Novice Strumpet becomes Sister Toblerone...

I would like to say thanks to my fellow sisters for finally promoting me to full sisterhood. I will perve and worship the 10" and make you proud.

Tennant.x

...and so the end of 2008 is in sight....

Sisters

This is a time of reviewing the year about to pass and look forward to a New one coming.

2008 has been a special year as it saw the creation of the Gutter Girls out of the now infamous "Duvet Thread". 3 months later, from within the Gutter, was born the Sisterhood themselves.

Together with our (time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"* we have traversed the universe saving the Royals from Kylie; UNIT from the Sontarans and the whole planet Earth from the Daleks. We have been treated to a naked Doctor (well from the chest up!), a happy doctor, a dangerous doctor and a sad doctor. We have blown up Pompeii; freed the OOD and taken tea with Agatha Christie.

Sadly, we have NOT had any new Hiccup and Toothless to entertain us this year (we need to wait until March for that treat), but we did have David interviewing Richard Wilson and discussing tapeworms, banjos and Doctor Who action figures!!

In the theatre the Lord has taken the Bard by the throat and shaken him thoroughly. The Sisters have all been treated to Hammy and Berowne and (all but Sister Shagwell) have been graced by the Lord's audience at the stage door. *Toblerone* will never look the same again ;) will it Novice?

The Lord himself has had a varied year with the ladies. The Midget, Welsh Sheep Shagger and Gremlin have all let him slip through their sticky mitts. The Child seems to have a better grasp of the Lord, but we are sure that he has recently greased her fingers and she cannot hold on much longer. New Year, New House, New Job, New iPhone - the Lord simply needs a new gf and he has the complete set.

...And so to the future... 2009

We have plenty to look forward to in 2009. Prayers will be answered for the Lord to return to the stage and play Hammy on 6 January. Being his final week, I feel sure that he will grant us a special audience at the stage door and sign more than our programmes! *puppies at the ready Sister S*

We have 4 Specials with the timeLord before he finally leaves the 40" altar in this incarnation. There should be plenty of visions of the Lord in Cardiff between now and May to keep the Sisters happy. Lifeboats at the ready!

I am sure the BBC have plenty of things to keep the Lad off the streets after his stint as the Doctor is finished. Suggestions from the Sisters include: Blackpool 2 - the Karma Sutra Northern Style; Casanova - the uncut version; Doctor Who - the musical; Any Shag will Do or I'd Shag Anything - hosted by John B where the Lad is auditioning women to be his new gf (no children eligible to apply).

The Sisters will ceaselessly preach the Word of the (time)Lord to the great unwashed of the world during 2009 and new Acolytes will continue to be welcome to worship the Lord Ten-inch at the Sisters of Pervitude Blog.

The Lord bless all in pervitude.

Tennant xxx

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Dear Sisters and Acolytes

I want to wish all the bloggers and bloggees a very merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.

We know our (Time)Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch* has spent the day with his neices, dad, brother and sis-in-law and we trust that they had a lovely time opening pressies and watching the Lad in his very own Xmas Special!!

What a shame the Child was on her own for Xmas and her birthday *sniggers behind her hand*

Here's to a Child-free 2009!

Love

Sister Chastity xxx

The Sisters Pilgrimage in doubt

Sisters

It has indeed been a week spent in reflection and prayer. Our (Time)Lord *praise be his name and 10"* has found himself seriously indisposed this week and has pulled out of Hamlet until at least Christmas.

One of the more evil Sisters (no name, no packdrill) has been slightly less than sympathetic to our Lord and is waiting (nay, gagging) to see a picture of Him in the RedTops limping around on crutches. I fear that should she see Him in the street, she may indeed be tempted into kicking away His crutches so that she could lay herself beneath Him to make a comfy place on which for Him to fall. We will not continue to pander to her personal fantasy, suffice to say that it may be her own untimely illness which is making her hallucinate!

In addition to our Lord's indisposition with a slipped disc, the new year pilgrimage of the Sisters to Londoom appears to be in serious jeopardy:

Sister Berny is unable to join the pilgrimage despite every effort being made to find a carer for those poor unfortunates that rely on the Sister on a daily basis. We hope that once the Summer Sun returns to the land, she will journey across the Irish Sea to join us on the beach instead.

