelies in the direction of the Lord. What time the Lord departed Greenwich and which particular lovely caught the attention of the ten-inch remains a closely guarded secret, but as you can see from the last picture... he was worn out the today!

And so I close with some news which was also imparted yestereve. The Lord has withdrawn his services from the little Simon Pegg tale of graverobbers. What this news portends remains clouded in supposition. Has he received a better offer, is NBC holding him to ransom, is he taking over from Wossy at auntie Beeb?Only Smarties have the answer! The rest of the fandom will just have to wait and see.

Till the next post Sisters!

Tennant x

In The Year of our Lord 2010

Dear Sisters, Acolytes and Followers

And so we start another year of the Sisters' blog. A year of uncertainty as to what our Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* has up his most glorious sleeve and when and where we might see him next; a year of excitement rather than predictability; a year of expectation and anticipation. The Sisters are most looking forward to discovering where the Lord's new found freedom from taking care of the space/time continuum might take him both prefessionally and personally.

The Lord has begun the year by taking this new freedom and using it to preach to the great unwashed via that well-known geek bible *Doctor Who Magazine* The magazine is clearly purchased alongside their top shelf reading matter by some of the journos of Her Majesty's Gutter Press as the more red RedTops jumped on the bandwagon and republished his left of centre thoughts about Gordon being clever and Cameron only looking good in a suit! It was noted by the Sisters that the Holy Book of Sun (who have jumped ship in favour of the Tories) did not mention the Lord's words of wisdom!

The Sisters praise the Lord for his steadfast support of the Labour Party in the face of all those liberal luvvies. We do not condemn him for being a Champagne Socialist - He really can't help liking the pink fizzy stuff that Richard *I don't believe it* Wilson introduced him to at such a tender age. We have learned via the tweeting Thunderer journo that he was at a luvvie party on Friday night and fiercely campaigning on behalf of Gordon et al to all who would stand still long enough to listen to him. The Sisters wonder whether his next role will be Labour Election Campaign Front Man? Will we be seeing him on the 40" altar in this year's election broadcasts as he was in 2005? Let's hope so!

In this in-depth interview with the Lord in the blessed DWM, the Lord also speaketh unto the great unwashed on the T'interweb. He has requested that the hopes of the Child are not raised by those who sing her acting praises simply due to her proximity to the Lord as it's not nice when reality bites. Bless! The Sisters will of course assist the Lord in managing the behaviour of the Child by always telling it like it is. He would expect nothing less of us.

Late breaking news has reached the Sisters just as this post was going print that the cigar chewing executives of the Colonies little NBC channel have now witnessed the Lord's greatness in the Rex pilot and indeed commissioned a full series. So the Lord will shortly be jetting off to LALA land for some lengthy period of time. Time, we hope, that the Lord will put to good use *wink*.

One final call to arms Sisters, acolytes and followers, please do not forget to cast your vote for your Lord at the National Ten-inch Awards  (http://www.nationaltvawards.com/). We expect to see the Ten-inch up on the stage dressed in a tux receiving the accolades which are long overdue!

Till the next post!

Tennant x

2010 - The Lord moves on...

Dear Sisters, Acolytes and followers

Our (Time)Lord Ten *praise be his name and Tenninch* has finally passed the keys of the rusty Tardis to the toddler and is moving on. We thank him for the years of alien fighting, weekly magazine articles, full size posters and bendy action figures. Life will be different without seeing his face on cakes in Tesco and underpants in Asda, but the Sisters will survive.

We will follow his every step up the ladder towards that immortal accolade that all actors desire - an Oscar and a lifetime acheivement award at the BAFTAs. We will continue to faithfully report his deeds and misdeeds for the entertainment of ourselves and others. News of the Lord may be hard to come by this year as he sojourns in LA trying to conquer Hollyweird, but armed with our T'interweb followers across the Pond I am sure that he will not escape our sight for too long.

Keep the faith in 2010, I have consulted the Oracle and the Lord will returneth to the Sisters' bosoms by the end of this year. Do not believe the members of Her Majesties Gutter Press - they spread lies and misinformation and are in the pay of the Child and her snake of a father.

