The Parable of the Lord and the Child

Sisters

The above pictures bear witness to the parable of the Lord and the Child which was recounted from the Pulpit at the Festival Church Hall last Sunday.

As my Sister has so kindly reported earlier in the week, the Lord's name was not taken in vain and he was not honoured with a craven image during the overlong service... much to the disapproval of the congregation and the Sisters in particular.

However, as the Sister alluded to in her earlier post, a most interesting story emerged after the sermon had finished as everyone was leaving the church hall full of Holy Water and Communion Wine. As we can see from the above pictures, the Lord was unhappy with the behaviour of some younger members of his flock and gave them a good talking to before they were allowed to go home to bed. I am sure he was reminding this particular child of the devil of the TEN Commandments:

1) Thou shall always walk 10 paces behind thy Lord when out in public
2) Thou shall not address me by any pet names or in any way indicate that we are anything more than colleagues
3) Thou shall not hold my hand under any circumstances
4) Thou shall not give me clothing advice
5) Thou shall bring crayons and a colouring book to keep thyself amused when the grown -ups are talking
6) Thou shall NEVER interrupt me
7) Thou shall NEVER question my judgement nor my opinions
8) Thou shall NEVER sponge of thy elders
9) Thou shall honour me and obey me in all things
10) Thou shall not covet my career; thou shall get thy fucking own.

If she doesn't like these commandments, well she knows where the door is! BYE BYE :)

And the moral of this story is that the Lord really does need an older woman who can chuck his bloody commandments out of the window of his Toyota Penis along with the sparkly T shirts and baseball caps.

Tennant x

Who's not a happy bunny?

Sisters and Acolytes

Sunday last, the Sisters gathered at the 40" altar patiently awaiting new holy visions and wise words from the Lord 10" (Praise be upon his name and 10"). Sitting with spatula in hand it was not long before the Sisterhood were rewarded with the sight of the holy velvet and sacred stubble. Across the land many pairs of bloomers combusted at such visions before their eyes.

The Lord seemed to be in jovial mood, and sat beside him was a wee child who had been given a treat and allowed to wear her Sunday best dress to the party and sit with the grown ups. She was very good as the people running the event gave her a colouring book and some crayons to keep her quiet. Many awards were bestowed upon the plastic people of tellyland, who accepted graciously and thanked all their luvvie friends for being luvvies. All was well until our loves efforts were nominated and looked over for super luvvie, Kenny the Bragga and his Van der Valk rip off. (BOOOOOOOOO!) How very dare they!!! Nomination 2 came and the Sisters clutched onto their sonics and offered prayers of pervedom to the universe that our beloved would triumph; No such luck, again our Lord's efforts were overlooked for some drama about a girl and her relationship with a scarf upon her head. The Sisters were disgusted with the powers that be and immediately declared unholy Jihad upon them.

Just as the could take no more a big surpirse arrived and our Lord came out to present an award to Ms T for being an all round good egg. Standing before the great unwashed of luvviedom our Love addressed the nation. The sight of stubble was too much in one night and I must confess to having to punish myself many times for such naughty thoughts.

The evening ended and then the members of her majesty's gutter press paps came out to play. Reports the next day claim our Lord was none too pleased at the end result and faces were pulled. The Sisters have their own take on events post awards. These include the child was over tired and needed to be taken home early as it was play school in the morning. Tantrums were had because she wasn't allowed to walk down the red carpet. Someone had crayoned on the wall....

Until next time.

Tennant.

Only for the true believers

Sisters,

The Lord of Time *praise be his name and ten-inch* has been snapped in foreign lands getting ready to go to sleep. The Lord sorely tempts the Sisters with this Vision of Pervitude and we may need to take ourselves off to a place of solitude and commune with spatula and plastic sheeting.

I trust that he has a grotty old T shirt on just in case of a Fire Alarm in the middle of the night. I also assume that under that cream duvet he has a lovely pair of red Calvin Klein boxers on. I can just picture them now... *drifts off into X rated day-dream*

Let's hope that the Lord has more things that he wants to commit to video diary whilst lying a-bed either in Cardiff or North London over the coming specials. Next time, a non-T-shirt version would be much appreciated!

Sorry I really must go now.... my bloomers have just self-destructed!

Tennant x

Tennant Day

Forgive me Sisters for I have failed in my blogging duties of late. I will punish myself later with a major dose of Casanova followed swiftly by a Secret Smile!

Before that however, today we have been celebrating Tennant day. It started with a vision of breakfast delight, moved through elevenses on the radio and finished with a tea time treat!