Novice Strumpet finds herself short of funding for her pilgrimage despite Gordon's generosity in reducing the VAT on those items necessary for the Sisters - spatulas, DVDs and new bloomers from Marks and Spencer.

Sisters Shagwell and Chastity were prepared to make the pilgrimage on their own, until news that the Lord may not be fit to perve for several months was discussed in that most moderate of papers, the Daily Mail. We hope that the Specialists they have spoken to are found wanting in their understanding of the Lord's miraculous powers of recovery.

We will await the news post the festive season and make our final decisions at that time.

In the meantime we urge all the females on the T'Interweb to think healing thoughts over the coming weeks. If we all pray together, I am sure the Lord will grant our prayer.

All together Sisters

TENNANT!! xxx

Why are Blog posts like the 207 bus?

... Coz you wait ages for one and then three come all at once!

Sisters

I have been working in the Nunnery today rather than out and about with the Care in Community folk. As part of my labours, I have gathered together some of the recent visions of our Lord as have appeared on the T'interweb and worked my picture editing magic on them so that we can worship them over and over again this coming end of week.

I must also confess that recently the (time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"* came unto me in my dreams and told me that I must leave my current flock and move to the Local Authority of the Dolphin as their needs were great. He told me I would be required to be a-preaching and a-praying for their souls and that only in His Magnificance would they be saved. Obviously I heeded his words and am now packing my Hammy posters, DW calendar and precious visions of Stubble to take to these needy people as soon as possible. They will indeed by saved!!!

So sisters, as another week of weary toil has passed and we look forward to our weekend of Pervitude and communal wine, I give a toast to the 10". May he foreswear the company of Children and forever take his pleasure at the feet of the Sisters!

Tennant Sisters x

Acolyte gossip...

Dear Sisters

It seems we have an Acolyte of some notoriety amongst our followers. I note (with envy) that Acolyte Sebrina was at LLL recently and was chosen to be the special favourite of our Lord *praise be his name and ten-inch*

As we ourselves witnessed at the matinee performance attended by the Sisters and Gutter friends, the Lord did chose a willing female to receive his wit and repartee and we believe even corresponded with some of these females by way of a reporter's notepad during the performance.

Acolyte Sebrina, please confess all to the Sisters and your name will be sung in the highest praise as a true follower of Pervitude!

Let us pray for enlightenment.

Tennant x

He returns to his f***k (that's F L O C K!)

*Time*Lord forgive me. It has been 17 days since my last blog.

Sisters

I have been seriously delinquent in my duties to the Sisterhood of late. I must confess that I have had other matters on my mind and for that I am truly sorry. That said, I come to the blog bearing good tidings of great joy to the unwashed of the T'interweb.

Over the coming mid-winter festive period a great star will descend from the heavens and come to rest over the 40" altar. This Star will herald the presentation of a Man to light up our living rooms at this Christmas time. This Man will be an Actor of great repute, a wise man whose utterances upon the great stages of ShakeyLand and the West End of Londoom have been greeted by tidal waves of appreciation by females in the audience. A Man for whom the words *credit crunch* mean a smaller BBC payroll from amongst whom he chooses his daily *prayer* companion. A Man who thinks nothing of appearing in public looking like a hack with a bad crack habit (see above).

Yes Sisters, rejoice for this Man is no other than the Lord himself made flesh on this earth. He shall appear before us on Christmas day, and at other sundry times over the holiday season, when we most need his love and ten-inch to give us sustenance to continue being nice to the 'rents and the rest of the clan that we only see once a year!

Sing Hallelujah Sisters - The Lord returneth!!!

Prepare for new Visions of the Lord

Sisters

November is indeed a blessed month. The Lord will grace the 40" altar on two separate occasions within the next two weeks. Spatulas at the ready sisters.