Normal Blog Service should return on Sunday 10th January - once this Sister has commiserated her birthday with a very large bottle of Baileys.

Tennant 2010 x

Merry Christmas to all Sisters, Acolytes and Followers

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! click on the last pic for an extra special Xmas pressie! :)

THE LORD *PRAISE BE HIS NAME AND TENINCH* IS BORN AGAIN!

Tennant xxx

The Twelve Days of Tennantmas

Dear Sisters, Acolytes and followers

As we approach the season of goodwill to all men and trolls, Sister Shagwell and I felt a Christmas song was in order. We have adapted a well known verse in honour of our Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch*

On the First day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
A Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Second day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Third day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Fourth day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Fifth day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Sixth day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Six kilted Scotsmen
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Seventh day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Seven Lads with Stubble
Six kilted Scotsmen
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Eighth day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Eight Fans a-fainting
Seven Lads with stubble
Six kilted Scotsmen
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Ninth day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Nine DI's dancing
Eight Fans a-fainting
Seven Lads with Stubble
Six kilted Scotsmen
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Tenth day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Ten (Time)Lords Leaving
Nine DI's dancing
Eight Fans a-fainting
Seven Lads with Stubble
Six kilted Scotsmen
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Eleventh day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Eleven Jeans a-bulging
Ten (Time)Lords Leaving
Nine DI's dancing
Eight Fans a-fainting
Seven Lads with Stubble
Six kilted Scotsmen
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

On the Twelfth day of Tennantmas, my true Lord gave to me
Twelve Bastard Faces
Eleven Jeans a-bulging
Ten (Time)Lords Leaving
Nine DI's dancing
Eight Fans a-fainting
Seven Lads with Stubble
Six kilted Scotsmen
Five Sonic Screwdrivers
Four Secret Smiles
Three Casanovas
Two Blackpools
and a Ten-inch in a Tardis

Happy Tennantmas to all Sisters, Acolytes and worshippers of our Lord Teninch everywhere! xxx

The Lord Sends Social Dis-services into Meltdown

Sisters and Acolytes

I bring to you news that will cause distress across the green and pleasant land of Blighty. Earlier in the week the Holy book of Sun published the sacred schedules for the Christmas perve fest. For the past few years this has not proved to be cause for concern. Our Lord (praise be his name and 10”) would deliver his Christmas present to Womankind at around 7.00pm. There would be a hush across the land as our beloved burst upon the 40” altar. For the next hour the Sisters and assorted member of the great unwashed would listen to his wise words and perve with wonderment at the many attributes possessed by one so divine. After the sermon had been delivered from the 40” altar the Sisters would then quickly rush to the confessional channel to see the Lord explain his actions.

This year could well shake up families over the festive period. The Lord has finally taken over Christmas and for this year it shall be known as Tennant’s Day. The Sisters have no objection to the world joining in with their celebration, however we do feel the need to warn the much maligned Social Care professional busy-bodies that the sacred schedules will be the cause for many families to be in peril this coming Tennant morn as the BBC have deemed it necessary to air the adventures of our beloved as the moody lil f*cker, Hammy at 9.00am! As young children awake to the delights of what Santa has brought it is not right that they see their own mothers rocking to and fro in front of the 40” altar, making strange noises as the Lord appears with the holy red T upon his frame. This could scar children for many years as bloomers across the country combust. By the time the Lord finishes with womankind they will be in no fit state to prepare Christmas lunch. I do believe that many families may be subject to TV dinners this year. This is where our over-paid and underworked colleagues in Social Care should appeal to the BCC and demand that Hammy be screened at a more appropriate time or they will have to drag themselves away from their own firesides to deal with families in crisis. £200.00 for working over the Christmas period is not worth the ear bashing they shall receive. As the Sisters know the SS are planning on LALA Land domination (LALA in this context is Local Authority, therefore they, and they alone, have it within their power to move Hammy to a more appropriate hour – think watershed people!

