Love's Labours Lost

Sisters

The first images have emerged from the depths of the Right Shagging Company of our Lord rehearsing for his *part* in LLL.

Notice Bellino in the back of one of these pics.

The third pic makes me *wibble* Oh the stubble, Sister Shagwell... the stubble.

Tennant x

Holy Jihad to my Broadband Provider!!!

This Sister is NOT happy. I have returned, yet again, from the wilderness that is broadband hell. We must declare holy jihad Sisters, on the crappy,shite, brutal provider that is vodafone (grrrrrr).

For more days than I wish to look back upon, this Sister was forced to withdraw to Tennant-land to think happy thoughts about our lord 10" (not that this in itself is a bad thing), rather than gaze upon the many gorgeous images to be found on the t'interweb! It is unthinkable that a Sister should be kept from her holy works due to the bastarding, shite and pisspoor quality of the morons at vodafone.

Aaaaahhhhh. I have finished my rantings; and thanks to a miracle of technology (and a major rant at the moron in vodafone) I find myself back online to perve like a good SOP should. And to cheer myself up - I trust that you will not be put out by this - I have included one of my all time favourite pictures of our lord and master. Please feel free to drool.

Tennant x

The Sister can be cultured!

Sisters, Novices, Acolyates and other sundry followers

As the only Sister left to Blog this week, I feel it my duty to write something profane – I mean profound – about our Time Lord and our imminent pilgrimage to ShakeyLand.

My thoughts have been directed this week very much towards our Lord and his heritage as a “Shakespearean Actor”. The above image of the Lord as Romeo (*thanks to Sister S*) set the scene with some dark and disturbing day dreams involving tongues, hands and the 10”, thinly clad in white cotton, pressing against my nether regions.

This has been swiftly followed by a video clip from the Lord as Angelo in Measure for Measure pressing an unwanted suit upon a poor unsuspecting maiden in a garden. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6JpTAaLi_Q8

His very masterful overpowering of the said maiden aroused wet bloomer making feelings amongst all the Sisters who had a collective intake of breath! Bad, bad David = hot, hot David *panting*

The upshot of all this Shakespeare is that I have accepted a challenge from Sister Bernie to write a Fic featuring the Lord based on the plot of Romeo and Juliet. *watch this space*

In conclusion, I have received a missive from Sister S from Hamburger a-go-go land. She is well, its 104o, and she has seen lots of Toymota Penises, though, Alas! None driven by the Lord himself of course!

We pray for her perverted soul as she worships the wise and mighty Baz in the sinful city of Las Vegas.

Tennant xxx

An Epiphany - Again!

Dearest Sisters,

For the past week I have confined myself to the Gutter Cupboard with numerous spatulas, punishing myself (gladly) for lewd and depraved thoughts about our Lord 10"'s bum. It is indeed a sight to behold and I felt I had to place a picture of said bum up here to remind myself of the naughty disgusting thoughts I have been having.

On another note, I have been extremely giddy and excitable of late due to the proximity of our pilgrimage to Stratford to worship our Lord as he threads the boards only feet away from us. Our Spiritual Retreat is now only 5wks, 2days away! As a result of this proximity, I was discussing our gathering on All Hallow's eve with Sister Shagwell. As our imaginings got the better of us regarding the Sisterhood worshipping at the hallowed ground known as the Stage Door, it came to me - an Epiphany!! Sisters, a new fic has formed in my depraved and filthy mind.

I shall post this fic in our hallowed Gutter as soon as may be possible. And I shall also edit said fic for publishing here on the blog - I feel it deserves to be placed before the 40" altar as it was the Sisterhood that inspired me!

Stay tuned for further revelations.


Tennant
xx

Farewell dear sisters...

Sisters

Tomorrow I depart these shores, destination Hamburger a go-go land to preach the word of our beloved and to call in on the God Damn Living Legend who is preaching to the great unwashed upon the stage at the Hilton, Las Vegas.

While I am away please pray for our Lord to keep him safe and to stop his wandering eye, hands, person..... Sister Septic foretells that our beloved is getting restless, and is looking for something new. I am praying that she is once again right and upon my return the "phone call" will have been made, however on this occasion I think it is more appropriate that a crayon drawing in bright colours is despatched to the child minder in Londoom. I am sure our Lord will save a small fortune in child minding fees.

The recent visions of our love have shown him to be in excellent health and have provided many hours of devotion for the sisterhood. Indeed the Novice is beside herself at the Lord's curtains. We pray for her soul and that come November our love will be wearing the spotty as a reward to Sister Chastity for all her perverted thoughts . We know how much this will mean to her and have alerted the emergency authorities to man the lifeboats.

Until my return, pray for me and my warped soul.

Tennant xx

Prayers...