On 14 November we will be treated to a whole 2 mins of as yet unseen footage of two Davids galvanting around a well known West Country cathedral city with white flaky stuff clinging to their sonics. *The Next Doctor* as RTD has skillfully named this eppy will be trailed on the programme for needy children. It also stars the Irish bint from Ballykissangel who is married to that rather nice looking RP-J (aka Grimani). I feel obliged to ask *Is there anyone David hasn't worked with* and *when is it the Sisters turn*?

No sooner have we worshipped the (time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"* on Friday then on Saturday 22nd November he once more graces the 40" altar in the guise of Arthur Stanley Eddington - a gay scientist. Well whatever turns you on! Friends with Albert Einstein and living with his glamourous sister and wearing very british suits and little round glasses, this does nto promise much in the way of 10" action on screen for the sisters. However, the Lord does make cricket seems a way more interesting game that I ever thought possible!

So sisters, it is with a lighter heart that I blog today. Shakeyland and the Thrust Stage may have come and gone, but we have new visions to look forward to between now and Santa's Day.

Raise up thy voices in song Sisters!

Tennant x

Berowne, Hammy and full frontal thrusting. Act 1

Sisters, let me recall recent events...

Tis a week since we made the journey from the far flung corners of lil old Engerlaaand and the Isle of Emerald to converge upon Shakeyland. One by one the sisterhood arrived and made their way to the little shop in order to purchase items of a visionary nature before entering the grubby long necked swimmy thing and partake in numerous communal wine and voddys. Many hours of devoted contemplation took place and a plan of worship developed. Once the plan had been agreed the sisters staggered - sorry, walked back to their temporary holding cells for a brief moment of solitary contemplation with the spatula.

Darkness fell over Shakeyland and the sisters made their way to the ghostie tour in the hopes of sighting ol' Billy Boy seeing as it was All Hallows Eve when the veil between the living and dead is at its thinnest. Luckily Billy Boy didn't want to talk as this sister had a few choice words to say regarding the suffering his works have caused millions of children thoughtout the years. Our ghostie guide was also an undertaker during daylight hours and made it known on more than several occasions to Sister C and myself that he was laying with another woman... like that is going to stop us! The sisters felt overall that the only spirits present in the haunted house were safely inside Chastity and Shagwell!

We bid farewell to the ghostie guide and promptly made our way to a "withered spoon" were the sisterhood ate the last supper(of the night). We said (dis)grace before breaking of the chip and drinking more communal wine and voddy. Many discussions took place regarding our beloved and soon it was time for the sisters to make one of many pilgrimages toward the area where our Lord was addressing the great unwashed of shakeyland. We arrived at the gates of backstage to find that the barrier had not been erected therefore our love would not be coming amonst us with the sharpie that evening. (I suspect he might have been "bobbing" for apples). We stood for a few moments then decided to haul ass back to our holding cells.

As the sisters were also girly guides we were prepared with the instruments of idle gossip should the Lord decide to use the stealth mode that the devil's own chariot (penismobile) has installed. Alas, poor sisters, we were not rewarded. However news did reach our ears that our Lord's good father had come to pay call upon his youngest to check whether he was washing behind his ears.

It was at this point that Sister C felt she needed to preach the word of the Lord to all that reside in Waterside (that rhymes!) Some say many are still looking up some of the adjectives used. Indeed upon our arrival the sister was so overcome with great love for our Lord that she fell to the floor in adoration.

To be continued. ...

Tennant x

And so we bid a fond farewell...

Sisters,

So much to say and so little time to say it.

As we bid a fond adieu to our homes for our pilgrimage to Shakeyland so does our(Time) Lord bid farewell to that most famous and coveted of roles at the BBC. It was indeed in shock and awe and sliding to the floor that I received the most distressing of news last night from out of the mouth of the Lord himself. Oh what a mouth, that pert top lip, that most suckable bottom lip (sorry I'm digressing). The Lord is indeed handing the key of the Tardis to some undeserving lowlife at the end of the specials.

And so, Sisters, it is with heavy heart and plodding step that I pack my vampy see through top, my hip-hugging black trousers and my fuck-me boots for our sojourn in Stratford. I feel in need of a group therapy session around a bottle of voddy in the Dirty Duck. If the Lord could join us, to comfort us each in tun with his 10", so much the better!