Later in the day the Lord will appear once more to begin the tale of his demise as the great Lord of Time. The Sisters will gather at the altar, with copious amounts of sacred wine and Kleenex. As Sister C has mentioned the Lord is omnipresent. Alongside the Buzzcocks appearance, QI, DW, Hammy, silver screen outings, etc, etc, etc…. the Sisters have learnt that the Lord is narrating the bedtime story this Tennant’s Eve. The Lord is indeed clever as he can read the nation’s youngest a story whilst he reads to the child. No doubt she will be too excited to sleep that night as Santa works his way around the planet. Wonder if it is a sack of coal or a new Barbie doll this year???

Social Services – expect this festive period to be busy. You have been warned.

The Lord of Time Victorious

Sisters

Well here we are, a week on from our Lord of Time *praise be his name and teninch* bending the laws of time unto His will and in the process setting in train the series of events which will ultimately lead to His own destruction.

Many parts of the world weird T'interweb are awash with spoilers and theories, trying to second guess what Sir Russell ('The Tease')Davies may have in store for us to follow our Roast Turkey microwave dinner on the fifth and twenty of December. You will get no such premature emmanations from the Sisters. We prefer to keep our powder dry and bow to the mighty RTD's wit and wisdom. We note with joyful pleasure that the Lord of Time has seen fit to name a Galaxy after one of the Sisters and has plucked a Tudor Rose. We await with great anticipation the return of the Masterful One and some old favourites being wheeled out again in what we are sure will be a fitting send off for the Tenth (and best) Doctor.

This week we have also had the Kiddies in Need appeal with our Lord making an impassioned plea for everyone to donate. Sadly, it seems that I misunderstood what our Lord was appealing for, and was most surprised when Social Services knocked at the door. It turns out he wanted me to donate money, not my 15 year old daughter! Easy mistake to make knowing our Lord's penchant for small, skinny, blonde drama queens!

If Twitterland is to be believed, the Lord went to support his mate John in La Cage Aux Folles earlier this week. I wonder whether the Lord himself fancies taking to the boards in high heels as his next career move. Remembering Davina, I'm sure he has the legs for it - maybe he could take over from Jason am-I-gay-or-not Donovan in Priscilla Queen of the Desert?

As the Sabbath draws to a close, the Lord still has another trip to LALA land to film Rex. Casting news and bits and pieces of the possible plotlines keep emerging which seem to suggest 2 love interests for the Lord - one an ex-fiancee and one an intern who has the hots for him. The Sisters are not taking bets on which one ends up in his bed!

Just in case you were thinking we had forgotten her, the Child pops up in Merlin next Saturday and her father was just on Miranda as a randy french teacher. Puts you off switching the telly on doesn't it!

Au revoir mes amies

Tennant x

The Lord is omnipresent

Sisters

Visions of the Lord have been many and wondrous this week.

As requested by the Sisters and Acolytes, the Lord donned the blessed brown velvet to cross swords with the sainted Graham of the Norton. He excited many beating fangirl hearts by daring to show a little leg as he made himself comfy next to Johnny *big man* Vegas on the plush red sofa. A sneak peek of the show has been previewed on YouDontTube and the Lord seems to be enjoying himself mightily as a poor wee thing gets snogged by the Vegas. Lucky girl, a snog from the Lord *praise be his name and Teninch* would have seen her being taken away on a stretcher!

The Lord was busy busy bust last week, hosting a special Never Mind The Buzzcocks with his mates Bernie (right said fred) Cribbins and Catherine (i'm not bovvered) Tate. It seems the Lord is becoming a panel show favourite - still waiting for his debut on Have I Got News For You - though I feel sure it cannot be long.

Of course the Lord is adept at many aspects of the media business. He turns his hand to radio broadcasting this week on Absolute Radio with the CO'C. No that's not our Oirish Sister - the other CO'C! I look forward to listening to his sultry scottish tones over the crackling MW car radio on my way to my place of work on Wed-Fri this week. I may be a little more perky when I arrive than usual!! I wonder how manic he will sound after the several expressos it will take to get him up for 5.30am!

And so at this, the close of the final Sunday before the country is flooded by the Waters of Mars, I offer a vision of the future. A vision so bright, it has to wear shades. A vision of the Lord in the tighty whitey fencing costume which had such a profound affect on the Sisters when viewed at close quarters in both Shakeyland and Londoom.