I was worshipping at the 40" altar this good morning and was overcome to pray to our beloved.

Hail Perverts,
Full of smut,

The Lord of Time is with thee.

Blessed is he in tight pants among many, many women,

and blessed is the fruitof thy work, ACTING.

Holy Russell,Creator of smutdom,

pray for us perves now,

and at the hour prior to all transmissions

Tennant x

Hail Hammy,

Full of woe,

The Prince of Denmark is with grief.

Blessed art thou upon the thrust stage,

and blessed is the spatula used to relieve all sexual frustration,

OMFG!,

pray for us perverts now,

and at the line of “Count –ry Matters”

Tennant x

Repeat daily my sisters so we may truly embrace the 10".

My Plea to the Sisterhood...

I feel, as a Novice that I must prove myself to you, Sisters and show that I am worthy to be part of the Unholy Order.

The Lad has been a part of my life now for 4 years and each day my innocence has wiltered away and I've succumbed to a life of Guttering and Pervitude.

I eat, sleep and breathe the 10" and not a day goes by when I am not perving- be it in the Gutter, our spiritual home or on t'other side- scavving pics and trying to keep my unholy thoughts in order.

As a very learned Novice with a lot of knowledge about The Lad, I was wondering if perhaps it is time for me to take my unholy communion and become a fully-fledged sister? I am more than ready to devote my life to perving and no other will ever enter my mind (including the 'loife devil-men.) So, what do you say?

Tennant.

New Hymn to the Ten-Inch

Sisters, I felt we needed a new Hymn to celebrate our upcoming Pilgrimage to Shakeyland. So Sing with me.....

Dear TimeLord and shagger of womankind,
Forgive our fangirl ways!
Un-clothe us in our sinful mind,
Impurer lives thy service find,
In deeper pervitude praise.
In deeper pervitude praise.

In simple trust like theirs who heard,
Beside the Thrust Stage there,
The gracious calling of the Lord,
Let us, like them, without a word
Rise up and Stage Door thee.
Rise up and Stage Door thee.

O Sabbath rest in Shakey Land!
O calm the theatre of the Court,
Where the Sisters kneel to share with thee
Their silent sexual generosity,
Interpreted by love!
Interpreted by love!

Give thy dews of milky kindness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our Sisters only confess,
The beauty of thy 10”.
The beauty of thy 10”.

Release through the heat of our desire
Thy saltiness and flame;
Let flesh be numb, let thoughts inspire;
Erupt through the earthquake, wind, and fire,
Be still, 10” of fame!
Be still, 10” of fame!

Greetings, Sisters....

...I have indeed returned from my jaunt to foreign shores, spreading the good word of the 10" himself. "Lets get this road on the show" I commented to my mother as we boarded the vessel bringing me back to our holy place of worship. He was never far from my mind as I allowed myself many unholy thoughts. And no attention was paid to the 'loife boys, the devil personified.
I am back now to continue my worship.
Tennant xxxx

She has returned....

Sisters,

I have received news via the instrument of idle gossip that Novice Strumpet is home after being deported from foreign lands. The vessel that delivered her safely to our fold was delayed as the captain wanted to see the last sermon from the book of Blackpool.

Officials from Viva Espania are now talking in tongues of Scot and proclaiming great joy and adoration of our beloved. I do believe that our Novice has "done the lad proud" and truly spread the joyous word of our (Time) Lord.

Word has also reached the Sisterhood that our Lord may choose to appear before the great unwashed of shakeyland and bestow his most holy word upon the writings of ol' Billy boy before he takes to the great thrust altar to deliver the evening sermon from Denmark. I hope that the great unwashed listen with intent at the mutterings of the Divine One and look upon him with revered awe although their eyes should not be worthy to see such vision before them. On your knees, wretched souls and bow your head before our Lord 10"

Pray Sisters.....

Tennant x

I return baring Spatulas........

My Dearest Sisters


I have spent many weeks in spiritual retreat, set adrift amongst many impure thoughts of Our Lord 10" ( Praise Be!). I fear I should be punished severely for my sins of partaking in these impure thoughts and not sharing them with my Sisters *bends over for punishment* (Oops! Sorry - slipped back into some of those thoughts again!)

Our Lord has indeed graced us lately with many visions of loveliness - and his appearance on stage will be viewed with solemn adoration by the SOP in November.............who am I kidding - it'll be spatulas and life boats at the ready!

Apologies, I allow my fanny to speak instead of my head - I fear my lady garden may require irrigation before I partake in any further prayer.

And so....I leave the altar with depraved thoughts again (many thanks to Sister Chastity for her many lewd descriptions of our Lord in action) but also with a promise that I shall commit these depraved thoughts to the blog!