After the weeping and a-wailing and self-flagellation following the news of his departure, there is a growing realisation across the T'interweb that the Lord may now be seen in more "adult" roles which can only be watched by those who have a post-watershed bedtime. We will finally be rid of the Child and her little gang of followers who will soon forget the Lord and all his attributes and move back to boy bands and Iggle Piggle.

The Lord will once again be held in esteem in his rightful place on the 40" altar bearing his soul, his chest and, the Universe willing, wielding his 10" rather than a sonic screwdriver!

Bring it on Sisters!

Until tomorrow my friends. Au Revoir. xxx

Seven Sunday Sins

Sisters


I feel that as it is Sunday, we should have a Sermon, and what better topic than the seven deadly sins as applied to the (Time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"*

Naturally, being good and faithful Sisters of Pervitude, we are seeking ways to embrace the 7 into our daily routine of worship at the 40” altar and contemplation of impure thoughts and deeds., so that should an opportunity arise to practice any of these sins in the presence of our Lord Himself, the Sisters will be deemed worthy of His praise and the attention of the 10”.

1. Lust – Well Duh! The picture added to this post inspires lustful thoughts in all the SOP. Ah that the Bastard Face be turned on us when we stand in his presence.

2. Gluttony - Overindulgence on the 10"? Gluttony is most prevalent when worshipping at the 40” altar, Casanova, followed by Blackpool and finished off with Secret Smile.

3. Greed – The SOP are mistresses of this sin. We are willing and prepared to take the 10” any time, any place, any how! Just call us the Martini Girls.

4. Sloth – Sisters, this is the most taxing deadly sins. How can we be uncaring or apathetic about the (Time) Lord? We will need to be punished severely by the 10” for our failure. *Bend over and lift thy skirt*

5. Wrath – I think we have proven our devotion to the Lord by calling Holy Jihad on a regular basis. Organisations and individuals who stand in the way of the Sister’s work will be subject to our unending wrath. Those who criticize the Lord’s work (or call him *skinny*) will be similarly dealt with.

6. Envy - Ah indeed. This goes hand in hand with wrath. The Sisters do covet those who have unlimited access to the 10” and do declare Holy Jihad upon them.

7. Pride – We are proud of our (Time) Lord and all that he achieves: sexiest man, most popular actor, best actor in a drama series, blue peter badge winner! May he continue to be decorated with such honours and may the Sisters continue to bask in His Glory.

Here endeth the Sermon for this holy day.

Tennant x

Bum, Bum, Bum

Sisters

I have temporarily borrowed the above picture from someone lucky enough to get this view over the weekend. I promise to return it when we have finished with it, although it may be slightly soggy by then!

I leave you now for some solitary contemplation of the rear of our (Time) Lord. *Pass my Holy Spatula please*

Tennant x

A Plethora of Pervitudiness (Pervitudity?)

The Sisters gathered around the 40" altar last night to:

• Perve our (Time) Lord,
• Plan for our Shakey pilgrimage; and
• Plot our revenge upon those who seek to emulate and immitate us.

Our perving proved very fruitful. Many new visions have emerged from the Door that leads to the Thrust Stage. Some very bloomer-damaging moving images have also been captured on instruments of idle gossip and posted to the nefarious video website known as Youtube (or in Sister Burny's case You-can't-tube). Many splendid hours of research was undertaken by Sisters Chastity and Shagwell to discover the best place to stand at the barrier and the best approach to take to ensure a suitable response from our Lord (trade secrets I'm afraid).

Plans are taking shape for the pilgrimage. The days (and nights) are being planned with military precision - 14 hundred hours, check in; 17 hundred hours have showers and decorate self with war paint; 19 hundred hours be scared out of our tiny minds; 21 hundred hours partake of satay chicken and prawn crackers. Sometime in the early morning I believe we will be opening the voddy and perving DI Carlisle (if not in the flesh, then most definately on the shiny round discs that show moving pictures).

Our hearts were gladdened by the news that Sister Chastity's letter has been received and responded to by the Lord. He knows we are coming! Her signed Hammy pic has been reverently placed with her other sacred relics collected over the past years.