Lord be praised....

Lord be mighty....

Lord come here and take off me nighty!

Tennant Sisters x

...and the Lord did spake unto the Sisters

Sisters and Acolytes

I am sure that it cannot have escaped your notice that today marks the first day of the press junket which surrounds the appearance of the Waters of Mars on the 40" altar on 15 November 2009 at 7pm.

So it was that it came to pass that the Lord did appear to the world on the 40" Altar clad this very morn in a suit of finest grey stripes . He was free of stubble and looked fresh faced and relaxed in a room awash with floral tributes. He did speaketh to Penny of the Smiths and she did giggle and swoon like a wee girlie as properly befits a fangirl. He steadfastly remained tightlipped about the moment when he will ascend into the Heavens and be replaced by the Matty the Toddler - a time of mourning for the Sisters and a boom for Kleenex.

After taking his leave from the overcome Penny, He went from that place unto the screening of the Waters of Mars for the journos of her Majesties Gutter Press and TV where He deigned to speaketh to Colin (Mr Entertainment) Patterson from Aunty's little 5Live radio channel. He discussed many issues with the Lord including the housing arrangements of the mighty Russell T Davies, His recent visits to Hollyweird and where He will be spending xmas. It would seem that the issue of Xmas visitation rights are a topic of debate in the Tennant household at the moment (bearing in mind that 25 Dec is also the Child's birthday). The path of true love never runs more tricky than at Xmas time!!!

The Lord has apparantly also confessed today to be jealous of Matty the Toddler in his new role. I think this may have more to do with Matty having a sexier companion that the Lord ever did (sorry Billie, but Karen's skirt is wayyyyy shorter than anything you were ever given to wear) than the scripts!

May the junkets continue and may the pictures of the screening be many and varied in the coming days. The Sisters will be preparing for the 15th November in the usual manner - rubber sheeting, spare bloomers and extra large packet of minstrels. God Bless the Lord for it being shown on a Sunday night!

Until next time....Keeeeeep Drooooooling!!!

Tennant x

Glorious Teninch

Sisters

The T'interweb is humming with news that the Lord has greeted the great unwashed of Londoom tonight at the premiere of his new Big Screen outing in 'Glorious 39'.

The after-premiere party has moved to the Lord's favourite eating house - The Ivy - which as we speak is no doubt besieged by paps looking for that perfect picture. Of course, the Sisters' perfect picture would be the Lord leaving on his own!

To whet the appetite here are a couple of nice ones from earlier on.

Tennant x

Stop the Wedding!

Sisters and Acolytes

Winter is nigh! In the cold and dark of this Sunday morning, we mere mortals will attempt to tamper with the fabric of time and space itself in an attempt to gain an extra hour to perve our Lord *praise be his name and teninch* in the land of Nod. The time vortex that will be created around the world as we steal an extra hour of sleep will call the Lord forth in his Blue Box to the Sisters' 40" altar by Thursday this week. Once there, he will be called upon to assist his erstwhile companion Sarah Jane escape the clutches of the evil-doer Nigel Havers.

How many of us have dreamt of the day that we walk down the aisle clad in a gown of the purest white only to be whisked away at the very last moment by the Lord wearing a long "Hero" coat and Converses? What a wonderful premise for a piece of creative writing (hint hint Sister S). How pleased am I that Auntie Beeb has chosen this week of the blessed half term to broadcast the Lord in all his glory on the child-friendly spin-off from the Lord of Time's own show?

However, all is not well with the BBC. The Sisters were disappointed this week to hear that Children in Need will be the showcase for a trailer for the Lord's Christmas message to the nation. We were hoping for a live audience with the Lord *praise be his name and teninch* at the very least. The Sisters have been praying for some Davina-like shenanigans such as those delivered for Comic Relief earlier this year. Sadly, it seems this is not to be and we still need to wait a wee bit longer for the extra WOM Special for which the Beeb seems to have trouble finding a transmission slot.

So until SJA this week I will keep busy listening the Lord narrate Troubled Young Minds via the wondrous Iplayer and look out for tweets that confirm his return to this Blessed Isle from LALAland.

Tennant Sisters x