And so my Sisters, I leave you with this picture (a firm SOP favourite Im sure you will agree!) and the assurances that this Sister will arrive for worship on time in the future!

SpottyMania

Sisters

As you know I have recently been suffering terribly from a constant problem of seeing spots in front of my eyes. I think that I have found the cause in the form of the Lord in one particular shirt which he favours.

The cure is simple... I must meet the spotty Lord in person and divest him of said garment slowly and purposefully. Only by going through this ritual will I be cured of my debilitating syndrome!

*Goes in search of more spots*

Tennnant Sisters xxx

The Novice departs for sandy shores

Sisters

Yesterday we bade farewell to Novice Strumpet as she boarded a flying machine for the sandy shores of the balearics. Our thoughts are with her and we trust that whilst she is away from the Sisterhood, she will not forgo her vows and be tempted into gyrating along to the devil's music of the 'Loife boys.

In the meantime, whilst we await the Novice's return, the Sisters continue with their charitable works, sharing the Lord's love amongst those less fortunate. Although Sunday is the Lord's rest day from being Prince of Denmark, the sisters work tirelessly scavvying pics - these come from T'other Site and is the Lord in all his glory yesterday!

Tennant Sisters xxxx

Something wicked this way drove past Sister C...

Sisters, we have heard Sister C's full and frank confession and we now pray for her 'depraved' soul and destroyed bloomers. I was glad to learn of her safe return to us after our beloved drove past her in the devils chariot as he was in muchness of a haste to return south and pay the babysitter. (Bet you wished you had a Tardis now!) Indeed the instrument of idle gossip was working overtime outside the exit of luvviness until we heard that the great book had been signed by our love. Infact during the act of drive-by said instument was in meltdown as the tale was sent to the far flung corners of Limerick and Miseryside.

She has seen our beloved address the great unwashed of Shakeyland and she marvelled at words of ol' Will's wisdom, spoken with such skill that she has decided to make the pilgrimage once more with the sisterhood this November. Indeed this joyous day has known no ends; drinking in the sisterhood base camp for the November pilgrimage, wandering around Shakeyland per chance for a bit of 'Lad spotting'.

I am concerned over the mental state of our Lord as the gutter press have visions showing him seemingly walking into a red phone box..... we need to remind our beloved that he is infact a Lord of Time and not a man of steel - for he is some cheap hamburger a go-go land creation that pales into comparision next to a Timelord. And what of the not so buxom wench that walks at his side? Was our beloved displeased that she had forgotten to put a skirt on before they left the house as body language would tell that this is not a couple who are luuuuuuuuurrrrrrrved up. It'll all end in tears......

Come sisters, your Count - ry matters. Let us pray.

Novice Strumpet - why have you not posted your confession this week? Make a hasty retreat and watch Blackpool as punishment.

Tennant x

The Play's the Thing

Sisters

I have returneth from my pilgrimage to bow down in front of the Lord in Shakeyland. Mine eyes have been blessed and mine bloomers destroyed. I will provide full and frank details in our special place later. In the meantime here is a *spoiler*.

The e'en ere my arrival at the Lord's cathedral known as the Courtyard, He was visted by shepherds and kings in the form of the critics of the British Press. I have seen that they brought the Lord gifts in the form of praise, wonderment and awe.
That he deserves such gifts was never in doubt, but it was pleasing to read them nonetheless.

Of mine own trip, I had a wondrous time in Stratford, dinner in the Dirty Duck, and then the experience of a lifetime in the theatre. My paltry words cannot do justice to the magnificance of the whole play. I fear that only Shakey himself would find the words to describe how the Lord turned into the mad, moody Dane.

Following the curtain call, my converses took me at breakneck speed around to the stage door (which is on the left of the Theatre as you stand and look at the entrance. I am sad to report that I did not get a spot at the metal barrier which had been erected to keep the rabid wenches apart from the Lord's person. However, being a Sister of Pervitude that was not going to stop me. I saw the Lord dressed in a T shirt of most ecological green, come out the stage door. Fighting the urge to shout out "Shag me David" I awaiting his coming to my position with bated breath. When his vision appeared in front of me I squashed all those infront to shove my programme into his face! He held onto the other end as he signed and i felt every movement of his pen...

Floating on air I then set off back to the car for my return journey to my own altar, not expecting a further encounter with the Lord until November. I was surprised therefore when I noticed a Black Prius kerb crawling me. The driver was shouting and gesturing at the slow traffic infront of him and seemed to be in a state of turmoil as if he were in a hurry to get somewhere. I looked and noticed that the driver was dressed in a green T and wearing glasses. He had ruffled hair and then it dawned on me that it was indeed our Lord in his popemobile. I did not have time to use my phone to take a pic as he turned the corner and disappeared into the night. I did have the presence of mind to write his car reg on my hand!