Overload of the Lord Ten-inch - may this day go down in history and be celebrated for all time by the wearing of a blue shell suit and Hong Kong Phooey T shirt!

I will leave my sisters to blog further about the Planet of the Dead, as I am sure they will. I, myself enjoyed the romp in the desert but was expecting great things of the deadender and was left less than impressed by her acting ability beside the Lord. Maybe she was overcome by his great presence on the set... or maybe she is only a pretty face and really a pretty crap actress (bionic woman? Second series? that would be a no then!)

We know the Lord's song is ending ... the OOD told us that last year. And whoever doesn't know that the Master is back for the finale has been living on a different planet in the last two weeks... so the *he knocks 4 times* bit wasn't quite so cryptic as it might have been. Come on Ruffle T you can do better than this!! As for *The Waters of Mars*???

The Sisters are all off to Londoom next week - in fact one of our number arrived today and is scoping the joint for us. We shall put up a separate blog about our impending pilgrimage during the week.

Happy Easter Sisters, Acolytes and others dedicated to pervitude

May the Lord sleep with you all!!!

Tennant x

Not long now, Sisters and Acolytes...

...till Our Lord graces our ever vacant screens once again with some Tennanty goodness. We are told The weekend of Easter is the time when the Lord of Time shall play with a double decker bus in Dubai with the Deadender. I am sure we are all in for a bloomer destroying evening. I for one am looking forward to The Sunnies being adorned by our Lad.

Easter cannot come soon enough,

Tennant.x

No words...

...just the sound of bloomers being destroyed all over the T'interweb. I'm off to solitude now to comtemplate the sinful thoughts of the Lord Ten-inch in shades.

Auf Wiedersein

Tennant x

Yet more glorious sights unearthed...

Our Lord the 10" has certainly been a busy boy with The Deadender... new images have come to the surface of their jolly to Dubai. The Lad is looking particuarly thudworthy... with sunglasses as part of The Doctor's usual attire. This easter certainly looks to be a bloomer destroying one!

Tennant.x

Clothing designed with the Sisters in mind

Sisters

It has come to my attention via the auntie BEEBs news on the wireless this fair morn that a clever man in Japan is producing a range of underwear designed specifically for occasions when the Sisters have an audience with the 10" at the 40" altar or in person.

Said knickers are designed to be odour - free, absorb water (and other bodily fluids), insulate the body and dry quickly. They also are flame-resistant and anti-static. We certainly needed them at Stratford!!

We will add this accoutrement into our habits as soon as they become available in the Uk - presumably M&S will be selling them as this is the usual outlet for the Sisters undercrackers.

I am returning to perving now... Will see you all on Monday!

Tennant x

An evening with Our Lord...

Just a little reminder for my Sisters and Acolytes that Our Lord will be appearing on Watch- Sky Channel 109, from 9pm tonight, in his first outing as the Doctor and WDYTYA, where he researched his ancestors. Many a bloomer may be destroyed whilst watching, but the 10" is worth it.

Happy Perving, Sisters.

Tennant.x

Happy St Patricks Day to our Oirish Sister

Sisters and Acolytes

Sister Berny is currently in solitary confinement comtemplating the sinful thoughts that she entertained for the Lord's Arse during Comic Relief last Friday night. The unhelpful souls at PC world are unwilling or unable to furnish her with suitable equipment to return to the land of pervedom for at least 2 weeks.

Our thoughts and messages of condolence have been imparted via the weapon of mass communication and we have wished her well and many guinesses on this special day. If I were a wizz on Photoshop I would have posted her fav pic with only a shamrock covering the Lord's accoutrements. However, I am not a techie and therefore this pic will have to do!

The Lord speed the wire across the water to your home, Sister

Tennant x

Satan's Devilina

Sisters and Acolytes

It is not our Lord (praise be upon his name and 10") who works in mysterious ways, but the Devil. He sent forth his best effort in disguise as one known as Devilina McCallmeaslag, to take on the might of the holy 10". The Devilina one, determined in her efforts, and under different circumstances would be welcomed to the Order of Pervitude but the Sisters were most displeased that it was she and not them who ended up under the Lord and the influence of the 10"!

As ever our Love was a vision, this time in virginal white, (we think this was a joke on his part) expertly fitted to show off the finer points of his loveliness. The hair was rufflesome and the sacred stubble was present. All in all a fine vision to worship and destroyer of many pairs of bloomers. Even the Devil Woman checked out the goods (see above). During the course of his address to the great unwashed to part with cash to help those in far flung lands we were treated so some dodgy dancing, a mastermind quiz, of which our beloved wiped the floor with the devil's dogsbody at his infinite knowledge (something he shares with Sister C). Many people pledged their souls and when it came to leaving the great unwashed she - satan's whore - made her move....