Sister Shagwell's recent audience with the Right Honorable Mr R T Davies also proves that the Sisters are becoming increasingly well connected. Congratulations to the Sister on her gold star from the head of DW!

So the night was only marred by the disappointment that while the Sisters are attracting attention across the web, it seems that we are being imitated and our name is being taken in vain. This has caused some slight discord in the Order and we have set Sister Burnaholeinmyknickers on the case of these imposters and tricksters. Leave no stone unturned Sister in rooting out these unbelievers!

Until next week. May the Lord be with you and fill you with his soul and his seed.

Tennant x

Musings on a Friday.....

Sisters

I have sucumbed to the virus that is prevalent amongst the great unwashed of the west country and think i might be high on Beechams powders so i apologise in advance if this makes no sense at all!!

I have been musing this morning about our (Time) Lord *praise be his name and 10 inch*. It seems that LLL has opened to almost universal critical acclaim. Once again, the massed press - broadsheet and red top - seem surprised that the Lord displays such a natural talent for the stage. I am mystified as to why this should be, but grateful that they have chosen to shower well deserved praise on the Lad. Please note the Captain of the Enterprise has not chosen to appear in TWO shakey plays concurrently! The fact that the Lord can do this says a lot for his stamina (!!!)

I am looking foward with barely concealed excitement and damp bloomers to our imminent pilgrimage to the sanctity of Shakeyland. Each, almost daily, report of our Lord's Stage Door appearances builds my anticipation to fever pitch, only to be increased by the visions of shaggability which accompany these reports. I have now even seen a moving picture image of the Lord amongst his followers, on the dreaded *Youtube* (Holy Jihad be called on said website until Sister Berny can also indulge in such pervitude). His informal banter with the hormonal women behind the barriers fills my heart with joy as i eagerly await my turn to try and persuade the Lord to place his holy lips upon mine for the sake of the Children in Need!

And so, as I snuggle further under the blanket in an effort to keep my burning flesh warm, I am kept hopeful that the Lord will appreciate his *presents* from the Sisters and reward us with his *presence* later in the place where we have chosen to rest our heads. (It takes great effort to pun when you have a headache the size of Vesuvius!)

May the (Time) Lord bless you and keep you.

Tennant x

Nylon visions....

Today, Sister Chastity shared this rather endearing pic of The Lad sporting a rather flattering pair of nylons. Be still my beating heart. My head is full of inpure thoughts after worshipping in front of this picture for many hours. Praise be to the Lord 10".

Tennant. x

Stirring the Blood

It seems the blog has reached a critical mass of people now to start stirring debate as to what we post. We are not simply talking to ourselves after all!!!

I would like to say here and now that the Sisters who devised and made the Blog and continue to contribute to it, do it purely out of love for our (Time) Lord *praise be his name and 10"*. We post what we want, when we want to post it.

We make no secret of the fact that we scavenge the T'interweb, forums and other blogs, in our never ending search for titbits, images and gossip about the Lord so that we may share these with our fellow sisters, novice, acolytes and sundry other followers.

If you find something on here that belongs to you, be very proud. It means that it is the best on the web! If you don't like it, don't come back! It won't prevent us doing what we do on behalf of womenkind everywhere.

OK rant over. Sorry Sisters to spoil Sunday with a post like this, but I feel it may be time to call Holy Jihad on all the Whingers, Moaners, Spoilsports and general Pain In The Arses and tell them to Bog Off and leave the Sisters alone to their Pervitude.

I have chosen the above picture to remind everyone why we are here!


Tennant Sisters. Tennant x

Holy Visions

Sisters, fall to your knees in worship of the vision before you.

I am in need of many hours of solitude in my cell with a spatula.

Prasie be upon him and the thought of stubble burn be with you for many days.....

Tennant xx

Dear Sisters...