So my night was complete. All tasks accomplished. I am dead, sisters; poisoned by the tip of the Lord's weapon of mass destruction.


To the nunnery Sisters....

Tennant xxx

To sleep, perchance to dream...

My dearest Sisters

It is only one more sleep now till I wend my way to Warwickshire and Shakeyland. I feel certain that I will witness something very special indeed inside the house of 1000 people called the Courtyard Theatre.

I promise to regale the Sisters on my return with tales of swashbuckling, murder, dark secrets and winsome wenches and I will hopefully discover what EXACTLY is rotten in the state of Denmark!

Until Thursday then my Sisters.

Tennant xxx

Get thee to a nunnery

Welcome Novice Strumpet.

I see that Sister Chastity has bestowed the 10" commandments upon you. Learn them well as the path to enlightenment is littered with many false trails that lead to the sullying of young wenches. Beware of the boybands as they are indeed the devil's own creation. As is the devil's mode of tranport; under no circumstances be lured by lusture of a Prius. It is wrong and a mortal sin to consider it eco friendly. The devil fools you with such lies.

The sisterhood takes their vows of pervedom to our Lord very seriously and there are mandatory calls to perve at the 40" altar when our beloved chooses to broadcast his greatness to the great unwashed. We also scan tinterweb on a daily basis looking for visions or text about our beloved and his greatness. At present we have learnt that people are making a pilgrimage to Shakeyland to see our Lord in action performing the great words of 'ol Shakey as Hammy. Such is his presence that many have flocked to the doors in hope of being granted an audience with our beloved, and I believe that some have had the holy armpit stuffed into their face - such joy!

Sister Chastity will be departing to seek an audience next week and we shall perve until her safe return to the gutter with news of our Lord - and hopefully a signed programme. In November the sisterhood will collectively gather to worship at the thrust stage in Shakeyland. The mere thought of being before our love gladdens my heart. I have also learnt that a Federation Starfleet Captain of some repute is treading alongside our Lord, tis indeed an audience of intergalactic greatness.

Novice Strumpet - get thee to a nunnery and pray with your very soul that you stay true to your vocation.

Let us pray sisters.

Tennant x

The Dark Prince

Dear Sisters,

Novice Strumpet has completed her first task and diligently gathered new visions of our Lord in his Princely role from the Right Shagging Company's website. I must add my deep adoration of these pics to the general acclaim with which they have been received within the Gutter and on T'other Site. I particular love the one where his 'Halo', sorry, his Crown has slipped!

In other news, yesterday I observed the new flick The Dark Knight for almost 3 hours. High body count, rubber suit with wings and the trashing of a beautiful Lamborghini aside, it wasn't a bad film actually! I understand that the casting for the next installment is going on at the moment. I feel an email to the casting director with a picture of the Lad as the troubled Prince might sway them in his favour. Who better to play a rich playboy with a bevy of beauties at his beck and call and who has a tortured Dark Side which manifests itself in a fondness for dressing in rubber suits, driving fast cars and chasing bad guys across the rooftops?

I propose of course that the Sisters play the Bevy of Beauties! I think we could spare David for a few months to Hollywood in return for 3 hours of his arse in that suit on a big screen!

I leave you to ponder this possibility.

Tennant sisters x

Welcome to our new Novice

Welcome to the Sisterhood, Novice Strumpet.

As part of thy initiation into the Holy Order, there will be some tasks that will be given unto thee in due course to test thy faithfulness to the Lord. In the meantime, please make thyself comfortable at his feet and learn the 10" commandments by rote:

1. You shall have no other Gods but the 10". (This includes those 'liofe boys!)

2 You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it unless it be a vision of the Lord's gorgeousness scavvied from T'interweb or the Lord himself on the sisters 40" altar

3 You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. You can only use the name of the Lord in praise and song!

4 You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy. The Sabbath is for perving and ficcing.

5 Respect your father and mother. They bail you out when you have spent all your money on perving the Lord.

6 You must not kill except for Soppy, the Biatch, the Welsh Sheep-shagger, the Gremlin or Dead Meat or any future wench which attracts the interest of the 10"

7 You must commit adultery only with the Lord 10" himself

8 You must not steal unless it is merchandise related to the Lord.

9 You must give false evidence against your neighbour to ensure your place at the front of the queue at the Stage Door.

10You shall be envious of the Lord's goods. You shall be envious of his house behind red 56, his girlfriend, and anything that belongs to the Lord especially his A&F hoodie. You shall not be envious of his PRIUS!

See you at Evensong laters

Tennant xxx

So glad to be accepted into the holy order....

I am so pleased to have finally been accepted into the sisterhood. I am still a novice but am very eager to learn.

Praise be to the lord...

Tennant.