50 Quid was the ransom she offered to be set upon by our beloved. Where on earth were the enlightened few who worship our love and why had they not made vocal declarations that they would be more than willing (and able) to pay considerably higher sums of dirty money for a tumble with our Love? Sister C and myself were most disgusted that our Lord would succumb to such devious methods from a female woman of the opposite sex We had at least 5K in plastic that would have gone to such a worthy cause even if it meant resurfacing the stage area after said tumble. But should be be alarmed at this or the fact the Lord stated he would have done such dirty work for a fiver????? Is our beloved that cheap?!?

Like a true man of Scot, the money was flashed, and he pocketed it before proceeding to convert the wretched woman to pervidtude. I didn't see her complaining as he straddled her riddled body. At this point the Sisterhood went into meltdown at the very thought of the Lord doing this to them. (SHE DEVIL!) Did she think that she would be immune to the charms of the Lord and his 10". No woman can survive the onslaught of such power - unless said woman likes the taste of chicken. The Devilina was floored, she had no escape and our love reigned supreme. Here endeth the first lesson. However as the Devil and the Lord left the stage the Devilina tried once more and touched the sacred A.R.S.E. (Breathe Sister T), to which the Lord demanded another 50 quid. £!3 million had been raised. The Lord is indeed good!

The Sisters sat in shock at what had just happend before their eyes. The sacred vision had gone and now it was the turn to be bored to tears by Jonathan Toss. But we were rewarded as at 10pm our Lord decided that he wanted to be a Rock God and helped out with backing guitar for the very blessed Franz Ferdinand. Lots of facial manipulation and tongue action took place and a leg kick - which knocked the Sisters for six. There is nothing our Love cannot do.

The end of the nose of red day was drawing to a close, but I, weary viewer, stayed true and was rewarded when a drunken Lord returned to the screen to announce the final totalage. Praise be!

All in all it was a moment for the great unwashed of these United Kingdoms and the Sisters.

Let us pray that the Lord will come amongst us once more for the next Nose of Red day.

Tennant X

Hallelujah for The Arse!!!

Oh my days, Sisters and Acolytes! Never before have I witnessed such sheer beauty as I did briefly last night! The Lad wiggling his derriere for all the world (and sisterhood) to see. I need to lie down. Preferably with The Lord on top of me. I wonder if this can be arranged...

ARSE,

Tennant x

Lord of the Red Nose

Sisters

I know that there are many and varied things to be said about our Lord of the Red Nose on the 40" altar last night, but if I may make a number of observations:

1. The Suit

OMG! the white pinstripe suit was GENIUS!. Gok Wan could have done no better. I think they must have sewn him into it because it fitted so tightly and beautifully. (*another pair of bloomers just self combusted thinking about it*)

2 or b). The Arse

The arse was used to perfection during the show. Is it normal to feel the urge to bite it! I must away to confession when I have posted this to watch 2 Blackpools and a Secret Smile to atone for my sinful thoughts.

3 or c). The Swot

Now I am not one to boast, but along with the Lord, I also scored highly in the Mastermind contest. I always knew there was more between us than simply lust. Step aside ladies, I will astonish the Lord into submission by the brilliance of my wit and repartee!

4 or d) or iv) The SNOG

We have mentioned this is the blog earlier, and I feel sure that on her return from spreading the word of our Lord around the local Hostelries in Scouseland that Sister S will have something to say on the matter of Devilina snogging the Lord in public. All I can say is Fucking Hell Lord you are one cheap snog! £50 is that all! We were willing to give you £100 in Stratford for a snog and we donated £100 to CR and all we asked for was a quick *hello*. BUT NO!!!! Snog Devilina for £50, but turn down £100 from the Sisters - SHAME ON YOU! You need punishing for this serious lack of judgement - we will be coming up to extract our pound of flesh on for your Birthday so watch out!

In Conclusion then... Comic Relief = a wonderful night had by all, perving the lad AND raising money to help the less fortunate access the Lord's words... all in all a very good night!

Till 2011 - Tennant x

Holy Jihad upon the Big Sister...

Tonight, Sisters, an upsetting sight was played out before my-and your- very eyes. Our Lord the 10" (looking glorious by the way) was pounced upon by the Big Sister, Davina McCallmeaslag. This may have all happened in the name of charidee but I still believe Holy Jihad should be called upon her sorry head. I am horribly vexed. Our Lord was misguided and should be brought before us for his punishment. In the attire he was wearing on the night of the red nose, preferably. With Davina McCallmeaslags head on a stick.