...it is, but 4 weeks till we make our pilgrimage to the Holy land of Shakey. I am preparing myself for this mission by spending many hours online searching and admiring(and perving) over pictures of The Lad and spreading the Good Word of the might of the 10" all over the tinterweb...(and the Rhydian Forum! They love me over there.) I feel I am fully prepared to absorb the might of the 10" and marvel in its glory. And in its tights. (Humana Humana.) I would also like to thank Sister Chastity for her glorious images of 'The Tongue', which have filled me with many impure thoughts which all of my fellow sisters will be very proud of their Novice for having! Thanks, Sisters.

Tennant. x

Dear Sisters...

The Sisters, known for their wisdom and for calling an instrument for tilling the soil an instrument for tilling the soil, have been receiving an increasing number of emails from poor lost souls who need more clarity of purpose in their lives.

As always the Sisters are willing to help. Here is a selection of the Dear Sisters letters we received this week:

Dear Sisters, I am a victim of cyber bullying. I can’t leave the house for fear of being pelted with eggs. I think it may be something to do with the man who buys my rusks and milk. love Georgia

Dear Georgia... fuck off and leave the Lad to some real women!
Love, the Sisters

Dear Sisters, I came to America to seek my fortune but have ended up on a shit vamp show. should I return to the UK and get back with my previous boyfriend? Soph

Dear Soppy.... We advise you stay put as you have more chance of making a fortune than shagging your ex.
Love, the Sisters

Dear Sisters, I live in welsh Wales and had a fantastic relationship with my previous partner before he dumped me, was I being too clingy as his work often kept him from my bed, and apart from that my 'rents complained about the noise when he stayed over? B

Dear welsh sheep shagger, I fear that it was never destined to be true love between you and your partner. His job is his life and frankly you were just a convenient shag. Get over it, and for Thorssake move out of the 'rents or your never going have a decent relationship.
Love, the Sisters


Dear Sisters, I am a small aussie gay icon and I have fallen for a tall Scottish lad. We find it hard to shag because I am so small he can’t find me in the dark. Can you suggest any positions which we might try?

Dear Kylie, it is Kylie isn't it? Our advice is DON'T DO IT! if he is that tall you may end up be impaled on a weapon of mass orgasm and may never sing again - hang on, go for your life girl!
Love, the Sisters xx

Dear sisters, my name is… well people just call me Gremlin. I work for BBC welsh wales and have fallen for a colleague. Recently I caught him in the stationery cupboard with another co-worker. I feel so humiliated and ashamed. He has gone away to work at the moment but is due back in January. How can I cope upon his return? Please help me sisters.

Gremlin you say? Strange as I thought you spelt Jennie will a J. Our advice would be to carry on as if nothing had happened as I feel this colleague will do the same to the next available payroll number. Could you not transfer or alternatively ensure that your colleague is surrounded by men who are travelling on "the other bus" Maybe that way he will stick to the job in hand and not go looking to sharpen his pencil in another hole.
Love, the Sisters

Here Come the Sisters

Sisters



I have declared Holy Jihad on another multinational company today - Abbey Plc - who have singularly failed to call me when they promised and have removed £1000 from my account - leaving us penniless today. I am furious beyond description so have turned to our (Time)Lord *praise be his 10"* to pray for calm and happiness in the midst of my troubles.



I have been contemplating our upcoming pilgrimage to the Thrust Stage (assuming the bloody bank give me my money back) and feel we need a Sisters of Pervitude group song to sing whilst wending our way amongst the great unwashed on the streets of Stratford. May I humbly suggest "Here Come the Girlz" - SOP re-mix:

here come the girls...Mmmmm

oh yeah..Oh Vodka, I don't need no lemonade

Chorus:

Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Here come the girls! (Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)

Slippin' on our little black dresses
10 inches we're bound to impress
Turn it up, we're little temptresses
Monroe's got nothin' on us
Read our curves like poetry
Tonight we rule the world, beware cos here come the girls

Here the whistle as we walk by
Shine like a crystal all through the night
One look will make a grown Timelord cry
Step aside we got a starring role
Camera, Action, Here we go
Tonight we rule the world, beware cos here come the girls


We're filled with sexuality
With a sex-mad scotsman we feel complete
Stop speculating, we're Sisters of Pervitude
All independant women know
We got the guts to run the show
Don't let no Lad tell us nothing
We're in control


Sing out Sisters!!!!


Tennant x