More sights to behold at 10pm on BBC 2 Sisters, till then...

Tennant. x

I wonder....

In this holy week leading up to the day of the red nose, many a time my mind has wondered to unholy thoughts- concentrating soley on what outfit Our Lord will don this coming Friday eve. My thoughts have rested almost certainly on the Red Velvet(above) , which accentates the 10" to all its glory. I just wondered if any other Sister or Acolyte would care to express an opinion. As you can tell I am devoting all my spare time worshipping at the altar of the 10" and am hoping Friday creates many a wet bloomer. I am also celebrating our coming of age by viewing Blackpool for the 100,956,435,876th time.

Tennant.x

The Sisters cometh of age

Sisters, Acolytes and sundry perves who stumbled here by accident,

I am writing this week with great news of joy and wonderment. The Sisters of Pervitude blog officially comes of age this month.

The blog was born late on that fateful drunken night of the 18 March 2008 after a difficult labour with many exchanges of *should I?*; *go for it*; *i might get arrested*; *who cares*; *OMG you really did it!*.

Our first ten-nan-tative steps were a little hesitant, but the tone was set and pretty quickly it became apparant that the blog would be a haven of filth, lewdity, double entendre, and downright dirtiness all in the name of our (time) Lord, David Tennant, *praise be his name and 10"*

Since we took those first steps we have continued in our ceaseless quest to bring the words and sights of our Lord to the great unwashed of the T'interweb. We have relentless pursued our Vision of a world full of peace and love where every wall is covered in pictures of our Lord at his labours; and every moment is filled with the sound of a soft lilting scottish voice speaking the words of the Bard, or recounting the adventures of a small ginger viking boy called Hiccup.

Our Mission has been successful and is now being taken up by our acolytes in the far flung corners of the T'interweb. May their work be blessed and their dedication recognised by the Lord Ten-inch Himself.

Sisters, I urge you to raise your voices in praise this week of the roseate nasal wear (red nose day) and dig deep in your pockets for those less fortunate than us that do not have the Lord in their lives or sweeping their flues.

Tennant x

My Homage to Our Lord

Sisters

When I first heard this song, visions of our Time Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* swam into my mind and I was inspired as if by a muse, to compile this video in his honour.

His Sex is indeed on fire... though sadly not firing in our direction as of yet.

This day we have had snow in the deep South West and I am confined to the prayer house rather than being able to preach to the great unwashed in Poole lala land. I fear it is a sacrifice I am more than willing to make and i will dedicate this afternoon to silent contemplation in front of the 40" altar with my dvdvd collection. T'is a dirty job, but someone has to do it!

Until next time

Tennant x

The Holy Day of St David has been celebrated

Good Evening Acolytes

The Sisters have returned from celebrating the Holy day of St David of the Gorgeousness. We spent many hours contemplating the wise words our Lord,(praise be upon his name and 10") who read the sermon from the book of Shakespeare. Sister C has posted the link for you to hear in an earlier post. A new vision had also been found of our love when he was just a wee lad, who is suited and booted. Indeed this was a vision of gorgeousness and obviously before his wanderings to the opposite sex were below the age of 25 months. (see above)

We also broke sacred chocolate and drank wine and imagined that this was done over our Lord's torso. At this point bloomers spontaneously combusted and spatula's were required to remove the Sisters from the floor.

Word of our beloved is that he is safely back in Welsh Wales and wearing thermal covering while he walks amongst the great unwashed filming more adventures with yet another assistant. At least this one is of a more mature age.

For those who have not celebrated this day - shame on you! Now go to a dark room and repent your bad ways by watching 3 Blackpools and 7 Casanova's.

Tennant x

The Lord readeth the lesson this week

Sisters

The Lord has graced us with a reading from the most sacred text of the Bard himself this weekend.

May I suggest that all Sisters and Acolytes and anyone of a nervous disposition should remove shoes, loosen tight clothing and divest themselves of bloomers before listening to this work of such beauty from our Lord *praise be his name and teninch*

There is little left to say except OMFG!!!

Tennant Sisters

Ancient Vision...

T'other side certainly has it's uses...for today I have come across a glorious sight... Our Lord papped over 10 years ago. Yes, he may well resemble George Harrison, but I think you will agree Sisters this picture is still Wet Bloomer-worthy.

I am now off to serve various ales and spirits as a Maid of the Bar in my local public house but shall take this wonderous vision away with me.

Worship, Sisters.

Tennant.x